NOVA Parenting

Happy (early) Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T21:09:00.002-05:00

Hubby and I don't celebrate Valentine's in a huge way. We already had our date (which was fabulously awesome by the way) and I'm sure there will be something small we give to each other tomorrow. I already got him something he has been wanting and was smart enough to put away. Valentine's isn't a huge deal to us but its always nice to be thought of/remembered. Who doesn't want to be thought of especially when romance and all that jazz is put into the back burner just a tad when you have two small kids running around? It is just nice to bring it up on the front burner every now and then.

I really do have a great husband. It sounds braggy and really I'm not trying to be a nah nah nah in your face about it because that isn't me. I just love him and thinks he's the cats meow. He really does do a lot for the kiddos and me that I'm so very appreciative of. He cooks, cleans, and fixes random things for us. He certainly keeps our house up to date with technology. Without him I think we'd be lost with old Nokia cell phones, analog televisions and I'd be dead in the water trying to figure out how to connect to the internet. I could probably figure it all out, but its just nice he does something he enjoys while I reap the benefits of him keeping us up with technology.

Hubby is freaking hilarious lately. He usually is. He's a quiet quiet quiet man but when he opens his mouth he's just freaking hilarious. Its like he saves it all day and when he has something to say its just genius sarcasm or hilariousness. I love it!

I love how he also continues to push me to be a better person. Not in the annoying way of what he thinks I should be. He just wants me to do more for myself because he knows I don't. Its just nice that he cares about my personal growth and wanting me to do more then just kid stuff. He made a comment once about how the kids will grow up one day and be long gone and then what will I do with myself? I jokingly said well maybe I'll just have a dry spell for a few years once they move out and get married and then I'll have grand kids. I just love my little world of kiddos even when it gets insanely annoying. I'm not perfect...obviously. There are days when I want to pull my hair out of my head (the hair my daughter hasn't pulled out yet) and run into another direction. We've all been there...don't deny it.

Hubby and I have talked a lot about how we met lately too which is always good to reminiscence. Its was a bitter sweet memory though with some parts. Mainly old memories were brought up by the anniversary of our friends death who took a role in how we got together. It put both of us in a funk for a day. It was just interesting hearing for the first time or even rehearing his perspective and him being surprised with part of my perspective. We were meant to be. I'm glad hubby fought for me. I would of been in a very different place right now. I don't discount who I was with but I'm where I wanted to be. I don't know if that would of happened had I stayed around or took another path. Everything just happened for a reason I suppose.

I am just thankful and feel so blessed to have such a wonderful man be my husband. He's thoughtful, kind, sincere, honest, loyal, hilarious, passionate, romantic, not too hairy, not balding, loveable, sweet, pride without vanity, silly, and cute husband and awesome father to my kids. I'm just glad he's also my best friend.

Love you babe! Happy Valentine's Day!

Adventure Guides and Princesses

2012-02-06T21:18:00.002-05:00

Each quarter my company puts out a newsletter. I always read it cover to cover. Its great to keep up with whats going on in my company and especially the people in it. I was pleasantly surprised in one of the articles that an employee was active in the YMCA program called Adventure Guides and Princesses (formerly known as Indian Princesses). By the end of the article I was beaming and had mini flashbacks of my childhood. I was once an Indian Princess.

The program itself is really amazing. If you google it, Adventure Guides and Princess centers around forming a bond between father and son or daughter and just having fun. It isn't like the boy scouts or girl scouts where it focuses more on achievement with a lot less parent involvement. With Adventure Guides you have a monthly meeting where it begins with a beat of your tribe drum, a few meeting agenda items like what monthly activity will be next and then a talking stick goes around and a child or parent can talk about whatever they want. No one can talk except the person that has the stick. The talking stick helps build confidence and the ability to speak in front of a group. Usually each month there is a small activity that you can choose to go or not go to such as ice skating, hiking, miniature golf, etc., Each year there is two camp outs one with tents and another at YMCA camp with cabins where food is prepared for you by YMCA staff. These camp outs have all sorts of activities from horse back riding, archery, canoeing, swimming, basketball, etc., It also has derby races and other small events throughout the year that the Dads put together for their kids. There is also a YMCA lock in where you spend the night at the YMCA playing basketball, swimming, etc., It is 100% fun and I don't know any other program like it.

I joined Indian Princess (now Adventure Guides/Princesses) at a very young age. I loved being with my Dad one on one going to each adventure. It was something we had together that my Mom was not apart of. No offense to my Mom at all, as I was a complete Mama's girl, but Moms couldn't meddle with whatever we were doing. Usually I'd leave to a camp out with a french braid and come back with the same hair do (a lot more messy) because we just didn't stop to comb my hair. It wasn't a huge priority really. We just played hard the entire time with tetherball, hiking, canoeing, etc., I just had the time of my life with my Dad. I remember those camp outs so fondly and the only way I could describe it was complete childhood freedom. I got dirty, swam in lakes and cruised through woods. Baths? Peh yeah right! I was too busy having fun!

I know the YMCA program really helped established the great relationship I have with my Dad to this day. He loved it. I loved it. I just could not say enough about how awesome it was. I eventually aged out of the program and how I HATED that. I had to say goodbye after eight long years of loving this awesome experience and it was sad for me to move on.

What I did find out and what I am just over the moon is that there is a local co ed Adventure Guide (boys) and Princess group that my son can join with my husband this Fall. I approached my husband on it and while some of the activities like rock climbing may be a bit much for him to do at such a young age, its okay because not everyone is required to go to every single event. Its if you want to and if you can make it. You aren't looked down on or thrown out of the group. Its very relaxed environment.

I am just so pleased that another generation can enjoy something so unique and precious. A bond between a Dad and child is precious. This program helps solidifies their relationship and I'm all for that. Knowing the impact it has made in my life and still makes in my life is just awesome. I encourage everyone to join this program. It is cheap (I think YMCA membership for this is around $25) and all it requires is a Dads time with his young child(ren). You really can't beat something that promotes bonding like that. Its priceless.

"Friends Forever".

Mommy Craziness

2012-01-20T22:41:00.002-05:00

Today while I was at the food store in line to check out, I heard a conversation between two Moms that literally made me want to gag. They were the OVER braggy Moms. I'm all for bragging about your kids. I do it. I love hearing my friends or family talk about their childrens milestones. We are all proud Moms and love nothing more about talking about our kids...but I hate when it goes to the extreme. Their conversation went something like this:

Mom 1: Jake got on the honor roll at school. Straight A's!

Good for Jake! Glad for him

Mom 2: Nathan got on the honor roll at school too. Second time he's gotten all A's

Awesome for Nathan!

Mom 1: Yeah Jake got a 100% in his Geometry class. He obviously has my math genes.

Mom 2: That is so great! Nathan got a 110 % in his Trigonometry class. I mean how do you get a 110%?

Nice for Nathan, but this is starting to be a competition or what?

Mom 1: Really? Well I'm just so proud of my Jake. He just takes school so seriously. He knows and we know he is going to get an ivy league education.

Mom 2: Oh yeah. I know exactly what you're saying. He's in tenth grade but we've already been on several college visits to Harvard, Yale and Princeton. I'm thinking Nathan should go to Oxford for graduate school. You know, so he can study abroad and get a real world experience.

Gag

Mom 1: Nothing is better then a real world experience. I think during the summer month between Jake's school, if he hasn't gotten an amazing internship at his Uncle's law firm then perhaps we'll send him back packing through Europe.

Mom 2: Oh certainly if you want to go there. I just know Nathan is going to medical school. We as a family knew from a very young age he was going to medical school.

Super puke

I found it funny once Mom 1 left that Mom 2 rolled her eyes at Mom 1 behind her back. Why is there so much competition? I mean these two were obviously trying to one up each other the entire time. If they were men I would wonder if they were trying to prove who had the bigger johnson. I'm all for being proud of your kids. I would be immensely proud if I knew one of my friends or family's kid was doing great at school, thinking about college, etc., However, I don't imagine ever having a pissing contest about what my kid does over another kid like this. All of our kids have strengths, weaknesses, etc., I just don't get Mommy wars like this. Our kids achievements should be their own, not for personal gratification of one up'ing another child. I doubt these parents will get over themselves.

Love of Dogs

2012-01-16T22:49:00.000-05:00

I never told this story before to anyone. When I was little and living down south it was common for dogs to be kept outside on leashes. Dogs lived outside. Hell, dogs in my neighborhood didn't had leashes on most of the time and would roam the streets making dog friends and visiting neighbors. It wasn't a problem or anything. Wasn't even weird. Just the way things were. I often felt bad for the dogs that were kept on leashes outside. I would wonder why they couldn't roam free like the other dogs so often I'd try to befriend these chained animals.

I didn't have huge connections with all of them. One neighbor dog was very large and hyper. He often would jump on me so roughly when I approached him he would knock me over. Another dog....well he needed to be fixed because all he wanted to do was hump your leg if you got too close to him. It didn't matter when you saw him....morning, noon or night....he wanted to hump your leg. Then there was Rug rat. That was the dogs name. That was the dogs name. Not sure why but that's what it was.

Now Rug rat used to be an inside dog. He got out shortly after the owners had a baby to the yard. He was a small dog, maybe 12lbs and I would sit with this dog as he was chained up next to his dog house and would pet him for the longest time. We were friends. He wagged his little tail every time I came over and would always love a scratch behind his ear. I loved him and he loved me.

One day I was running around the neighborhood and this dog I never saw before started running after my friend and I. I never saw this dog before which was rare because I knew every dog in the neighborhood . This dog was mean and out to get us. His teeth were flaring and ready to bite. My friend and I ran as fast as we could. I knew we couldn't make it back to my house before this dog had us but thankfully in the distance we saw Rug Rats dog house and as always he was outside chained up. I yelled at my friend to follow me and we ran up and jumped on top of the dog house. The dog house wasn't very big. It would take nothing for this mean dog to get us. We were terrified. Rug Rat however knew what was happening and knew this mean dog was out to get us. He started barking and chasing this dog as best he could trying in vain to get him away. This dog was determined to get at my friend and I and kept circling Rug Rats dog house. I knew Rug Rat was little and no match for the mean dog. I didnt want him to get hurt so I started screaming. I saw my neighbors car pull up through the trees and started screaming for Neil. Neil came around the trees towards my frantic voice while my Mom who happen to hear us from inside my house also came through a line of trees to see what her daughter was screaming about. The two adults screamed at the dog and thankfully he ran away and was never seen again.

The adults got the dog away but really it was Rug Rat who saved us doing his best to ward off this mean dog. He was helping a friend. From that day forward I made a point to visit Rug Rat as much as I could. He knew and I knew what he did. He had saved us. I'm not sure why I thought about him after all these years but I did. Even though his dog got betrayed by his owners being left outside like garbage, he still wanted to love and be loved. Thank you Rug Rat. I wish I could scratch behind your ears and sit with you for a while. Thanks for being a friend.

Reunion

2012-01-11T21:36:00.002-05:00

Last week my husband saw is Dad for the first time in twenty years. It was the first time my children and I ever met him. It was the first time my husband would ever met his wife of twenty years. There was a lot of firsts.

We met him on New Years at the train station. How Russian is that? New Years for Russians is thought to be what ever you do that day is what you will do for your entire year. My husband was nervous. I was nervous. Our kids...oblivious to what was about to happen. He asked me if he thinks he will be able to recognize his Father. I assured him he would. A few moments later his Dad emerged from the gate and even if I never saw a photo of the man in my life, I would have known he was my husband's Dad. J and his Dad are spitting images of each other.

The baffling and AMAZING thing that I witnessed on the first night was how alike J and his Dad are. I can first hand say a lot of who you are in mannerisms, etc., is just in your genes. J and his Dad did so many things alike; they drank the same way, ate food the same way, gestured the day way, their lips curled up slightly when they were amused the same way. It was bizarre! I kept watching them like a tennis match at dinner as they sat across from each other watching this phenomenon. Even their freaking ear lobes looked identical. EAR LOBES. I guess I had a first hand glimpse of what my husband will look twenty years from now.

We did the usual touristy things while he was here. We took him to D.C. Took him to American stores. His Dad thought the Capital and the White House were the same building but wondered why it would sometimes have a dome. He also was baffled at self check out lines at the stores and wondered if people just steal items claiming they had bought it. He also wanted a true American meal, which we gave him. We also explained that America is a melting pot so you can have anything. We even took him to a Capitals game which was eye opening for him. Imagine how awesomely loud the Verizon Center is. Do you know Russians watch hockey like they are going to the theater? HA!

My kids really started to like their Grandfather and Ira. The baby loves everyone she sees for the most part, which I think touched them that she was so sweet with them. Zaichik bonded with his Grandfather quickly by playing a chase game with him. Both Zaichik and his Grandfather were smiling ear to ear chasing each other around. Zaichik still ask about his Grandfather and while it warms my heart to hear he really did enjoy meeting and visiting with him, we also don't know when we will see him again.

When they left after five short days, I teared up. I mourned for them in some ways because it was nice having them around. You can have family be so crappy to you but truly they were great. They loved us and we loved them. My kids got along well with them and you could see the love between them and their Grandfather and his wife. They were both gracious, patient and even though the language barrier was there with the four year old, they listened. They laughed when my little guy laughed. They hugged and kissed them hello and goodbye. They were present in my kids little worlds and having had Grandparents that really didn't do that, you can appreciate it.

I'm not sure when we will see them again. I hope soon. Maybe a year or so from now. They suggested a warm location. I agree. Who doesn't want to get out of the cold winter days? I just am happy that I got to witness a beautiful reunion. As I told them before they left (of course translated) that I humbled and overjoyed that my husband got to see his Dad again and that my children got to know their Grandparents. I pray that we have many more visits and a lot more conversations.

Its 10:03 pm here...so Good Morning or доброе утро Diada and Ira. We miss you and love you/Мы по тебе скучаю и люблю тебя.

Missing Them

2011-12-29T20:16:00.002-05:00

I don't know if its the holidays or seeing random things that remind me of them, but I miss my Nagypapa and Nagymama (Grandpa and Grandma in Hungarian). Since their death I of course would think about them from time to time and pray for them. It is just lately I have just had this overwhelming feel of loss for them and while I wish I had them around...I don't know why this sudden spring of emotion has started.

I lost both my Grandparents years ago. One when I was about twelve and the other about six years ago. They really were fantastic grandparents. I felt love from them. They doted on my sister and I and we just felt like their home was another addition to our home. I loved walking through the doors of their home, smelling the faint smell of my Nagymama's cigarettes and getting squishy hugs from them. Its one of my fondest memories of them. It is something so simple as a hug, but having that love and knowing its real means the world to a child.

My memories of them are so random lately. Yesterday I was watching a movie where people were celebrating the 4th of July and holding up sparklers to celebrate. I went back to a memory I haven't thought about in a long time where my cousins and I with my Nagypapa and Nagymama were in their back yard lighting sparklers and celebrating Independence Day. I was just a kid and I could feel that care free emotion a child has. I could hear my cousins laughing their silly giggles and see my Nagymama with one hand smoking and hollering at us to be careful. It is such a silly random memory but a memory nonetheless.

I miss them. I just wish sometimes I could call them on the phone or had the ability to go up and visit them. I wish I could tell them I love them and how much they meant to me. I miss the fact they won't know my children and my kids won't know the love of their Great Grandparents. I miss that I can't hear their voices or hear them encourage me on whatever I'm doing in life. I just miss the fact that there will never be another chance to pull up in their gravel drive way, run up to the door and be greeted with squishy hugs and kisses.

I love you Nagypapa and Nagymama. I'm praying for you and hope you're praying for us.

Millionaire

2011-12-15T21:49:00.003-05:00

During one of my outings with my kids, another Mom (a stranger)made a comment I never heard before. She smiled at my little boy and baby girl and said, "you have a million dollar family." Um...excuse me? I inquired what she had meant because I was just stumped on what her meaning was. She told me that because I have both a boy and a girl, its called having a million dollar family. She went on to say how nice it is to have both and how lucky I am. While it was a nice compliment, I told her I was quite happy that God blessed me with two healthy children. I didn't continue with how I didn't care what the sex my children were. I wasn't going make an issue of it. I just never heard the term, "Million dollar family" EVER.

I continued the day as normal with dinner, bath, and bed time stories. That night after the kids were in bed I did a simple google search to see if this lady made it up. She didn't. The definition clearly defines that having both a boy and a girl means you have the million dollar family. While I always dreamed of being a millionaire, I didn't quite dream of it in that way. I know I'm rich in the love and grace God blessed me with in having two beautiful kids. I just never had a preference. I just wanted children. Healthy children.

I honestly don't get preferences in having either sex or one of each. While its nice to have both a boy and a girl, I don't feel like I would be unfulfilled if I had all boys or all girls. In fact I was a bit shocked when the ultrasound tech told me I was having a girl the second time I was pregnant. I almost expected to be having another boy. I just figured I'd have a slew of boys running around my house after my first was a boy. I was happy of course to find out I was having a little girl, but more so that my baby was healthy. Finding out her sex was just an easier way to prepare for her room, think of names, etc.,

I feel rich because I have a beautiful family and something money just can't buy. You can't buy children (legally). All the money in the world wouldn't make me feel as rich as I do now. I have these beautiful kids and I am so thankful for them. You can always have "stuff" but the excitement in a child's eyes and the love they give you is simply priceless. Having a boy and a girl doesn't define the richness that I feel when I look at my family. I just feel blessed that God gave the kids that I do have and pray that I have a few more. Does it matter what sex I have? Absolutely not.

Why not?

2011-12-09T19:41:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite people posted a blog recently where she talked about how she used to love doing silly internet questionaires. While they aren't as popular as they once were, I decided why not copy her little post and post my own answers here. Thanks for the fun Friday night idea!

1. Sleep style? I always fall asleep on my left side. Generally I have a pillow over my head. My husband tends to snore and I hate being woken up from it.

2. Right or left side of bed? left side. Generally where ever we are my husband sleeps closest to the door. No real reason. Maybe subconscious thing to protect us if there was an intruder?

3. Soft mattress or hard mattress? We have a hard mattress. Its okay. I'd much rather have a soft mattress. Thinking our next mattress will be a sleep number so we can both get what we want.

4. Top sheet? I hate them. In fact we never make our bed with them because we both detest them.

5. Make the bed in the morning? I'm usually the first one up and out the door but even if I wasn't...it wouldn't happen. There are a million household chores that are high priority. I do make my sons every so often though.

6. Floss everyday? Nope. I got those cool floss sticks and everything. I still can't remember.

7. Floss top or bottom first? If I do....bottom.

8. Brush back and forth, up and down, or circular? All of the above?

9. Brush top or bottom first? Right or left? bottom right.

10. Pop zits? When I have them.

11. Tweeze? Yes but I hate doing it.

12. TP over or under? over

13. Crinkle or fold? Crinkle.

14. Shower AM or PM? Depends on the day and depends how cold it is outside. Sometimes I shower at night so I don't have wet hair when I go to work and its bitter cold outside.

15. Start the shower before you get in? who doesn't? I won't step into cold water!

16. Get in the shower on the side under the flow, or away from it? Away from it

17. Ever sit down in the shower? Often either to shave or just zone out for a moment until I'm interrupted by somebody. grrrrr

18. Face the water to wash hair, or face away? Face away.

19. Soap up everything then rinse, or soap and rinse at the same time? Same time.

20. Soap, or body wash? Both. For the face and more sweaty areas I use soap because it drys up my skin. I also use body wash

21. Conditioner? I have to. Hair is too long. I prefer Herbel Essence b/c it smells so damn good and I love the two in one.

22. Dry off in standing in the tub or out? I dry off in the tub but walk out when I'm half way dry.

Yay for a Friday night survey! What a bunch of weird questions I'd never thought about until it was asked : )

Um...what?

2011-11-29T21:46:00.000-05:00

As usual during the work week I picked my son up from his Pre-K class as soon as I got off work. He as usual was delighted to see me and ran up to give me a big hug. He and his friends were just finishing their snacks. My son with a smiley face took me to one of the three tables the kids were sitting at and showed me what they had for snack that day. I smiled knowing how pleased he was to get oranges and wafer cookies. It is a favorite snack of his. I started having a casual conversation with one of his teachers about his day and joking about a silly conversations I was trying NOT to have with a bunch of four year olds a moment earlier when a certain little boy in Zaichik's class commented about butts and how his Dad had boobies. I wasn't about to go there. I have no idea why it was brought up but four year olds will talk about whatever is on there mind...maybe too much....

During our conversation, the teacher and I looked over to see the other teacher with a surprised look on her face. We summoned her over and I said, "If its about butts, I have no idea where that came from." She chuckled a little at that because butts, poop, farts and all those types of things are hilarious to four year olds. She's heard that conversation maybe a thousand times. She surprisingly said, "No, I'm trying to listen to a conversation." We of course inquire what it was about. She replied with, "One of the kids was telling the other kids at the table how he is sitting at a table with no colored people." Our mouths dropped. Um...what?????????????

I was stunned. I'm still stunned. Its 2011. We live in the North where racism isn't as prevalent. Seriously? I don't ever recall hearing those conversations as a young child and we had KKK marches through our city streets and I was a kid. I couldn't believe it. I told the teacher that I don't think he knows what he is saying. Hopefully he wasn't hearing that at home. I mean at this age four years olds don't care what color you are, how you look or anything like that. The biggest thing may be girls vs. boys but that is it. I remember as a child being four and one of my classmates had one eye. His other eye had a plastic piece and it would constantly fall out on the playground. We were always having to look for Lolo's eyeball on the playground. We weren't grossed out. It was just part of Lolo and he was still our friend. We were color blind, disability blind...everything blind just as long as we could play together then it was all about fun.

I'm not sure how the teachers handled that. I left it to them but left them with instructions that if Zaichik ever says anything remotely like that I want to know and that kind of talk is not at all allowed in our home. We respect all of God's children. Thankfully the kid that I think said this is not a favorite of Zaichik's. In fact Zaichik often tells me that this kid isn't his friend. I'm not sure why but perhaps Zaichik just doesn't like this kids attitude. I just hope he isn't being taught this at home. I pray that if the parents hear about this then they correct their child. I just can't imagine teaching a child about "colored" people. Seriously?

I'll be praying for them.

Extended Family

2011-11-19T21:22:00.002-05:00

I hate that people are greedy. I hate that people are torn apart for the damnest of reasons and while we can forgive in our hearts, we protect ourselves when people don't every try to apologize for the things they have done. The blog may be a bit cryptic to some but I am sure every family has a story where in one reason or another they are ripped apart. During this time of the year I think about a certain side of my family and can't help but miss them.

In the past, Thanksgiving was the time of the year we would visit my Grandparents in Cleveland. I had a great set of Grandparents that I knew loved me. I felt it, I heard them tell me that they did and I just felt a depth of love every time I came over to their house. I was always greeted by squishy kisses, hugs and they would listen to whatever little worry or story I had for them. I know a lot of people have or had great grandparents that hugged and kissed them, BUT when you only have 75% of your Grandparents treat you with love, you learn to appreciate it a little more. On my visits I also had an Aunt, Uncle and cousins that I loved to see and play with. I felt love from them too. I knew they genuinely were happy to see me and I cherished those play dates where my cousins and I would drive the adults a bit crazy.

After my Grandmother was dead for short period of time, one of my cousins moved in with my Grandfather. While it was thoughtful in the beginning for her to do that, she was also told that she too needed to have her own life and to not put it on hold. She should find a husband and have her own family. I believe it was one of her wishes. Years went by and we would still visit every Thanksgiving. Everything was still at it was minus one Grandparent. As my Grandfather aged he started getting alzheimer and dementia. During one point my cousin who still lived at the house told us we were no longer to stay in the house when we visited. There was no reason why. She just decided she didn't like it. My Grandfather would never want that. We were always welcomed no matter what. Other extremely hurtful incidents also occurred that I don't want to get into.. Things looked fishy. We did an internet search. We found out my cousin got power of attorney over my Grandfather and then got the deed to my Grandfathers house. We had no idea. Our family was shocked.

My Grandfather died Thanksgiving day a few years later. We believe he wanted us to come "home" one more time. We did. It was one of the hardest few days I ever had. It wasn't the loss of my Grandfather even though that was hard, but the insane treatment we received by the other side. There were a lot of incidents but a few come to memory is a cousins daughter kicked my mother during the wake, our belongings were thrown from one pew to another in church during the funeral and we were treated so badly that I believe I had my first panic attack in the restaurant of an Apple Bee's because I couldn't handle the grief of losing my Grandfather and the immense shock of how badly my family was treated. My family had no inheritance because the money that was there was taken. I can get over the money issue. However, I had to beg to get family photos of my family when we were young or even my Mother's wedding photos. I even begged for the pictures my sister and I colored with markers that my grandparents taped to their bedroom wall. We were given a few of them along with a few other items eventually. They were just tokens that meant all the sentiments in the world to us and nothing to them. To this day those memories that rush back are still extremely hurtful. I forgave a bit in my heart but they never thought for a moment they did anything wrong. I just couldn't believe that such a group of loving individuals could turn with such hatred and disgust.

Given all that, I think about them a lot during this time of the year. I swear I smelled my Grandfather for a moment when I was kissing my son the other night as a almost, "hey its just about Thanksgiving" message. I looked up and the smell was gone. I think about my Grandparents and how I miss getting those kisses and squishy hugs. I miss my Aunt talking about her dreams, my Uncle tickling us until we cried and the cousins that would giggle away and just be silly with us. I mourn for what was. I question a lot on why they would ever do this to us. I miss them. I miss my family and I'll probably never have them back. Its sad. The money isn't the issue. There was very little of it as my Grandfather never made more then 10K a year. Its the hurt behind it and the betrayal of what was done.

I'll pray for them. What else can I do? I just wonder if they ever think about us. Do they ever want to reach out and say, "we're sorry"? Maybe it will happen someday. Maybe it won't. I just wish people, especially families would think before acting harshly towards each other.

The Waiting Game

2011-11-16T21:12:00.004-05:00

My daughter since birth has not passed her right ear hearing test. It was a shock to me as they took my two day old infant, put the little tube in her ear and with a heavy sigh said, "she isn't passing". I got a somewhat reassured smile from the friendly hospital hearing specialist telling me everything is okay and perhaps there is fluid still in her ear from birth. I decided for now that was what it was as I didn't want to stress too hard about it as I was still in the ICU from severe high blood pressure. The less stress on me the better as any stress increased my blood pressure ten fold. I came back to the hospital two weeks later to repeat the test. I had prayed beforehand and assumed everything would be fine. She failed. I cried. The waiting game began.

We were referred to an audiologist for a more thorough hearing test. When we arrived when my sweet pea was a month old, the audiologist told me the test would take quite a while for all the measurements. As in, I would hold her to keep her still and we would sit there for at least over an hour. I was terrified. I held my sweet little girl and prayed to God and pleaded with him to take my hearing if needed so she could hear with both of her little ears. The audiologist told us to keep her still and fearful that any movement would skew the test, I sat there praying, holding back tears and I didn't move a muscle. If I could of held my breath the entire time, I would of done that as well. When the test was all over and done with the entire right side of my body was numb and completely asleep. Thankfully, the ABR bone test showed that she wasn't deaf. Praise God! It was concluded at the end of the visit that she wasn't getting sound through her ear canal and they weren't sure if it was fluid or something else. The next step was to continue getting measurements for the next three months to conclude she still has a problem as they said perhaps the problem would resolve itself. Again, the waiting game. I had no idea if the bones in her fragile little ear were set right or if she had fluid or something else was wrong. It was the unknown that was terrifying. I couldn't help but worry and I retreated back into my little place of worry and told practically no one.

Three more tests over four and a half months concluded the same thing, she had some sort of hearing deficiency. We were then referred to an ENT to put tubes in her ears. We did. I sat there as my little six month old got carried away by some wonderful nurses and once again held my breath. She was so little, so sweet and so smiley. I hated knowing that she trusted me and they would put her under anesthesia. I also knew it was the best thing I could do for her. I feared so much during those ten minutes I was away from her. What if this didn't fix it? What if she has a delay like her brother because of hearing? The unknowns can make any parent go crazy.

Today we went in for her post tube audiology appointment. I waited again, holding my breath, praying so hard for this little, beautiful angel that was smiling back at me during her exam. The audiologist saw my worry and reassured me the Princess has one good ear. I am thankful for that but of course I want two good ears. After what seemingly felt like forever, she passed. My baby finally passed after eight months of waiting. I held back tears, kissing my little girl. She had no idea the worry her parents had. She had no idea the countless prayers, tears, conversations with God (more like pleading) and reassured hugs I needed from my husband.

I am so thankful that my princess can hear and hopefully this is the end of her ear troubles. Unless something else comes up with infections, language issues, etc., I won't have to see the audiologist again. I feel for any parent waiting on anything that gives them worry over their child. Its the unknown that just sucks. My prayers are with those parents who are waiting on answers. God bless you.

Kindergarten

2011-11-14T21:36:00.003-05:00

I'm going to be a mess on Pre-K graduation day and the first day my son goes to Kindergarten. Why? My son isn't attending Kindergarten for another ten months and yet at one of my parents meetings that I attended today for rising Kindergarteners, I started tearing up like crazy. I had to stop the ugly cry with ever fiber I had. I had to think of spiderman, yucky boogers and coming up with formulas for excel spreadsheets. It was about to get ugly and I wasn't about to let a bunch of school psychologists, PAC teachers, counselors, etc., have some of their first impressions of me as a emotional mother. I just can't believe how fast time has flown and how in a few short months, my little guy will be going to big kid school and what a journey it has been to get to this point.

I'm proud of my boy. He's loving, outgoing, sweet, compassionate and so energetic . My son has also achieved great lengths as he has a bit of a development delay. His speech impaired a lot of things and we've struggled through parts of it. We've had the downs with lack of compassion from people that dislike us because of it (I still don't understand that), had to put off teaching Russian to him and every new lesson tends to be a bit harder to teach him because of communication. However, our struggles have had their positives in that we got services to help him, bonded together as a family and learned more from this experience in appreciating the small things much more then we would have had it been smooth the entire way through. He has come so far in learning how to talk and will be shortly coming to a new cross roads where he'll be entering a new arena in life. I worry for him. Not only because of the huge change going from a preschool setting to elementary setting, but also because of his communication delay.

I have done everything I could think of to help give him the tools to succeed in preschool. I think of all sorts of games to help him learn the lessons he needs to know such as numbers, the alphabet, writing, etc., His preschool teacher and his developmental teacher praise me quite often for the creative ways I teach my son the things he needs to learn for school and how often I ask questions and communicate with them on a regular basis. I make a point to talk to both the teachers in his class each day to see how he is doing, where I can help him on and what his accomplishments are. I obviously want to work on the things he is struggling with but also congratulate him on the things he has done well. Nothing pleases my little Zaichik more than to hear his Mom tell him, "good job buddy".

I also pray. I know you must use the tools in life that God provides you, but I have a lot of conversations with God. I have conversations where I thank him for giving me such a healthy, beautiful boy and thankful for the fact he's learned how to sound out a new syllable to the alphabet or finally achieved writing a legible "N". I also pray for guidance and for my son to achieve his set goals before he enters the doors of Kindergarten next Fall. Being a Mom and being how I am, I worry constantly. I want so much for him.

This blog has been a bit all over the place, but in true form as my emotions with my son are high. He and his sister are my world. Everything I do (minus pooing), I do for my family. I want so much for all of them. I want them to achieve their goals, be happy, love and be well rounded. I also want time to slow down a bit because this little person has grown from an infant, to a toddler and now kid all too quickly. I'll miss scooping him up early on the days I can get out of work because it just won't be as easy to swing by and get him. I know I'll cry when my son goes to school. I know he'll do great. I have faith in him, his school and God's guidance. I'll just need to remember to hold of mascara that day.

Home Projects

2011-11-13T22:00:00.002-05:00

When it comes to house projects I've been in the "meh" phase for years. I don't know why. I guess I got burned out doing interior design projects while I was in school. I loved the creative aspect to design, but between the bitches and la-de-da of it all I was over it. I flat out didn't care. As long as it wasn't sequenced or neon colors, I didn't care what went on with my home for the most part. Thankfully my husband has good taste and I had glimmers of design wants here and there. I just finally had an awakening to what I want to do with my home. It has been seven years...

This weekend my husband and I picked out paint colors for the main floor of our house. Granted we...I mean he has painted various bathrooms and kid rooms in our house but our main floor has never been painted. We have been living in this house for four years and have been staring at white walls this entire time. It looked like hell. We both finally caved and decided to go for it.

I have about zero painting experience. I started off by myself by painting around all the framing and molding around my baseboard/ceiling. I loved it. Not only was my house starting to look better with each little paint stroke, but in some way it was also therapeutic. Don't get me wrong. I'm not about to attend painting parties any time soon, but just doing my thing, in my bra and sweat pants was relaxing. Seeing the end result of my hallway, now a glimmering shade of green has increased my motivation to a new high. I have thoughts, outlines in my head. I have a flow of how I want things to go. I want to get organized. Not on a nesting level of cleanliness or organization, but more so for design.

I'm excited for more projects. I want to get through painting the rest of my main floor, but I can't wait to change things up a little. I need money...don't we all, but I have tremendous plans now. Time to start flipping through magazines and starting some boards on pintrest!

Old and New

2011-11-08T20:39:00.004-05:00

Not our actual church. Visual representation
of a Byzantine Wooden church in Eastern Europe

This weekend will be the last weekend the usual Sunday liturgy will be said in our church. We have a new church that is almost completely built, which is a fantastic achievement especially with a rite so small as ours.. However watching this take place is somewhat bitter sweet.

The old church will remain for daily liturgies or for other liturgies as seen fit by our Pastor. Nothing will happen to it. The structure will stay there. Things will just change. Its strange really that I don't know when I'll be in this small church again. Its my church. The church where I spent many Sundays being dragged to it as a child and actually found my spirituality in as an adult. The church where I said my vows to my husband and where our two babies were baptized, confirmed and given first holy communion to. It almost seems like one door is closing, but really we're blessed. I just feel a tad conflicted. Is that silly of me?

I love the new church in what it means. It means our church is thriving. How many of you in your life time have seen your church (your existing church) being built? The new church is so beautifully decorated like many of the old Byzantine churches in Eastern Europe. The three domes (representing the Trinity) is a truly powerful representation for any church goers or people passing by. I can easily say, I haven't seen a Byzantine church like it. Its build from tradition separating itself from what was once imposed on Byzantines by the Romans. What I also love most about it, our Pastor is letting no one in until the Bishop opens the door for the first liturgy. How beautifully remarkable is that? Can I say I'm kind of glad that no church busy body thinks they have a right to see it before the other faithful? Just sayin.

I know I'll love this new church and make memories there. Its where I'll pray for my babies and have conversations with God. I just think it has to grow on me a little. I'm used to the old ways. I am grateful that our old church is remaining. I never thought I would think this 15 years ago, but my heart would break seeing anything happen to our little, humble church. I just can not wait until I see the inside of the new one. I can only imagine how beautiful it will be. I am looking forward to seeing Icon Screen and the Deacon door, a item my Family bought in order to honor my Dad. I'm ancy, but ready or not I'll be seeing it in less than two weeks!

Time

2011-10-23T21:19:00.002-04:00

Lately time seems to be at high speed. There is never enough time for this or that and it seems like since the birth of my daughter that we've been on this fast forward motion for months. Not sure if its because there is an activity just about every weekend or just the juggle of two kids, work, home and couple life or what. It has been insane!

I love being a Mom of two kids. I can handle the work load fine enough. My house is never spotless, but thats how the world is with small kids. I'd rather spend the time with them then sweeping up every little crumb. I've made a lot of time with both of them and found that its important to take time with each of them separately. My son really transitioned well into having another person take over part of his parents attention. Knock on wood, but I haven't seen any jealousy from him since his sister has entered our world. We also make a point on taking him out with us and making little dates rather it be something small like going to a grocery store or hitting up a theme park or visiting a farm with just him. My daughter is young but we do things just with her as well, especially if the other parent has the other kid. We may also go to the store or just hang out one on one on the floor playing with her. I think this is important to do with the kids. It gives them that family time but also build relationships individually without the entire family around. These trips are great and I love them, but they go so fast!

I also have put a lot more emphasis on my marriage. I love my husband. He means the world to me and I don't know any man that does the things he does in terms of housing projects, cleaning, cooking, kid stuff, etc., He just is amazing. I had to learn to be okay with leaving my baby other than just going to work though. It was tough, but I did it. I did tear up and call a million times to her Grandparents, but I survived. I find the importance of having alone time even with the Mom guilt is well worth it. I know one of these days my kids will grow up and move on to their own thing and I want to still know and have a great relationship with my husband as a couple. I don't want to know him just as my team mate in concurring day to day parent activities. We're both more than that even if its the most important job we will both ever have.

Work is work. The job I have now is actually one of the best jobs I have ever had. I work a lot though. Yes I may be late...a lot, but it doesn't stop me from working evenings and even weekends on different tasks or catching up on email. I need to stop being a bit late and stop working after my kids are in bed. I should have my own "me time". I recently read an article saying that working Mothers will have less Mom guilt and have more appreciation of down time if they put the damn blackberry away. I don't have the blackberry but I completely understand what they're saying. I like my job a lot. I just don't live to work. I work in order to live.

Time is just speeding so quickly with all of the activities we're into. I just wish it would slow down. I just wish there was a way to speed up the work days and slow down the family/kid/couple time. I am so thankful and so blessed to have my family. I want to soak up all the time that I have with them. Love you G family!

Romance Changes...or has it?

2011-07-21T14:08:00.002-04:00

The other day I ran across a hand written note in my wallet that my husband gave me in 2005. Yes, I have had my wallet that long. It was written a year before we got married, while we were still dating. It was a beautifully written note with an outpouring of love and adoration my husband (then boyfriend) felt about me. Reading the letter made my heart smile. I remember those days. The days of chasing, sneaking phone calls, long hand written notes, lots of dates and fawning over each other. I thought about it for a moment how I wouldn't mind going back to those days for just a little while to appreciate our lone dates and our lack of responsibilities. I wondered if our romance has died a bit as well. Then I thought about it some more and although it has curtailed a bit, its still quite alive.

I remember my husband, my stone faced Russian man singing The Wedding Singer song that I embedded above when we were dating and how I wished all of that to be true someday. It did ring true. He has done that and more for me. I can't tell you how many times he's done the silliest of things to make me smile and how quiet he is on a lot of things but is absolutely hilarious. He has taken care of me on my sickest of days by protecting me from stress and going out during any hour of the day to get medicine for me. The man has fixed our A/C countless of times and made fires in the fireplace whenever I asked just because I was cold. He has given up his coat, socks, and even the shirt off his back when I've needed it and despite my girly request for television that he dubbed boring, he'll sit there and watch it with me. He's no stranger to the kitchen either by cooking lots of yummy meals and doing the dishes without me nagging. I'm no drinker but the times I've had a little more then one drink (which is all it takes to get me drunk) he's taken care of me.

In his letter he wrote in 2005, he promised me a life of love and family which he has given me. I don't care about being rich or having material things. It never mattered to me. I wanted a life where I was in a comfy home, had children surrounding me and a husband that truly loved me. I have it. He's given to me what he promised. We're still romantic in the teenage sense. We don't chase each other since thats a bit hard to do while we're living in the same house, but he does make sure I'm okay where ever I am. We do still sneak phone calls during the day while we're at work. We write multiple emails a day to each other about random things going on in our lives, at work and sometimes to say sorry for being grumpy that morning. We aren't all over each other 24/7 but we still take time for us. We still have awesome make out sessions like teenagers. I still smack his butt while he's walking by from time to time. I still love gazing at him until he asks ,"WHAT???". I love his smell, the way he holds my hand and the way he looks at me with those beautiful green eyes.

Romances changes a bit when you get older, have kids, and responsibilities. It doesn't mean that it dies , at least not if you let it. You have to see it differently I think. Sometimes the random installation of a light or helping you out with a project is just away of him telling you he loves you. It doesn't have to be hand written cards, jewelry and flowers. Love, mature love is more then that. Its figuring out how each others ticks and what we need in life and helping each other with that. It isn't about trying to be something we aren't or trying to fit in with hallmark definition of love. Love is just being there for one another and knowing that in life its you and him against the world.

A Mom Is

2011-07-01T22:18:00.004-04:00

A Mom Is:

Living for the first months of your child's life never having a clean shirt on.
After meticulously cleaning everything, you look behind you and everything just about has been undone.
Rushing out after a hard day of work just to start an even harder job so you can see smiling faces.
Having a stash of secret sweets just for you
Knowing what love at first sight really means.
Coming to grips that the body you used to complain about before birth actually was quite nice and that you probably won't ever get that body back. Furthermore, you don't care as much because having a perfect body just isn't as important anymore.
Your money becomes the kids money and in most cases you enjoy spending that money on them more then you would ever enjoy spending it on yourself.
Knowing what true sacrifice is
You slap yourself upside the head when you think back about how you "knew everything" about parenting before you had kids.
You appreciate your parents more.
You learn how something in your life to do's has to give and usually its your house.
Sleeping late is 8am.
Eating out at restaurants gives a whole new meaning to being a talented multi tasker; eating, while feeding a baby, wrangling a child from running away and holding a conversation with your husband all at once.
Appreciating conversation and a quiet meal.
Loving something more then you love yourself
Answering a million "why" questions a day.
Boogers, poop, pee and vomit are not as gross. It is still disturbing but not as grossly surprising as it once was.
Getting up half a dozen times from the dinner table before you actually put the first bite of food in your mouth
You no longer have a first name. You are now so and so's Mom.
Once you think you've hit your most embarrassing moment, your kid will top it ten fold.
You appreciate the imagination and innocence of a child's mind first hand.
You learn the power of what a mad Mama bear possesses.
Reliving part of your childhood by getting out old favorite toys, watching old favorite kid shows and getting toys for your kids that you wish you had when you were young.
Having zero time for idiotic people that don't forgive or hold grudges. Really? Yeah, I don't care.
Catching yourself Mommying others...even adults.
Quickly learning bathroom activities are no longer private.
Staying out late is 11pm.
Learning who your true friends are.
Discovering there is a whole new level of tired.
Finding an excuse to color again and realize how therapeutic it is.
Knowing that running errands takes twice as long.
Seeing all babies are miracles
Finding your voice if you didn't have one before you had kids.
Having deeper empathy and greater understanding of the kind of pain parents go through that have lost their children
Being able to recite several of your child's favorite shows by heart.
Catching yourself singing or humming theme songs to various shows like Elmos World, Little Einstein, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Imagination Movers.
Realizing your child is the most hilarious comedian you know.
Discovering a child become mobile way too fast.
Realizing God has one heck of a sense of humor.

Where I should be

2011-07-01T22:07:00.003-04:00

Today, just as I started to feel better about my contributions to working and all that jazz, I had another moment of clarity. Another moment where I feel like I am not where I should be.

I was on my way to my free lunch with my co-workers. We were having an adult conversation, going to eat an adult lunch and actually have silence in between conversation. I usually welcome that. Hell, that kind of lunch is a treat for me...or at least I thought it was. The saying goes, there is never a thing such as a free lunch.

It wasn't until we passed a day care with children playing outside that I wished I was on my way to get my son so we could play at the various playgrounds we go to. I saw a Mom nearby pushing her two children in a stroller and wish, just WISH I could be doing the same thing. I no longer wanted my quiet, peaceful adult lunch. It was costing me time and energy away from those I love more then life itself.

It is simple really. Not simple minded as some who are pretty simple minded themselves would think. I don't belong where I am at. I'm intelligent enough to train myself, do my best with tech talk and have my boss praise my accomplishments and dedication. I just feel lost. I don't feel genuine. I feel like I am lying to myself every day pretending that doing what I am doing is okay and its not okay.

I know parents who need to go to work and who love to work. Its just who they are and I don't think anything bad about it. Its what works in their family. However I'm the opposite. I'd rather work the harder job being home with the kids. Not missing the bit of pieces they experience throughout the day. I just painfully miss my children. every.single.day.

I'll continue to work hard at what I do. Thats a given. My job right now is to go outside the home. I know its something I must do and I work hard at being an awesome employee. I just wish I wasn't kicking and screaming inside while doing it.

Back To Work

2011-06-19T21:26:00.002-04:00

Once I had my daughter, I stopped needing/wanting/asking what date it was. I sort of knew for when my daughter was this week or that month, but mostly I was too busy to care, didn't need to know or didn't want to know. Being a stay at home Mom was nothing but pure joy for me. I can honestly say I have never in my life been busier but I've also never been more content. There was trial and error. There were days when it was hectic, but at the end of the day I was where I wanted to be. I was a stay at home Mom. I just wish I could say that my gig was permanent. This is why I didn't care to know the date some of the time, especially when I knew the weeks, days and minutes was looming closer and closer to when I was going to have to go back to work.

I have nothing against my job. I find it challenging, my co-workers are wonderful, the company itself is the best company I have EVER worked at and the commute wasn't even that bad. All in all, because I have to work at this point in my life the job isn't bad at all. I just felt like I was abandoning my little baby girl and doing something that wasn't 100% me. I was genuinely happy cleaning the house, taking care of a newborn and coming up with fun activities for my son. Some Moms would go crazy doing that day in and day out or feel like they need a greater purpose in something outside the home. It wasn't always sweet smelling roses for me but if you ever felt the feeling that whatever you were doing or where ever you were was perfect for you, you wouldn't want to give that up. I know I'm not the first or the last Mom to feel like this. I just am venting and sympathizing with all moms that goes through this range of emotion.

When I returned to work the first week, I cried. I had some ugly morning cries where I thought I was going crazy. I knew I needed a job to do. I knew that I was given the job that I was at for a reason. It was where I had to be. I knew my daughter would be okay. I knew the teachers she had and the activities she would do (however few because of her age) but it really didn't help. I was and still am in this emotional rut that I keep playing tug of war with. My brain knows that logically I need to work, but my heart aches something awful.

Thankfully I'm able to pull early shifts at my job just to be with my kids earlier. Believe me, I'm not early morning person. I kick ass at whatever I'm doing job wise because that is who I am. However I don't live to work, I work to live. As soon as the clock hits the mark when I can leave, my computer is off and I'm out there almost running to my car to pick up my babies. I am by them as soon as I can. I don't stop at the store for myself. I want nothing but to see the sweet smiling faces of my babies.

I'm going through a crappy phase right now of emotions. I know it will get better as time goes, but the yearning won't. I know where I belong. I know what my dream is. Maybe it isn't big dreams to some, but being with my kids is the best thing I could ever do. I know that in life I'll probably never be rich in terms of a huge house and material things but God has graced me with something more valuable then stuff, I have two beautiful kids. God willing I will have more. I'd always choose children over having that extra designer purse or having monthly pedicures at the salon. Being surrounded by my family is what makes me happy.

So for all Moms out there struggling with what I'm feeling, I get it. I sympathize with it. I wish they had better maternity for our country. I know that going back to work is one of the hardest days ever for some of you. I won't say going back to work will ever be easy no matter how many pictures you print out or how many times you call the day care to check up on your baby(ies). It stinks. The only thing that has gotten me through the hard days is to remind myself I'm a Mommy first and that you're doing what you're doing for your kids. Pray for them during the day. Plan what you'll do with them that day or during the upcoming weekend. Pray for yourself for strength and courage.

Hugs to you all.

Raising Kids

2011-04-19T20:32:00.002-04:00

Earlier today a few of my friends posted a link on Facebook on an article about how parents should not dress their girls to look like tramps. I can't agree more. I can't IMAGINE why any parent would dress their little girls in padded bras, thongs, and clothes that most women wouldn't even feel comfortable in. Sure we all wanted to wear them at some point as kids, but we would never DREAM of asking our parents for them and those kids that did got the "death stare" from their parents. It just didn't happen. But why does it stop there? Sure this article deals more with clothing on girls and what it does to their self esteem and other mental health problems but why not discuss raising kids in general?

I am no perfect Mom in any way, shape or form. I get tired. I get impatient. I get damn right angry some times. However with both my daughter and my son, I am determined to raise them as equal as I possibly can to hopefully be the best people they can be. Sure my son won't try to wear slutty clothing, but will I let him wear a shirt that says, "F-You"? I don't think so. My stance on raising kids is sort of like that old country song, "Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" However, I have no issues with cowboys. I would change that title up a bit to be, "Parents don't let your your kids grow up to be assholes." A little blunt do you think? Well if thats the case, then I got your attention.

I think kids should be themselves. I've raised my son to be his outgoing self. I want him to explore the world he is in. I'm not about to stomp on his personality just because a few parents see him having a little more energy then their kid has. Those are the type of parents where their guidelines are that children should be seen not heard. I have no clue why anyone would want children to act like adults. Children are children. My son is who he is and I'm glad he sees the world with the glass half full mentality and savors as much in as he possibly can. However, like my daughter he will be raised to be sensitive to others, remember his manners in saying, "please and "thank you", ask questions, respect people and love God and family. Hell, he even has started with good old fashion chivalry in opening doors for people. He looks, sees and is learning. He's only three and a half and has more manners then a lot of people I know. He loves to love. He sees people as equals to him. He doesn't pride himself in being bigger or better even though he fancys himself as being spiderman from time to time. He's confident when he knows his space without being arrogant about what he knows. He cares for the people he loves in his own little three year old way. He is the exact person I wish him to be. Sure I wish that he would listen more. He isn't a robot where I can program him to obey my every command. He's a little boy after all.

Maybe my daughter will be quiet. If thats her then thats her. Maybe she'll be as energetic as her brother. I just hope she sleeps a full night like her brother does so I can retain some energy for their energy. I just love his energy though! I hope she sees the world as beautiful without focusing on the evil of what is out there. I wish for her to know as long as she can the innocence of life. I wish for her see and cherish the grace that God has blessed her little family with. She will learn manners and how to conduct herself. Hopefully she'll have fantastic confidence without relying on what is just beautiful but recognize that being smart is important too. I wish for her to feel comfortable without being arrogant. I wish for both her and her brother to look at their parents as a model in what a healthy, loving relationship is. I want the world for my kids but know the simplicity of life.

I want my kids to see and look at people as equals. Not to pride themselves too much but to have empathy for those around them. I want them to help people when they can whether it be a mother struggling to open the door while holding a screaming baby or letting a friend cry on their shoulder. I will not allow them to wear slutty or offensive clothing. They can wear green trench coats if they want (I sure did), but will be taught to not allow their clothing define them but let who they are shine out on the beautiful people they are. My wish as a Mom is not only to someday see my kids fly on their own, but raise them to be confident, loving, respectful, empathetic, happy, energetic individuals that love their God, family and friends. I'm not raising assholes here. I'm raising good, loving people.

Here I Am

2011-04-18T21:04:00.002-04:00

I took a break for obvious reasons. Having a baby kind of takes up a bit of time and what time you do have free, the three year old takes up. Being a Mom of two little bits is fun, exhausting, humbling, interesting, awesome, and did I say tiring?

My little girl is pretty amazing. She's a fantastic baby. I hardly hear a peep from her and her complaints are so quiet! She sleeps four hours at a time in between feedings, but takes an HOUR to eat a single bottle. Her Aunt used to do the same thing as a baby. I am guessing using the family middle name (also Auntie's middle name) as her middle name pretty much jinxed her to be a slow eater which is fine since thats the only thing I can really complain about, which isn't much of a complaint. In any case, I'd rather her take her time vs. spit up like crazy like her brother used to because he would slug down a bottle like a veteran frat boy at a beer guzzling contest.

I can already tell her personality is so different then her brothers. I knew this when she was in the womb. She is TEN times more quiet then her brother ever was. She complains only when truly necessary, but when she needs to speak up she certainly makes her presence known. When my son was her age, he was just more active. He was more impatient. When he wanted a bottle, he wanted it NOW.

The juggling bit is more difficult. I really don't venture out on my own. Three year olds are not the easiest to go out with even when they are the only kid and I am just starting to feel good again. We have made it to day care, a store and to other various small outings. Thankfully the big brother is pretty amazing about helping me at home. He really is thoughtful and looks after his sister. He's also EXTREMELY protective. He has to know where his sister is and who is holding her. He makes sure to remind us when his sister is starting to fuss that she may need a bottle, need a change or a paci. He reminds his parents to pat his sister on her back after her feedings so we'll burp her well. He also is pretty amazing at getting his Mom or Dad certain things like new diapers, pacifiers or burp cloths.

On most days I'm busy. I'm always making food for somebody or doing some other activity. I am constantly making sure my son feels included with everything and keeping him busy. I even have him going to preschool for a few hours a few times a week so he gets play time, learning time, socialization and his speech therapy. I know its good for him. Its not always easy getting out of the house for pick ups (my husband drops off) but I know keeping his routine before I go back to work, learning with his peers, receiving his therapy and play time is great for him.

I love this new phase in my life. Its amazing really. Its the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm beyond exhausted. I dream of full nights sleep, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. The love in our house has multiplied. I thought my heart was full with my son and husband, but adding to it only makes your heart grow larger and even fuller. I see another side to my husband that I have never seen before. When his son entered the world, he wanted to shout to the roof tops he had a little boy. Imagine the beginning of The Lion King when Raftki held up Simba for the entire kingdom to admire. That is how my husband was. He had HIS legacy. You couldn't find a more proud Dad. With the birth of his daughter he is a lot more humble in his pride. He holds her closer, has grown softer and is already much more protective. It is just fascinating to watch that scenario. With two protective guys in our house, I find it amusing the tough time guys will have when my daughter is old enough to date.

I love my family. I am overjoyed, excited and beyond content. I could not thank God enough for my blessings. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for all of us.

Nesting...At A Whole New Level

2011-02-21T21:01:00.002-05:00

Today was a work holiday for me. I just love three day weekends! Unfortunately some plans had to change since my Zaichik was running a fever. He wanted some hugs here and there, but mainly just wanted to be left alone to veg out and watch movies. I figure this was the time to catch up and do some house work.

Last night when I went to bed with crappy cramps/contractions, I was not happy with the state of my house. Sure it can't be perfect. I am certainly not expecting it to be with a kid living in it or me just being in the house. We make messes. I don't have Martha Stewarts house. I have the "lived in" feel. As much as I accept that, I told myself I do not want to come home to a dirty house when I bring my daughter home. I need things neat. My husband cleans up and does a lot, but my pickiness wants it a certain way.

I cleaned for a total of four hours.

I got up before my husband this morning and when he woke up, he found his very pregnant wife on all fours spraying the base boards in my hallway. I don't surprise my husband much. He's quite nonchalant with just about...everything. However he stopped dead in his tracks once he saw me, his eyes widened and asked me WHAT the heck I was doing. The baseboards were dusty/dirty. It needed to be done. He left me to my own vices because we just work like that. Once either of us is on a mission, we just let the other be and on occasion ask if we can help each other out. He certainly did help out, which was awesome as it saved my back. My son even chipped in because you just can't vacuum a house without him participating in the event. Before nap time, I had the entire main floor picked up, two levels swept, swiffered and vaccuumed, three bathrooms cleaned from head to toe, baseboards wiped off, and the kitchen deep cleaned. I was a pregnant woman on a mission. I mostly succeeded.

I had to stop. Seriously, my back and my daughter were telling me ENOUGH ALREADY.

I relish that nap time still exist in my house. My son and I needed it. It was glorious two hours of much needed rest.

The count down is here. Time is flying by. 35 weeks today and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I want her to be healthy, but for the most part I'm ready whenever she is. My house is officially clean....for now.

From 1 to 2

2011-01-27T16:59:00.004-05:00

In a matter of weeks, I'll be going from one kid to two. I can't imagine it really. Having our lives completely changed forever. I can't believe I'll be learning how to juggle a whole new set of responsibilities, daily routine, etc., I am SO excited for it. I admit though I am a little nervous thinking about the impending labor, healing, etc., I just wonder how it really will be going from one to two.

Right now I'm savoring my time with just my son. It won't be like we won't ever have Mommy and son time ever again, but it will be different. I know that. I'm taking more naps with him lately, going to bed early and allowing him to sleep for a little while with me (though most nights it is necessary for me) and doing other things that will come a bit harder once the baby comes. I do plan on having Mommy son dates and doing things with just him in the same way I plan to have Mommy daughter time. I want each kid to not only bond as a family, but to have quality alone time with both my husband and I. I just believe that is important.

I am told and I think some great bit of advice is to keep going with the older child's schedule. I remember how much my son's schedule changed constantly when he was baby. My son now has a pretty set role of routines. He goes to bed at the same time every night (with some exceptions), eats dinner around the same time, has activities around the same time, etc.,. I also budgeted and scheduled day care for a couple hours in the morning three days a week so not only does he keep going with his lesson plans, speech therapy, play time with peers, etc., but as day care is a constant in his life, I want to keep that going. I also don't want to give him a huge shock when Mommy goes back to work full time. I'm not overly regimented where I can't be flexible in his routine, but for him it gives him expectations on what will happen every day. I want him to feel secure with what is going on and I believe this will certainly help. My kids are first above EVERYTHING in my life.

I'm also getting more and more nervous about labor. I watch those baby shoes on TLC and will usually fast forward through the labor/delivery party. I guess I'm in denial? I know it will be not the most comfortable time period in my life. I'm looking ahead knowing at the end I'll have a beautiful, (God willing) healthy, little girl. I just wonder what it will be like. How different will it be? Will I have excruciating back labor again? Will I have to push as long? How long will it take to heal? How will I juggle healing vs. taking care of a toddler? All these questions will come to light soon enough, but it does make me a little ancy. I know we'll be fine. My husband is a WONDERFULLY supportive with whatever I need. I just fear a bit of the unknown. I think every pregnant Mom does. I just hope to GOD that since I plan on working until D-Day, that my water does not break at work.

I know I'll figure it out. It will be amazing meeting and bonding with my little girl. I can't wait to see my husbands face when he sees his little girl. I can't wait to see my son's reaction when he meets his sister! I just can't believe that in matter of eight weeks (give or take) that she will be here. It will certainly be another beautiful journey that my family and I have the privilege of taking together. I can't wait to meet you princess!

Holidays

2011-01-17T14:25:00.003-05:00

For the past three government holidays, I have been thoroughly enjoying my time off. I usually enjoyed a day off here or there, but I am finally able to appreciate it and not feel guilty for having a day off. Why do you ask? I get paid. I haven't been paid any holiday, vacation or sick pay in two and a half years and I certainly have a new appreciation of it. It has finally given me the ability to REALLY relax.

As I've said I am more relaxed now on my time off. I'm not thinking that the next pay check is going to look like crud or maybe I should work through this holiday if it is allowable. I can sit back, get tasks done in my house and really enjoy my family time without having that impending guilt in the back of my head. I overall feel more motivated and getting an extra day off to rest or work between rest is wonderful. I also can't say enough how much I've enjoyed my time off with my husband and son. It bonds us closer as a family. Having an extra day to recoop is awesome and my son really loves having more Mommy/Daddy time.

My son is a pretty happy kid. He loves to sing, play, dance, etc., He's one of those kids that is game for pretty much everything minus boat rides(at least for now) and things that require high heights. Overall that really doesn't put a damper on our usual outings or going here or there. He loves to bum and he loves to stay at home. If he gets in trouble or upset, he generally gets over it fairly quickly. He just is a smiley kid overall. Today he told me with a beautiful, cheesey grin, "Mom, I have a smile face today." Meaning he's just having a terrific day! We haven't done anything special or bought anything special for him. He's just enjoying his time hanging out with his family and doing things here and there with us. He's been super helpful today and overall has just been a great listener! I smiled and told him I was glad and that I'm having a fantastic day with him too. He was so happy and proud of himself that he wrapped his little arms around me and gave me a gigantic kiss. Man I love that kid. Had it not been for the holiday, I would of missed that.

I'm just thankful for paid holiday. Relaxing holidays. Holidays spent with my family where I can fully appreciate a day off. Its nice knowing you're getting paid so you can help your family. It is why I work! I certainly do not work for pleasure. As I've heard from many people over the years, including a recent Division Chief that gave his going out retirement speech, "No one ever says at the end of their days that they wish they spent more time in the office." Its the simple things like your kid saying awesome things or getting an extra kiss that make holidays even more amazing.

Thanks kid. I've really enjoyed my day with you too. You're pretty amazing!!!

Joe Bug

2011-01-11T19:34:00.001-05:00

Today my younger dog Joey (aka Joe Bug) turns eleven. While I knew he was again up there in years (not by his account but more or less knowing that I’m older), I was surprised after doing the math to figure out he’s certainly up there in years!

I got my dog Joey as a persistent plea to my Mom and Dad that my other dog needed a companion. My dog Pepsi, who I had for fifteen years, had passed and my other dog Lucas was left all alone. I think dogs as well as people certainly get along better with having someone else around them. I know my Lucas had me, but as any dog owner that has two or more dogs knows, there is a bond between animals (so long as they like each other) that you just can not give them.

I don’t know why or how I got my mom to give in, but I got Joey in early March of 2000 when I was just finishing up my senior year of high school.. He came from a little puppy store and I found him chewing up newspaper shreds in the corner. His little black nose and soulful black eyes melted my heart instantly. Once I brought him home, I was unsure what Lucas would think of him. Lucas was certainly MY dog through and through. He loved other people, but at the end of the day, he was always by my side. I didn’t want him to feel replaced or dislike my little Joe bug. I was delighted to see after a quick sniff of an introduction, both dogs took off running in a playful game down the hall. They were instant friends.

I got Joey as a young teenager. I was just finishing up my Senior year of high school when I got him. He grew into a long legged dog with a mind of his own. I say this because even though he is the younger dog, he is very much the alpha dog as Lucas just wants to follow and be
loved. Joey calls the shots, tries to sneak in extra treats, etc., He's the one that tells my husband or I when he and Lucas need to go to the tree or to freaking fill up his water bowl again already as he just drank it all and wants more. He barks louder, is the tallest dog and certainly is all boy.

My Joe bug certainly has been a wonderful addition to my life. He has his little quirks about him, but I know he makes sure everyone is where they should be and loves his family (well really mainly my husband and I as my toddler is a bit rough with him at times). He also puts up with a lot of crud from my son. Just this morning Joey was greeted with a birthday morning hug and my son trying to put his pants on him because he thought he needed them. Poor dog. He puts up
with so much, but he’s a good sport.

Happy Birthday Joe Bug. I love you pupperoni : )

What Were Your Proudest Achievements in 2010?

2010-12-31T18:07:00.001-05:00

On one of my facebook pages that I like give me frequent updates from Parents.com. I like it as it gives interesting perspective of thoughts of other Moms, updates about recalls and questions to its audience. One question it asked today was, what was your proudest achievementin 2010? For me, I can not narrow it down to one. I actually have a few, so here is my little list:

1) Speech Therapy: As noted in the previous post, my husband and I researched, discovered and got the aide my son needed for his speech development. It took a long time with meetings, board approvals, testing, etc., but he is now getting the therapy he needs and will have it until he doesn’t require it any longer. Getting speech therapy for my son has improved his life and hearing his little thoughts and questions because of all the progress he has made is beyond wonderful.

2) My Girl: I obviously didn’t care what I was having because this could have been easily an accomplishment about my second son, but becoming pregnant with my girl certainly is a achievement. It is beyond amazing. Beyond wonderful. It is truly a blessing.

3) Car PAID Off: It doesn’t go without saying that not having TWO car payments is a wonderful thing. I worked like crazy to get that sucker paid off. It took a lot of budgeting, a lot of cut backs on other things I wanted to blow my money on and I did it. I set a goal for myself and I accomplished it.

4) Debt Reduction: To me this is separate from my car. My husband and I are team mates in whatever we do in life and we have a plan in action for paying off debt, saving money for a rainy day and putting more money into college for BOTH kids. We are doing awesome with our
set goals with a little bit of scrimping and budgeting here and there. My girl isn’t born yet, but she already has a stash saved away for college until I am able to open a 529 account for her. My children WILL go to college. They can hold off their education if they make it into a professional league of some sort, which is a million to one (okay maybe less). So if they achieve that then they have my permission to withhold their education for a little while. Otherwise, they are all going to benefit from their parents paying for their education.

5) Loving God at a Deeper Level: This year I had A LOT of conversations with God. There were many times this year when I knelt down to cry and pray for encouragement and courage and there were times when I couldn’t thank him enough for all the blessings in my life. I am remembering more so every day to stop and think of God, sometimes multiple times a day and thank him for even the smallest of blessings.

So there you have it my year wrapped up in my five greatest achievements?

What is your proudest achievement(s) for 2010?

Blissful Days

2010-12-29T19:16:00.002-05:00

As Moms we have a lot of weird, crazy and some even bad days. Regardless if you stay at home or go to work there is a constant juggle in the house, especially with little kids on maintaining
somewhat of a schedule, making sure your house doesn’t get destroyed (easier said than done) and striving to have some great quality time. Every day is of course different. There are days where your kid doesn’t like anything you do and/or doesn’t listen to a damn thing you say. There are days where you have a little less patience. There are also days where your kid decides that they would like to be naked and play in the kitchen sink with your front windows WIDE open (this happened last week…interesting….and very funny). However, there are days where it is pure bliss. Days where everything goes right. You are able to keep a fantastic schedule, patience is aplenty and quality time is at its max. I don’t claim to ever have the perfect life or
perfect family. I DO think they are pretty incredible though and over the last few days it has been a fantastic blissful period.

My Zaichik has really grown in respects to his speech development. He understands better, talks better and I think he’s happier for it. I am so thankful for his progress. The work my husband and I have put in with him, the work his teacher (I LOVE HER) has done with him and the
fantastic work his speech therapist has also done with my boy is really starting to show. It doesn’t go without saying that in my last parent/speech therapist update meeting that I teared up thanking her for everything. She saw the tears in my eyes, teared up too and held my hand for a minute so we both wouldn’t cry! She has not only taught me to help my son more, but has taken the time to teach his teachers how to help him and through her therapy she has improved my son’s life. What does this have to do with bad and blissful days? A lot.

I know my son and I know his tender side. I understand him like I’ve always understood the little being inside of him. It is our connection. He had a period where he couldn’t communicate well. He lashed out due to his inability to communicate to the people around him by biting and hitting. I believe it was due to all the ear infections, because like his Mother, he had plenty of them causing both of us speech delays early in our life. Last year at this exact time frame my son was dismissed from his horrible, wretched school (it was a blessing now that I look back on it as even county school teachers were aghast at the treatment) causing my husband and I to
panic to find care for him as we both work full time. It was a mess. We had so many ups and downs and stresses because of his lack of being able to communicate well. We were ridiculed by people that were close to us and not so close to us and had several (and I mean SEVERAL) nasty, horrible, heartless, cruel comments made about our child. For goodness sake he was a baby! He was just a little two and half year old kid. If you’re a parent and ever faced that, knowing your kid isn’t bad but just frustrated because he needs help, support and love due to a developmental delay because of infections, you know that the Mama bear in each Mother comes out to fight like HELL to protect their cub. My claws came out once or twice and I cried many, many tears for not only my son that was given such a harsh treatment (unbeknown to him), but shocked more
or less due to people’s inability to try to even understand. As parents, my husband and I banded together through the enormous amount of stress we were under (the stress was more imposed by the outside insensitivities of others more so then our son) and got him the help that he needed. It made us stronger. We worked hard getting the help our son needed and deserved.

A year has passed since that time. My son, as I have said, really does well with communicating to us now. It doesn’t go without saying that he does act like a typical three year old little boy. There are times when he doesn’t want to listen or needs to go to time out. I’m not raising a doll, I’m raising a child. He moves, acts and talks on his own will with guidance from his parents and the people that love him. He has the cutest little vocal tone of when he’s jokingly “telling” on his Dad and throws out some pretty hilarious sarcastic comments. Simply put, I’m in awe of our little conversations that we have together and I think have a deeper appreciation then some parents do for their child to be able to verbalize his thoughts, wishes, needs and wants. He has a soft little soul and does well pretty darn well with listening, sharing and treating others with how he wants to be treated. Sometimes you have to explain it a few times, but that goes with parenting. Parenting is a continuous journey of guiding your child(ren) in the right direction.

As I’ve said, my Zaichik has been at his best the past few days. We had an amazing Christmas day. He did so well especially not taking a nap all day and running around with a lot of excitement. I was almost expecting a few outbursts due to all of that, but was pleasantly surprised to not see any of it. He shared his new toys. He listened to directions. He even went to bed (very over tired) without much complaint. The day after Christmas was beautiful. He wanted to be by my side even though it wasn’t my turn to wake up with him, so after breakfast he came back upstairs to snuggle and sleep with me for an hour more until we both got up. He squealed with delight when I took out his wonder paint and his new play dough set and we happily played together for hours. He ate well all day. He didn’t complain at all or whine at all. He even went down for his nap and bed time without the slightest protest or peep. On Monday it was another repeat fantastic day with him after I picked him up when I got out of work. I gave him a bath. He requested politely to have some mac and cheese, which I was fine with since he was so polite about it AND it was just so cold outside we needed something to warm our tummies. He played quietly with me and gave me mounds of kisses and hugs. He even saw a boo boo on my elbow and kissed it just to make it feel better. He just made me incredibly proud and I was really sorry that I had to put him to bed a little after his bed time. Some days you’re done with either your kids behavior or just tired, so bed times are welcome, but really…I was quite sad about it. My blissful days really were wonderful with Zaichik. I hope we have a repeat again today. If not we’ll strive to do that tomorrow. I think all in all he’s a pretty terrific kid and he really does make me proud. I love you my little man.

The End of the Second Trimester

2010-12-27T19:19:00.000-05:00

I love being pregnant. Really, I do. Even through all the nausea I endured the first six weeks of this pregnancy, the weird spurts of back/tail bone pain, and the constant runs to the bathroom, I can honestly say that all that gets pushed aside hearing her heart beat at the doctor’s visits or the constant movement I feel especially when I’m ready to go to bed. It’s a sense of knowing that my baby is okay and for now I can take her along wherever I go and know she’s okay.

This pregnancy has been by far quite different from my first with my son. With my son I had food aversions to random things like onion rings and grapes. I gained weight like crazy, although I’m sure the Breyer’s Chocolate ice cream that I had once a day had NOTHING to do with it. I also had high blood pressure as soon as I started into week 20, but I’m not sure if that was stress of my first pregnancy and my body going “WTH?!!!!!” or being afraid for my Mom as she was enduring quite a lot of medical obstacles during that time period. I also was incredibly swollen. I had cankles people. My ankles were the size of my thighs and no shoe would fit me expect stretchy ballet slippers. I remember how my ankles used to seriously gross out my boss, and he had three kids, so it wasn’t like he was unaware of weird pregnancy side effects. With this pregnancy, I’m not sure if it is because I am carrying a girl or because my body has already done this before but it is just different. As I said earlier, I was nauseous ALL DAY for six
weeks. It was pretty horrible feeling the urge to vomit while driving on a major high way. I learned to have a bag near me just in case. I also do not care at all to eat or even want to smell meat most of time. I also love fruit juices. I have to have them. I crave them. I almost would rather have a smoothie then have my favorite dessert. Another thing that I recently

I know most pregnant women have that crappy 2 am rush to the bathroom (or more), but I literally wake up around 3 AM and I stay awake until it is time to get up. I don’t really appreciate that. I’m tired. I know it is normal and people will say that “it prepares you for having a newborn.” I’m not an expert with all newborns, but from my experience and what I know is that you can at least feed them in the middle of the night (once or twice) and they’ll go back to sleep which means you can go back to sleep. You are certainly sleep deprived, but
you’re not awake for the heck of it.

Through all of the weirdness symptoms of this pregnancy, I really do love it. I am actually surprised how fast this pregnancy has gone by and can’t believe I’ll be entering my last trimester in the New Year. I feel blessed, humble and thankful that despite some rockier days
with feeling bad or sleep deprived that I have this little, beautiful girl growing strong and healthy inside of me. I don’t want this time to pass too fast, but I also can’t wait to meet her. I can’t wait for her Dad to meet her. I can’t wait for my son to finally see his little sister.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2010-12-21T16:35:00.002-05:00

This year really has flown by. It started a little rough with switching my son to a different day care, but in the end it worked out perfectly as my little guy is thriving and making great strides in learning his preschool curriculum and speech development. Our year was certainly full of fantastic highlights as not only is our son doing well and I have a new job, but we will be welcoming a daughter also in the New Year. During this time of year, one really reflects on the importance of family and although my family means just as much to me throughout the year, the holiday season is a wonderful reminder how much family really means to you. Since my family is the purpose for this post, I decided to write a little blurb/reflection on each of them.

My Son:

One thing I would like to reflect on as being important in my family life is that my little guy and I have a routine every night after our prayers and after we bless our usual list/modified list of special prayers, we always thank God for the thing we were able to do or accomplish that day. Sometimes it is meaningful things like thanking God for the health of our family or the wisdom he gave my son to listen to his parents during an important time. Other times it could be a silly thank you like getting macaroni and cheese for dinner or being thankful for play dough. You never know what will pop into the mind of a three year old, but I always love hear his reflections of the day and in my opinion it teaches gratitude for the things we have and to share his love for God. I am so grateful to have these little opportunities and moments with my son. It warms my heart knowing his little thoughts of the day that I don’t think I would hear otherwise.

Just last night my little guy saw a baby on the television and then turned to me and asked if he could hold his sister. He thought about her just because and if you know three year olds, it is special when they think of other people out of the blue and ask you about them. I told him that she should arrive in a few months and with Mommy or Daddy’s help as long as he is gentle and careful, he can most certainly hold her. He was quite thrilled about that. I don’t think he really grasp the whole sister coming to stay and live thing yet though. However, he has such a sweetness in his never ending energy and helpful attitude that him becoming a big brother is something I think he will learn quite well. He’ll obviously have to share attention, but he also likes to make sure things are even in the household, that everyone is where they should be and that if he can help and if asked appropriately, he will respond enthusiastically. He already loves to hang out in his sister’s room and has already helped me with various tasks of cleaning things up, putting things together and even putting her things away. What a great guy.

My little man has the same soul I do. I get who he is with that fire in his eyes and the sweetness of his hugs. I love the little person he is becoming and even though he is hard headed, it shows
determination and independence. I also love that he has his Father in him. He has a confidence in his achievements and honestly doesn’t care what you think of him because he’s just going to be who he is. To me it shows that he will grow into quite an amazing man. He will fight for things he is determined in and show confidence in himself. He will show gratitude for the things he does have in his life and hasa love for God. He already is learning what family means to him as
he is already thoughtful of his sister, Dad and Mom. He loves his Dad and has such a great, unique relationship with him. By leading him through example, I hope he too has a close family of his own someday where he is a loving doting husband and plays an active role in his children’s life. I also hope he comes and visits me a lot when he is grown with his own circus and calls me every so often (I would love every day but I know that can’t always be). I know my days with him being little and holding my hand through movies is quickly fading, but no matter how old he gets, he will always be my baby.

My Daughter:

I have yet to meet you but in some respects I feel like I already know you. Even right now you’re moving about my belly making your little presence known in your Moms busy life. You took a while to get here, but you did and I truly thank God for that. Perhaps you’ll take your time with things in life doing them when you see fit and letting no one rush you.

With the help of your Daddy and brother, we are busy preparing for your arrival. There are so many things to get done such as putting your new crib together, but if you know your Mom, it will all be done way ahead of time. Your brother, even though he is just three, has already helped me put your dresser together and has already helped me put parts of your room together. I know I have already said this before, but I honestly believe God whispered in his ear letting him know who you are and about your arrival. He always knew you were going to be a sister. I can’t wait to see the special bonds you will havewith both of the guys in your life, your Dad and brother. They can be very silly at times, but just know in life that boys are usually silly
and your Mother is here to back you up.

I really hope that you have much of your brother’s personality in being determined, confident and not caring what others think. I think as a woman it is quite difficult to put aside what the world thinks about us or what they think we should do in certain scenarios and just go for what we think is best. I don’t care if you’re athletic, a career woman or a stay at home Mom as I just want you to fulfill your dreams in life and put other peoples judgments aside. You will learn my dear girl that in life there are times you will face harsh judgment from others but just know that judgment is typically lined with their own jealousy. Be your own person. Know yourself. Know how beautiful you really are. Your Mom and Dad will walk through fire for your brother and you. We will always be there to support you and love you both.

My Husband:

Where would my family be without you? You literally fought to have me in your life in the very beginning and through that we grew from being kids into adults together. I know my role in the family is to be the glue that binds us, though you do certainly do your part. However, you are our rock and the love of my life. You have given me what I always wanted, a home and beautiful children. I know we drive you nuts some days, but I know behind that steadfast exterior of yours, your life wouldn’t be complete without all that noise and you would miss it.

I love so many things about you, but I love that you remind me to be strong and that we need our together time as a couple. I think I forget that in all the running around I do, that I need to breathe a little for us. I love that you remember the things I forget. I love that we date often. I love that you do these sweet, thoughtful things for me like putting under cabinet lighting in and the cute, boyish look on your face of contentment and pride when you see my reaction.

I love the way you are with our son. How you are certainly a little bit more of the disciplinarian and remind me to not be such a softie. I love that you have become our son’s personal lounge chair and that no matter how hot you get from a thirty three pound kid on top of you with two blankets and his entourage of bunnies and furry pillows, thatyou’ll stay put. Our son believes you can punch ghosts, monsters, tigers and alligators. You are indeed his hero as much as you are mine. However, I’d rather you not punch or come in counter with those scary things. I think it is beautiful in the fact that our little guy thinks of you, he remembers playing hockey with you in the basement or playing blocks with you in the living room. I also love that you are slowly teaching him how to cook and are patient in showing him how to do new things. I cannot wait to see the type of Dad you will be having a little girl in your life. I already think it is hilarious that you have pointed out some of the things she is NOT allowed to wear when she gets older and that you’re already prepared (if she wants to) to teach her the game of hockey and how to skate. I know there will be some differences in raising a boy and our girl, but I know in most of the aspects in their life you won’t stereotypically divide them in who plays sports and who learns how to cook. I’m grateful that you just know that. I can’t say that all men really realize they hinder their children by not letting them experience things that society thinks girls should do or what boys should do. You will be in fact our children’s greatest male role model in life
and I feel so lucky and so blessed they have such a wonderful man to fulfill that in their lives.

I love you my dear sweet family. You are my world and I’m so grateful to God for blessing me with each of you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my sweet family.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!!!

My Daughter

2010-12-05T12:04:00.011-05:00

Dear Princess,

My sweet little girl, we have already been on such a wonderful journey together. Life keeps your Mommy certainly busy with taking care of your brother and doing day to day things, but you already have made your little presence known by kicks and little flutters. I have yet to formally meet you face to face, but already I'm in love with knowing God is giving me another blessing, you.

I wanted to let you know your Daddy and I choose your name as we both think it is beautifully feminine but also strong. We want to raise our daughter and our son to be strong, independent, intelligent, God loving, people loving and family loving people. Our hopes for you is that you are ultimately happy and healthy. Whatever dreams and goals you have for yourself someday, we'll be behind you 100% lifting you up and supporting as much as we possibly can.

My beautiful daughter, know that you are so very much loved and have been wanted for such a long time. Your Daddy and I spend our evenings with his hand on my belly feeling you kick and move about. We talk about your future, our family outings that we want to attend with you and your Daddy already jokes about what you are NOT allowed to wear.

Your Daddy has such a beautiful, soft heart and I know you'll have him wrapped around your finger in no time. He jokes about the girly things he'll get to do with you and he certainly will have no qualms about doing it either. He also comments on the fact that if his little girl chooses to play hockey, she'll be the one out on the ice with pink laces on her skates. My only fear for you my sweet girl based on my own experience, is to NOT have your Daddy do your hair. Maybe he will learn how to make a pony tail, but just know to leave hair dos to your Mommy until you learn how.

Your brother is so excited about your arrival. I don't know if he knows exactly how much you'll rock his world, but I am so excited to see the type of fun sibling relationship you two will have. I'm sure you'll have your arguments and I am sure you'll have days you'll want to kill each other. However knowing you two will be there for each other warms my heart. He always knew you were a girl from the very beginning. I would ask this little three year old if he was going to have a brother or a sister and he never deviated from his confident answer of "swister". It was as if God whispered in his ear letting him know your of your arrival.

My dear sweet pea, even though it didn't matter if I was having a girl or a boy, having a someone on my team after having an all male household for so long is pretty amazing. I dream of all the things we'll get to do together. I hope that our relationship blooms into the relationship I have with my own Mom. I want you to know that you can always come to me no matter what the subject is and I'll be here for you with a listening ear. I won't always like the things you do, but I will always love you and I will always be here for you. My wish is that you are confident about the girl you are and about the woman you will someday become. Don't ever let anyone decide who you are. You decide that for yourself. You are in charge of paving your own road in life. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Follow your dreams and think with both your heart and your mind.

I love you princess!

Love,

Mommy

The Christmas Calendar

2010-11-30T19:42:00.004-05:00

Growing up my sister and I had a Christmas calendar similar to the one pictured above, except ours was a bit better. Our Mom hand sewn little embroidered ornaments for each of the days of Christmas. I think it was probably one of our favorite Christmas things to do. I remember that my sister ALWAYS got to put the star up the 24th and for years I wondered how she accomplished getting the prize ornament. Obviously older and wiser in being able to do the math certainly worked in her benefit. Usually most of the ornaments were just placed back after the countdown and Christmas season were over. It wasn't until THIS year, my Mom told me about the symbolisms of why certain ornaments were place in certain pockets. Maybe it won't matter to the entire world, but I wanted to share in any case.

Dec 3rd

For this one I had to laugh when my Mom told me the story. She uses the embroidered teddy bear ornament on this day to remember her brother as it is his birthday. The reason WHY she always puts the teddy bear back in this particular pocket was because when he was little, he was a naughty, little boy. My Grandmother was so mad at him one day, she took his bear and beat the crap out of it. She beat it so badly that she had to sew the bear back up. He must of did something spectacular!

Dec 7th

The meaning behind this ornament runs certainly deep with just about every American family. She had embroidered the word "Peace" in delicate gold and silver thread. The particular meaning behind it was, this also happens to be Pearl Harbor Day. A day that rocked the nation and certainly changed her life (my Grandfather fought in World War II) and so many other lives around the world.

Dec 13th

The 13th happens to be my Nagymama's birthday. Growing up, my Nagymama never had a doll. Could you imagine being a little girl and not ever having a doll? When she grew up, her husband bought her very first doll only to have it stolen. Had I known, I would of certainly gotten her loads of dolls. It doesn't make up for it, but I wish I could of shown the gesture any how. For this date, we have a small embroidered doll to remember her by.

Dec 14th

The 14th was my Grandfather's birthday. When he was a little kid, for Christmas he was give a whole dollar. He was sent to by his two brothers, two sisters and himself a Christmas present. Some how he had enough money to buy himself a sled. For this day, my Mom always put the ornament of a little wooden sled to remember one of his own childhood memories.

There are other memories here and there with different decorations around my house. Certain ornaments on my tree remind me of things in the past like a ball with the NYC skyline as it reminds me of visiting NYC with my sister and Mom after 9/11 or an ornament of little squirrels selling hot nuts to remind me of when we visited Morrows Nut Shop in Cleveland. The Nutcrackers share special memories as we would see the play every year when I was a kid. My Moravian tin angels reminds me of Winston-Salem, a place where I spent a lot of my childhood. There are so many memories wrapped up in Christmas and such a wonderful time to celebrate family especially Christ's birth.

Do you have any interesting symbolic things you do for Christmas other then celebrating the obvious meaning of Christ's birth? Do any of your decorations hold a special meaning?

Last Day

2010-11-30T10:20:00.002-05:00

Today marks the last day at my current job. While I knew this day was coming, having to actually go through it is another story. I'm not sad. I think I would of been sad had I not found a job already that I will be starting tomorrow. I just feel WEIRD.

Its odd to think after learning an entire new process, working my tush off creating metrics that NEVER existed before I came (and going years back to collect them) and spending my days helping a contract for the past two years that now it is all coming to an end. Almost like it didn't matter in some ways. I know the work I did was productive. I helped the teams get to where they want to go especially during some more strenuous times. I also learned quite a bit too along the way thanks to a fantastic manager. Closing the door to this period in my life is just...well weird!

I will say that a few people commented how I will have a new "awakening" when I start this new job. Sure I probably won't be working from home as much as I have (or if at all) and will have to put my best foot forward in proving myself once again. However, I know that. I know what to do. I know how to kick ass in a new job. I know that there will be a learning curve, but I'll do it. I know I can. I've done it in the past and obviously have been hired based on credentials and upbeat personality (the hiring manager did say he liked my personality over another candidate).

However for those that work, take this into perspective for a moment. Pretend that you find a new and exciting position which you THINK will be long term. Only to find out that the job you were hired for isn't stable. In fact, another company is suppose to take over and you don't quite know when they will take over or perhaps they may never take over! You just aren't sure. You obviously start looking for a new position as your family depends on your income, but the economy and job market is in the crapper. Jobs, especially in your field, are so much harder to come by. Pretend that you interview for COUNTLESS positions. You have four verbal offers in which you think that you will FINALLY have a stable job but for one reason or another they all fall through. Then finally at the end of a long haul (two years is a LONG, LONG, LONG haul to be looking especially in this area), your luck changes and a new job is presented to you and something that is promising, has growth potential, is a fantastic commute AND actually has benefits! Did I not tell you I never had ANY benefits (no holiday pay, no sick pay, no vacation pay, no 401k) the entire time I was here?

So really my awakening is, that I actually have a job and I appreciate the stability. I like to dig my heels, roll up my sleeves and get into the grime of things. I feel like I can really contribute to a team and also do the best thing I can do for my family in the long term. Having that when you don't have the morale of your team or stability for so long, you certainly learn to appreciate it. I'll actually be paid on holidays (YAY) and won't feel bad knowing I'm not getting paid that day. I'll actually belong to another great company for a contract that does some pretty awesome work. I'm pumped!

As I've sad before, my last day here is a bit weird and awkward, I know that tomorrow will be a whole new start for me. I believe in the power of your own personal hard work, prayer and the will of God that is leading me down this path. I know there are some uncertainties, but there are always a few uncertainties with life. Wish me luck!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T20:30:00.002-05:00

This week is already shaping out to be pretty busy. Tomorrow is my son's school party. Thursday is the obvious Thanksgiving holiday. Then Friday is our annual tradition of watching the Reston Parade and getting a quick meal somewhere in the town center. This holiday also brings up distant memories.

Thanksgiving for me always sparks old memories of how I used to celebrate this holiday. I wrote quite a bit about it in my 2008 blog about Thanksgiving. It reminds me of a bitter sweet time that will never happen again. Gathering at my Nagypapa and Nagymama's little suburban, farm house. The cold crisp air of Cleveland. The smell of hot cashew nuts at the Nut Store downtown. The loud clanging of the moving rappies (aka metro for Clevelanders). No matter how many metros I've rode, none have ever sounded the same as the drive in on the orange line. I miss it.

I am starting to love the new traditions of Thanksgiving. I wish my grandparents were still alive but as much as I want nothing to change, it has. It is nice not having to travel. Its fun starting new traditions with my family. They may change, but as our family grows, it is nice to see everyone including both sets of Grandparents. My son is starting to have a pretty cool friendship with his cousin just like I had with my cousins. I'm looking forward to watching the parade yet again this year and to see my son's reaction with the floats and marching bands. Some traditions will stay the same, the time to be with family, which for this holiday as well as the next means the most.

God I Love Him

2010-11-21T20:09:00.003-05:00

Thankfully this pregnancy has made me more sentimental then going through some crazy mood swings. I'm reflecting a lot. I'm becoming more appreciative in my opinion then reaching out more. I've always been family oriented but feel even a closer bond then I ever imagined possible. My son and soon to be daughter are my world, my little sweet loves, my everything. However I wouldn't be here without my rock, the love of my life, my best friend and my team mate.

My husband is a quiet guy. He can surprise you with the most hilarious and funny things. His little Russian bad ass ways proves he doesn't take crap from anyone. He's blunt with the world and holds nothing back. He's genuine, real and observant. He is patient, calm and nonchalant. He surprises me with so many things from finishing projects around the house to ordering my favorite cheese off the internet as it is not available in stores just because he thought to. He's an honest, true friend and will always lend a helping hand. He loves his family above anything and will fight, protect and take on anyone that tries to hurt us. He is, as I have said before, the best person I have ever known.

This post isn't to talk about this or that event, which lately have been quite amazing in my life. Its another reflection piece to say what is on my mind. People (including myself) tends to look and talk about the negative side to whatever is happening in their life or just not say anything at all. I just want to honor the best friend I have ever had in saying what I truly feel about him. I love you babe. Thank you for everything ; )

New JOB!!!!!

2010-11-17T13:27:00.002-05:00

I got a job! A different position in a different company and I couldn't be more thrilled! I could of wrote about it yesterday, but until I have something in writing, I don't celebrate anything. That may sound a bit odd, but after having four verbal offers in the past two years fall through, I learned to not celebrate anything until you have something in writing and a start date.

I can't rave about this position enough. The commute is great and the entire office is even moving closer to my home starting early next year. The pay is pretty damn nice and the benefits are AMAZING. I will actually be spoiled by actually having paid holidays, vacation and sick leave. This was something I haven't had in two years. Gone are the days that I dread holidays due to lack of pay or feel guilty taking a vacation.

Obviously it was stressful knowing I was losing my job. I was pretty calm about it as I previously wrote because there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't freak out because I'm also carrying a sweet little baby girl and have to think of her. So I made myself calm down. I planned out what could happen if this or that occurred. I had decidedly dug my heels in and was going to wait for the ride to stop. I was prepared for the worst, but prayed and fought for the best. It is wonderful to see hard work, persistence and God leading me down this path.

I could complain to God that I didn't get this until the last minute, but in all actuality I think it made me and my family stronger. In all the jobs I interviewed for and applied for, this was probably the most ideal position I have seen. Regardless of me getting this position right when we're down the wire, I am so damn thankful. I feel like I can finally breathe. I know more or less what is going to happen and I can't believe how much of a tremendous weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders.

Closing Another Chapter

2010-11-16T10:48:00.002-05:00

Today marks the official end to my contract. While I have until the 30th to stick around and see if the other company needs help.....those who are left are all just sitting ducks. It feels a bit weird/awkward/nerve-wracking that really its all over. Sure I thankfully (unless I get some type of other news) get a pay check for a little while longer and I am employed, but after two years of working on my contract, learning the ins and outs, it is all over.

I have been through a huge range of emotions since I heard the news we lost the contract. I went from shock, to a bit mad, to sad, to FREAKING out and then finally I am calm. It really has been an experience. Not an experience I really want to go through again, but its the reality of the contracting world and the area I live in. I've been looking for a job....for a long, long time. WAY before I knew this contract was officially turning over to a new company. The economy stinks. Jobs aren't what they used to be even in this area and despite getting four verbal offers....they all one by one tanked for some reason or another. Before I had a Plan B, the planner part of my personality was literally freaking out at the unknown and what will be next. As I wrote in a previous post, my husband took me aside to tell me to chill out and we'll figure things out.

So I'm calm now. Not ecstatic about not having a job as of yet, but I think God has a plan for everyone. You put your best efforts in doing everything you can for yourself with the tools you have and LORD knows I have tried, and then its up to God's plan. Maybe I'll get this new stellar job that is waiting in the wings or maybe I need to be home for a while for some reason or another. I'm not sure what will happen next, but I have Plan A, Plan B and Plan C thought out. I'll be fine. My family will be fine. As long as we have our health and each other, then I am happy.

"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. "

Indoor Play Places

2010-11-11T12:45:00.004-05:00

Since the weather is getting cooler out and I am getting more pregnant, I was searching the other day for indoor areas to take my son. Low and behold Dulles Moms (seriously facebook friend them) comes up with amazing links to area events, things to do and lately just posted a link to indoor play places! I am so excited to try some of these out!

It's A Girl!

2010-10-28T13:43:00.004-04:00

On Monday October 25th, my husband and I went in to the twenty week ultrasound (even though I was technically 18 weeks) to see our baby, make sure he/she is healthy and to HOPEFULLY find out the gender of the little person growing inside of me. I was so nervous and excited the night before about going to the ultrasound that I barely slept that night and was a bundle of nerves going into the appointment. THANK GOD I scheduled it for 9:30 in the morning. I would be a mess if I had to wait all day.

The technician we had was a very nice lady. I was glad for that because you never know who you may get walking in the door. You could get one negative tech on your hands or someone just having a bad day. She started right away first measuring my cervix, which I could thankfully empty out my bladder once she did those measurements. Next, she called in my husband so we could let the fun begin. If you have ever been pregnant, you know that each and every time you see or hear you baby it is one of the most reassuring sound/sight you will see. I then told the technician my apprehension of my baby being shy and not being able to find out the gender. She gave me a reassuring smile and told me we would find that. It did not matter to me if the baby was a boy or a girl. I didn't dream of having one versus the other. I just wanted a healthy baby and to just know.

She took about a million photos of the baby that day. The heart measured around 150 beats per minute. The baby weighed in at eight ounces. My due date didn't even change (due March 28th). Then we got the big news. She told us, "its a girl!" We were silent for a few seconds. It wasn't a disappointed silence or a angry silence. It was a "Um, what?" silence. Obviously we knew we could have either one but I guess since we have a boy we were kind of shocked/surprised. I smiled. A tear streamed down my face. I was going to have a little girl. My husband smiled at me as our eyes met. Our little Zaichik (our three year old boy) had been right all along. He was going to have a sister. My husband and I joked during the rest of the ultrasound about different things like her playing hockey and that she'd be the cute little girl out there with pink laces on her skates. It was a fun experience and I walked away still a little stunned, but glowing. My baby was healthy and the fear of not being able to find out quickly dissipated into thinking "girl".

The shock of it all is still wearing in even after telling the world what we were having. I think having lived in an all male household with even the dogs being boys is maybe why I'm so perplexed that there will be another female in the house besides me. I don't really distinguish doing girl things vs. boy things with my son, but I know there will be a time when things may change to doing more boy stereotypical things with my son versus girl stereotypical things that I will do with my daughter. Maybe she'll like the American Girl dolls and want to have a girly tea party when she gets a little older. I doubt my son in a few years will really be interested in playing dress up the dollies with Mom and having dainty tea parties. He would always be invited though! I also can't very well dress up my son in little hair bows and ribbons and the same goes for my girl in not being able to dress her up in little old man suits, but she will certainly rock out hockey jerseys! Both will have a lot of similarities in the way of being taught, how to act, etc., I want my girl to be just as independent as my little boy is. I want my boy to know how to do just as many little domesticated duties as my girl will know how to do. I also will encourage sports and academics. In all, I want to raise my children to be healthy, independent, God and people loving, educated individuals.

I'm so excited!!!!

Happy Birthday

2010-10-20T12:28:00.003-04:00

Today my husband turned 29. TWENTY NINE. I'm not trying to make it sound old, but its hard to believe he only has one year left in his twenties!

I met my husband when he was a teenager, which I think is why the whole twenty nine thing is baffling me. When I met him he was cute (still is the cutest man in the world to me), but man did I think he was nothing but trouble! He had such long, curly hair slicked back and looked pretty cute driving his red Dodge Stealth. Mmmmm....boys and red sports cars and their appeal young adolescent girls. I know he saw me when I was a Senior in High School (funny I think his first memory was me kissing another guy while I was dressed in an Army uniform), but I have no memory of him until I was out of high school. It took me a while to care for him, but when I did...I fell hard and fast.

We spent together the last bit of our teenage years together. We met the milestone of turning twenty one together and then finally twenty five when our insurance rates went down. We have spent the better part of the decade together learning from each other through patience, love and understanding. Our marriage has had its crazy outside stresses, but we bonded together as a team and have always pushed through it. We have a beautiful, energetic loving son and another sweet baby on the way. Its all so odd to think about the girl I was when I met him and how we both saw each other grow into adulthood.

My husband is my everything and I would be lost without him. He knows my thoughts before I even say them. If I give him a "honey do" list, he always complete them without complaint or annoyance (just as long as I don't keep repeating the same list because of my own OCD). He gets me and I get him. He gets my sensitive side, my loving side, my feisty side. I get his quietness, his enthusiasm to see old friends and to play sports with the guys, his fun quirky thing of reorganizing the house (how I love that) and all the small ways he reaches out to show how much he really loves and supports his family. I know no better man and I am so damn glad he fought for us during our VERY early part of our relationship when I was completely indecisive. He truly is my rock. I said it in the past and will say it again that I still crush on him like a silly high school girl, but love this man so very deeply as a wife should love her husband.

Happy Birthday babies!!!!

Que Sera, Sera

2010-10-15T12:33:00.002-04:00

I hope my husband will agree with me when I say that during this second trimester of not feeling like I'm about to die, I've been in a pretty awesome mood. I don't feel the mood swings that much as no one has really made me angry or perhaps should I say LET them get me angry.

I've had stress in this pregnancy just like I had in my first pregnancy with my son. This stress is different though because I'm not wondering what is going to happen to my Mom. This time I'm just worried about my job situation and will I get a job or not. How will it change our family dynamic and how I will adapt to it? The planner in me quickly got a plan A, B and C together (after some long discussions with my husband) and now I can say I'm quite calm. My last blood pressure reading was 110/67. This is insurmountable compared to my old average of 147/91 when I was at the same stage in my pregnancy last time.

I suppose I can hear my Mom singing in the background that old Doris Day tune "Que Sera Sera" (the embedded video is above) to help ease my conscious and nerves as my husband holds my hand in this new journey together. I'm not letting anything impact this pregnancy and honestly I'm in a new happy zen in life right now. Sure I try to do what I can but at the end of the day, I really am just humbled knowing that in the end everything will work out. I have my family and we all have our health.

I've also carried this same thinking of Que Sera, Sera What Will Be, Will be with other areas in my life. Be it a co-worker that doesn't always say the nicest things. Instead of being angry, I just feel sorry that perhaps its just stress making this person say the things they do. If a friend doesn't want to hang out, then my feelings aren't hurt like they used to be because I have a bazillion other things to do. If someone cuts me off on the road, then I hope they get home okay(after calling them an asshole). The most I got upset about was my doctors appointment got changed, but was more of a disappointment. I always look forward to hearing the thump thump of my baby's heart beat. If you've been pregnant before, you know how awesome it is to hear that sound.

I guess what I want to pass on this blog post is to not get so caught up with the little silly moments of todays stress. If you have the health and love of your family then everything is really just fine. Everything works itself out and I believe there is a plan and a reason why things fall in place the way they do. We don't always know why its happening, but I think we see the reasoning after some time and patience.

Que Sera, Sera. What Will Be, Will Be

HELLO 2nd Trimester

2010-10-01T12:20:00.004-04:00

Now that I am officially into my second trimester, I think my ALL FREAKING DAY sickness is finally gone. I endured it. I mastered the art of NOT puking in my cubical for six weeks straight, which I really should win a gold medal for the amount of effort that took. I am actually a productive person and I kind of feel like me again....just have a little bit of a bigger pouch then usual and sleep has become my new best friend.

I hit the second trimester actually having lost weight. Its no big thing if you consider how insanely sick I was for the majority of my first trimester. Still, I was a little surprised as I kept seeing my tummy grow larger. I actually physically needed to wear maternity pants because I was too big for even my fat pants and it was not because my stomach couldn't handle the tighter bloating first trimester tummy. I was getting a pregnant belly...for realz.

Yes I purposely misspelled "realz"

Now that I don't feel so sick, I want to eat. If you're eating something (unless its that stinky ass fish that someone seems to cook daily in my office), then I want whatever you are eating. I'll seriously eyeball you. I was eyeballing my sisters lunch yesterday (but already had my own). I've eyeballed my husband on numerous occasions or saw someone on the television eating something and will say "I WANT THAT". My shopping list is growing. While I am still having a bit of a food adversion to meat, I want to actually eat instead of being forced to be some anorexic pregnant woman. I don't have a mental disability and I wasn't abusing the innocent fetus growing inside me, the kid did NOT want food and suddenly has changed his/her little mind about the whole food idea.

Dear lord help me if I have a really picky eater once this baby is born.

So far I've wanted various brands of pizza, strawberry smoothies, cheese-curl sandwiches (don't ask), waffles, chocolate ice cream, cashews and apples. I want apples in a BAD way right now. I want them freshly sliced like my Mom used to cut them when I was little and how I cut them for my son now. It just sounds absolutely delicious right now.

I just don't get why in the HELL I have such a distaste for meat. Sure I'll eat it from now and then, but the steak that I used to EASILY polish off looks more like some nasty, infested, smelly, piece of fish to me. Its just plain yuck. My Mom made turkey last weekend. I LOVE turkey. Did I eat that much? No...someone didn't want me too. Apparently I'm just growing into becoming a vegetarian...against my will.

While I sit here and complain and demand things, I really am enjoying this pregnant. Even the sickness was okay because I knew the baby had to be okay. Its a miracle really that babies are even conceived and its such a honest to God blessing that I get to be a Mom of another precious little person. Happy Second Trimester to me! I'll be seeing you for another 14 weeks. Then its on to HOLY MOLY MAMA at 28 weeks ; )

My Little Guy, The Gentleman

2010-09-24T13:15:00.003-04:00

Zaichik is a typical three year old boy. He loves to get messy, test boundaries and loves to play from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep. Raising a little boy certainly is a lot of work, just as I assume raising a little girl would be lots of work (though I have no experience). I want to raise a little guy who loves God and family, is educated, has good manners, thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, and can really open his eyes to observe the beauty in the world. I also want to raise a little gentleman.

I know some women dislike men opening doors for them, but in my world, when a man does that, it proves that his Mama raised him right. It isn't a demonstration how a woman needs to be taken care of. It is considerate and thoughtful.

Zaichik really is turning into a little gentleman without me even prompting him to do this or that. Sure his Mama reminds him of some things, but overall he's picking things up on his own. For instance 75% of the time, he will open the front door of the house for me and hold it, especially if I am carrying something. Zaichik has killed tons of little bugs for me, even when his Dad is around. He takes great pride in it and wow does that kid have gusto when he's annihilating an insect! He also has done gentlemanly things for the little neighborhood girl next door. He's helped her pull out her toy car when it got stuck in a rut many times, which usually requires him to stop playing in his car to help her out. He has gone under bushes to get a rock one kid threw in it that completely devastated another little girl who thought her rock was precious just to hand it back to the little girl. Just yesterday a little girl didn't like the dirt in her car. Zaichik heard this and came over just to brush off the seat for her. He does all this without asking and without any encouragement from me.

I know the lessons aren't done with teaching him gentleman like behaviors, but he is well on his way. I can't be more proud of the considerate way he is thinking of others and how thoughtful he is in his actions. It is tough for a three year old to think of someone other then themselves, but he has truly and most wonderfully surprises me in thinking of others.

You make Mama proud little man. I love you!

Hello Fall!

2010-09-24T12:52:00.003-04:00

I absolutely LOVE Fall. I love nothing but semi quiet hay rides, the beautiful colors of the trees, the smell of apple cider and the excitement of so many festivals to go to! Many of them are also free! There are so many festivals in Virginia. Take a gander at the different things going on in Fall: Virginia Fall 201o and DullesMoms.com: Fall Festivals. There is something to do every weekend!

Our weekends are busy around our house, but you can be sure that if we aren't doing pre-planned X,Y,Z then we are headed to one of these to enjoy the outdoors and wear the entire family out so we can all crash for a family evening movie at home. After this hot summer, I am so looking forward to the weather cooling down (just a tad).

As an added bonus, this Fall (end of October/beginning of November), I find out the sex of the new baby. People for the most part is saying its a girl. I have no idea and no guesses. I just am relishing in hearing the little person's heartbeat during appointments and can't wait to meet him or her. Zaichik is going to be such an amazing big brother!

Wow

2010-09-23T15:02:00.002-04:00

13 almost 14 weeks into this pregnancy, I am almost still in disbelief that is actually happened. I can see my stomach starting to grow. The constant and I mean CONSTANT nausea paired with sporadic migraines certainly is a reminder. I guess I am just as shocked as when I first got pregnant with Zaichik. I am in complete awe.

I am obviously busier this go around. I can't take after work naps and relax like I used to when I was pregnant with the first. I need to keep up and and play with my very energetic three year old. There have been a few times when Mommy had the guilt trip of trying to get Zaichik to sit down and read or watch a movie, instead of going outside or going up and down the stairs, but it was either that or Mommy was going to be forced to lose her lunch. I've also gone to bed more often then not at 8 o'clock. I'm just worn out.

Today I had another doctor appointment. I was scared I would not hear a heart beat during the visit. It reminded me all to well how often I would hold my breath during the visits I would make when I was pregnant with Zaichik. I just needed to hear that thump, thump thump. On the way to the doctors, I can't tell you how many Hail Mary's and other prayers I said. I did not want to stress myself out. Prayer is calming. I just needed to put it in God's hands. At first the doctor had a hard time finding it. The baby is still so little, but she did and he or she was curled up on the lower left side of my abdomen with a healthy 156 bpm. I will never get tired of that sound. Its simply amazing.

I'm still getting used to the notion I'm pregnant. I started bonding with the baby already by talking to it and getting Zaichik involved with little things here and there. I just am amazed. Pregnancy is a miracle.

Pregnant!

2010-09-21T09:40:00.004-04:00

Yesterday my husband and I decided to let the cat out of the bag so the rest of the world would know...we are PREGNANT! We told close family and friends initially, but decided it would be best to keep it a semi secret until around my second trimester.

Finding out was one of the BEST birthday presents ever. To be honest, we were trying for a while and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I charted. I knew my cycle. I just wasn't getting pregnant. There were a few (okay a lot) of teary months and I did keep that all in the shadows of my home after the baby would go to bed and I would be sad with my husband. He told me to keep faith and it would happen when the time was right. Being patient just isn't one of my virtues. Finally I confessed to one of my friends that I was trying and feeling quite heart broken, especially when it was so easy to get pregnant with my first. It was one of the HARDEST things for me to talk about. Its almost admitting that you're failing somehow as a woman. It may sound silly, but if you've been there...you know what I am talking about. We talked a bit, but she told me point blank (and it was something I needed to hear from a third party) to CHILL OUT. Next month, I did chill out. I knew the cycle, but we stopped looking at specific days, etc., We prayed and let whatever was to happen, happen. I finally breathed. Guess what? It took.

I found out the Saturday before my birthday. My husband and I just came home from a party and I decided...why not? Needless to say, I was shocked but ecstatic to see two VERY clear pink lines. I came downstairs and handed the test to my husband. He at that point was used to seeing one liners even though we would squint in hopes of seeing a second line. He didn't need to squint. I can remember his face clear as day...surprised, almost a bit shocked and asked me "REALLY?!!!!!" We told Zaichik, but he really had no reaction at that point, which is expected of a three year old.

That Sunday we told both of the parents. My parents picked me up for church, and unlike most days, I asked if they could come inside. My husband told them and they were so excited! I did let my Dad tell the priest. It was the Sunday that Zaichik thought Father John's name needed to be blessed like the sign of the cross, "Father, John, Holy Spirit" instead of "Father, Son, Holy, Spirit". Later that evening we told my husbands Mom and her boyfriend. The boyfriend got it when my husband said that Zaichik was going to have a brother or a sister. His Mom initially thought we were just telling her we were trying, and was so excited to hear that we were actually pregnant.

Zaichik is the sweetest little guy of them all about this pregnancy. In the past few months he has become accustomed to knowing that Mommy has a baby in her belly. He even thinks he has a baby in his belly too sometimes too. We talk about the baby. He tells me how he's going to be nice to the baby and share, although he did state that he would NOT share his bath toys. That is fine with me for a while since the two won't be sharing baths initially. He also told me he would share his old crib and points out that the nursery is the baby's room and his room is the one next to it. He even makes it a point now to say "hi" to other babies when we are out in public.

I will also say, that neither his Dad nor I care what sex the baby is. I think most people are a little surprised to hear that, but honestly we just want a healthy baby. If we have another boy, then great because we know boys and Zaichik will have a brother. If we have a girl, then great because we will get another type of experience raising a girl and Zaichik will have a sister. However, when we have asked Zaichik if he is going to have a brother or a sister, he always replies with "swister". He has never deviated from that. I have told him a sister means a girl and a brother is a boy, but he is adamant that it is a girl. So we will see if my little predictor is correct when we hopefully find out at the end of October.

Lastly, I thought maybe I would feel different when I got the sonogram (pictured above). I have already experienced sonograms with my first pregnancy and even though I obviously think this baby is a miracle and it is such a blessing, I almost thought I would be used to it. What a silly notion! The moment I saw my baby, my heart fluttered and I could not stop tearing up. Hearing the heart beat (a steady 170 bpm) was amazing. It was the first time I got a glimpse of my baby, my second child, my Zaichik's sibling. I was in complete awe and truly humbled.

Babies will come when they want to and honestly, even with all the stress and new beginnings going on in my life, it was the perfect timing. There are some hurdles to jump and new things to figure out, but life is forever changing and I'm so happy that God has blessed me with another child, a sibling for my son. This pregnancy has been hard with feeling nausea and having multiple migraines in my first trimester, but it has also humbled me too. I would rather feel healthy in some respect, but I almost am glad that I don't feel terribly well because for me its a sign the baby is fine. It certainly is a completely different pregnancy then what I experienced with my first, but it is still just as amazing and pretty awesome.

Thank you God. I could never thank you enough for all the blessings you have given me.

I Always, Sometimes, Never

2010-09-16T12:23:00.001-04:00

I Always
Kiss and tell my son and husband I love them every day.
Drink Diet something or other (my one source of caffeine).
Try to plan everything, especially for the future.
Do the best I can for my son.
Cheer for the CAPS.
Hum or sing in the shower.
Try to find a great deal.
Get personal satisfaction when I get something for my son rather its
clothes or a silly Pez dispenser. It makes me really happy.

I Sometimes
Let my emotions get the best of me.
Have lack the patience I need.
Cry because of what was on commercials, television shows, etc.,
Forget to shave my legs. Okay...a lot because I'm always so tired.
Wish I could move to another country and/or state temporarily.

I Never
Have eaten a pickle (the smell stops me).
Shop for a car or anything electronic (I loathe it).
Salt and pepper my food.
Eat sushi (yuck).
Wear orange.
Make our bed...ever. Hubby makes it from time to time.
Wear shorts or skirts.
Drink wine or beer.
Caught up on house chores.

What's on YOUR always, sometimes, & never list?

Lessons

2010-09-15T14:51:00.002-04:00

Yesterday my son and I were watching a show on Discovery. I think it
was Meet the Jones's of something of that nature. All I can say is the
show was about a family surviving with five babies and an older
sister. During the show, my son noticed that two of the babies were
wearing helmets. Surprisingly my son pointed at the kids and said
"eww" Mama". I was shocked! I don't think he thought the problem they
had was gross, but more confused of what or why could they possibly
have on their heads. This mean LESSON TIME.

Me: What the babies had on their heads are not "eww". They have special hats to help shape their heads. People have all sorts of different things that make them who they are and that isn't "eww". God made us all different to make us all unique and special.

Zaichik: No ewwww???

Me: Your hair color is brown and some of your friends is red. Is your
hair eww because it is brown?

Zaichik: Nooooooo.

Me: Lots of people have brown hair, but not all. It is apart of you that makes up what you look like. Those babies have special hats and that is just what they will look like for a while.

Zaichik: Okay Mama. HI BABIES!!!

Hopefully I got the point across. I was trying to pin point the issue at hand to make it as understandable as I could for a three year old. I think the conversation worked. Usually if he's adamant something is this or that he will repeat it a few times and this time he was fine with it. Lesson learned....hopefully.

Uh, What?

2010-09-15T14:47:00.002-04:00

Four things today (and more then likely will always) that baffle me:

~ Why would anyone call their child Dexter unless it is a family name?
I get that you may like the show, but naming your son after a serial
killer....not too endearing and it kind of freaks me out.

~ Why do Moms continuously judge other Moms for the choices they make
for their own kids? For example, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding,
disposable diaper vs. cloth diapers, working Mom vs. stay at home Mom,
etc.,? If the Mom has the child's best interest at heart, then why
not respect her decisions?

~ Why would a Mom put cool aide and/or soda in a baby's bottle? I mean
really?

~ Why would anyone want a Dexter doll?

Open Letter to All Moms Out There

2010-09-14T12:11:00.005-04:00

Dear Moms,

Before I had a child, I thought I knew mostly everything there was to know about kids. I can all hear you chuckling and shaking your heads thinking that I actually thought I knew what I was getting into when I was pregnant. Man, was I so wrong on so many levels! I wanted to write an apology letter (to myself included) about how clueless I actually really was.

I am sorry for the fact when I saw you toting kids with a messy hair do, no makeup and sweat clothes that I thought you could of tried harder to present yourself out in public. What I should of noticed is that your clothes were clean and it didn't consist of spit up, smushed snack and/or boogers that don't belong to you.

I am sorry that I thought I had true sympathy for you when I saw your child having a temper tantrum on the floor of the super marker. I knew that kids had temper tantrums and those were annoying for any parent, but never got how much patience it takes for a parent to endure those embarrassing moments, trying to get necessary shopping done and also getting glared at by strangers like they are the worst parent in the world.

I am sorry that I grew impatient when I wanted your parking spot and it seemed like it took forever for you to get going. Needless you say you were dealing with your own war of buckling up kid(s), getting necessary binkies and lovies, and trying to load everything you had just bought in your car hoping you don't forget it in the cart in the parking lot (I have seen this happen) or that is actually makes it home in one piece.

I am sorry that I speed through the neighborhood when your children were outside playing. I know now that at a split second a three year old can run out into the road, which thankfully I think I nipped that one in the bud (knock on wood).

I am sorry that I got jealous of when parents could call in sick to work because their child was sick and I thought they were getting a care free day to themselves. I didn't realize that you were probably trying to fit your kid in to see the doctor that day, probably stayed up most of the night before with them and were going to have to deal with a cranky lunatic all day.

I am sorry that I didn't truly understand how hard a working parent has it. I know stay at home Moms have it rough but in my circumstance I can not relate just yet. However, I know now that juggling child(ren), work, home, spouse and any other relationships is not an easy task. I also know that as a working Mom, there is guilt (at least for me) to have to work.

I am sorry that I didn't understand why your car and/or your house was messy. Sure I knew kids made a mess, but I had NO idea. Plus you have to ask yourself, do you go wash the dishes or play outside with your kids for a while? 9 out of 10 times, I play outside with my son. He'll only want his Mom with him for a little while.

So thus far is my open letter to all of you Mommies. I am sure there could easily be a part two, but for now, this is the apology I would of wrote had I known.

God bless!

Thoughts

2010-09-12T20:51:00.004-04:00

"If someone wants to be a part of your life they'll make an effort to be in it so don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay... "

Yesterday while using some downtime to search around for things on the internet, I came across the quote above. I wasn't looking for quotes at all and although I have heard it before it struck a chord with me to actually meaning more then just thinking about silly boyfriends of the past when I was young and my heart knew nothing of love. Today, it was a reflection of what I want in my life in regards to my own relationships with people.

My son is my number one concern. Sure I care about what my husband does, feel, thinks and says, but I am my little boys world. Everything he does do (minus his own free will obviously) is calculated by me. I picked the school he goes to, the clothes he wears, how to discipline him, what stories and toys to buy for him to play with, etc., etc. etc., etc., So obviously when he needs Mommy, my brain and heart go into tunnel vision mode for him. It's a Mommy thing that most loving Mothers just go through. Sure there are days when I am tired (as are most Moms), but my mind never shuts off thinking about him even when I am not with him. He is in fact my little heart with legs.

However there are always other people in your life like friends and family that play a role somewhere in between being a Mommy and being myself. I've gotten closer to some members of my family which I am very grateful for and other extended family that I have reached out to meet me for dinner or hang out somewhere and they just haven't found the time. The same thing goes with friends. I've reached out to a few and some have reciprocated wonderfully with asking me to meet up just because we enjoy each others company. The relationships I have with these people aren't difficult, there is always time to squeeze in somewhere and we truly enjoy each others company.

For me its all about making the time and the effort and it is a two way street for all relationships. If someone wants to be in your life then they will make an effort. If you're the one that keeps on trying with no return, then it is just better off letting some people slip quietly away because you obviously don't mean that much to them. I am a very busy person that has a lot of things on my plate and I am constantly juggling them. However, I always have the time to spend with the people I care about. It may not be today or this week, but I will certainly put forth the effort.

Reflections of Motherhood

2010-09-10T14:02:00.002-04:00

Yesterday while reading one of my favorite blogs, Baby Bunching, I came across this little video on youtube they posted called Reflections of Motherhood. I was moved to tears people. Its so nice to see the fake act put away for a little while and admit that everything isn't okay all the time. It was also nice to see real Moms give REAL sound advice. I also caught myself nodding in agreement to 100% of what they had to say. One line that really stuck with me, that is now my favorite is, "You are about to meet true love." I love my husband so very much, but a mothers love for their child is just insurmountable. Enjoy Mommies and Daddies

The Joy Of Townhomes

2010-09-10T10:25:00.005-04:00

Living in a townhouse certainly has its perks and its absolute downfalls. I absolutely love the spacious interior of my townhouse as well as the floor plan. When searching for houses, it was the only floor plan that was for me "liveable". Other townhouses lacked a dining area to eat in and a lot of them could not fit the furniture we had in our apartment. I was really happy when we came across the current home we are now living in. It had mostly everything a first time homeowner could want and then some.

What I have found about not liking townhouses is in my particular community, there are no assigned parking. Some people are rude and will leave their cars in front of your house for days/weeks at a time or hog the lack of guest parking. These are the neighbors with garages/driveways while my row lacks either. I admit, I have written my share of friendly but point blanks notes giving my ill-mannered neighbors my disgust, which all of them have thankfully taken my advice. There is also a lack of back yard, which I find annoying since my son LOVES to play outside. I kind of dreamed of planting a small garden or just having a fenced in space so he can do as he pleases, but thats not going to happen right now. However, I am thankful that our place backs up to a common area, so he can ride his power wheels, play ball, or pick little dandelions.

What I do like about my street and row specifically is that all my neighbors kind of look out for each other on some level or another. I have told multiple neighbors that they left their lights on in their cars, borrowed sugar or an ingredient if I so happened to run out (same goes when they have run out) and I even found a lost child at one point. This week I have found another joy about living in a townhouse...LOTS OF KIDS.

For some people having an abundance of children might be annoying, but I love hearing the sound of children playing and laughing. I really can't think of a more happy noise in the world. For the past several days as soon as we get home from school, my son wants to do nothing more but get out of the car and run to see his little friends who are playing outside on our row and also happen to be the same age. For hours the kids play and share their different toys. There are some tears (hey they are only three) and there are some arguments, but it is all quickly forgotten five minutes later. I love that my son can play for hours outside with his friends, wear himself out and come home smiling ear to ear smudged with a peck of dirt. I can also take a moment to socialize with the other Moms or Dads as well. Thankfully we all seem to be on the same dinner schedule so no one is upset that they need to go in while the other kids are playing, which hasn't been a problem since my son has told me multiple times that he is all done with being outside because he is simply worn out.

So while I say there are some negative things living in a townhouse, it mostly is only crappy annoyances for the parents. For my son, it has a lot of perks with having playmates so close by to pal around with. I love more then anything to see the joy on my sons face and if there are a few annoyances for me...I'll gladly take it just to see him smile.

Creative Edible Ideas To Try

2010-09-08T20:28:00.007-04:00

After my sister made some insanely, delicious Smore Brownies for the block party at my parents last weekend, she inspired me to look at some other online fun things to make/eat that I and/or my son would love. I came across several fun ideas and I thought I'd share them with you all and maybe you too may have some cool ideas to pass along.

The first idea is the food marker. I ran across a blog that briefly mentioned it but I couldn't help but stumble on the line "food markers". Um what? NEVER heard of them....never saw them. Maybe this is not a new thing to you, but I'm kind of giddy about trying them. You can do a million things with them from making cute designs on sandwiches for school (before it embarrasses them), put some pizazz (I love that word) on cookies as shown below, finish off details on a cake or even make it into a fun edible art craft for the kids to do themselves.

Another fun idea I ran across was by Gourmet Mom On The Go, who blogged about making edible crayons she makes with her family by using some free print out labels, white chocolate, food coloring and medium size pretzel sticks. Don't the crayons look like a fun project for a back to school theme or for a family themed fun night? This Mom certainly has a creative edge and I love her ideas. Certainly scroll through her blog for some pretty awesomely creative ideas!

Finally (at least on this blog post), I am really itching to make individual pies in a jar. Our Best Bites really hit the nail on the head for making easy, but quick pies for families or for fun give aways. Essentially by using canning jars (not regular jars because they can't withstand oven temperatures), you can make little pies in these jars of your choosing, cut out a fun, easy pie top you have your pie. If you have a family of two and the recipe calls for six pies, you can easily freeze the other four pies by just putting the canning tops back on and placing it in your freezer until a later day. You could also make a fun label and use them as giveaways for friends, co-workers, teachers or family. Its unique and homemade goods like this is always appreciated. Don't they look yummy?

Do you have any great ideas to pass along that you've made or have come across on your "to do" list to make?

Whew!!! What A Summer!

2010-09-07T11:23:00.002-04:00

This summer has been quite the busy summer this year. It has gone by so quickly, I can't believe the school aged kids are already back in school today. My little guy has been going to his day care all summer long, but for me...summer ends when the traffic once again increases and you see more yellow and black school buses on the road (and if you're unlucky enough to get stuck behind one of them).

Here's what we did this summer:

Family vacation to Williamsburg (for free yay!)
Zaichik rode his first all by himself ride in Busch Gardens
Countless game nights
My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary...my sis and I threw a party for them.
Several fun birthday parties for some very special three year olds
Gave Zaichik a fun kid birthday party at the Loudoun Sports Bounce.
Visited the Zoo
Finally got to take Zaichik to Great Country Farm (and had a great time)
Attended a wedding/reception for a good high school friend
Went to Massanutten Resort Park and had a blast at their indoor water park
Zaichik saw his first live show...Curious George Live
Went to a Family Reunion
Lots of fun trips to Frying Pan Park
Went to Clemyjontri Park a few times
Took the family to the church camp out...we didn't camp but Zaichik had his first snow cone!
Saw a double feature at a drive in
Zaichik saw his first magic show
Hubby built an entertainment area in the basement
Hubby also rearranged the house/organized it...again ; )
Zaichik got a big boy bed
Making huge strides on potty training Zaichik
And some other exciting news around the corner...

Some not so fun things:

Got a huge bill we weren't expecting (but thankfully resolved it)
Found out I'm losing my job
Had more sickies then I cared for this summer : P

The Arts

2010-09-03T09:47:00.006-04:00

This week I got one of my Mommy Things To Do With Your Kid emails about a arts activity in the area sponsored by Greater Reston Arts Center. The program run two days a week during the hours of 11am-5pm. It does not indicate age (I am guessing kids of all ages go here) and for five dollars your kid gets a bucket and their imagination can run wild. This will certainly be an activity I take my son to in the near future. I grew up appreciating the arts mainly because my Mom exposed my sister and I to all sorts of things like ballets, plays, art museums, art classes, music classes, dancing, etc., We lived in a slightly small southern town (Winston Salem, NC), but she really had a knack of showing us the beauty of the arts and encouraging us to embrace them head on.

When I saw the email for the Greater Reston Arts Center, it reminded me of the days where my sister and I would go to SEECA (Southern Center for Contemporary Arts). I remember like it was yesterday walking up to the big front, iron framed door of the mansion (pictured above) and pushing hard to open it. The main area was old with large fire places and smelt of of a Grandmother's basement (for some reason I love that smell), but has thus since expanded into a beautiful center to display even more artist work. The 32 acre estate was absolutely beautiful, and was filled with all sorts outdoor art. I even remember at one time there was a hedge of bushes that they cut out into a shape of a house. I also still have a poster from the 80's where SEECA at one time had a display of painted BMWs in my basement.

It may not look like much but for me, but the picture above illustrates a fun fragment of my childhood. During this particular class, I remember being told to make some sort of a building. Being slightly tom boyish, but still girly, I made a doll house. The doll house was made of simple things like cardboard boxes, paint, popsicle sticks, pieces of fabric and cotton balls. I let my imagination run wild, using my favorite colors and even had a ladder leading up to the roof where I had a swimming pool. I remember constructing that little house like it was yesterday. I also remember my sister making all sorts of art that once she brought home, I would secretly go play with. During one class, she made a life size sculpture of a woman. I believe her face was a tin pie plate? I also remember her making a musical instrument where she tied different pieces of metal to a string, hung them over a painted stick and you would hit them with a long, narrow piece of metal, almost like how you would play a symbol.

I appreciate the fact my Mom showed me so many of the arts in so many different ways. I loved my experience with SEECA and I just want to show my son the different arts so he hopefully has an appreciation of them as well.

Sickies

2010-09-01T19:44:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been sick...just not feeling so great in general. I feel guilty for not doing everything that I want to do or just not having as much energy to them. In general...its made me feel down in some ways. I'm certainly thankful for what I have, so don't get me wrong. I'm just drained.

I write all the time how much I love my husband on this blog and I really do. He's picked up slack in so many areas by letting me catch an afternoon nap while he picks up my son early from day care so I don't have the guilt with him staying there too long and I get some extra zzz's. I don't know why, but I damn near cried when he offered to do that for me.

Then just yesterday I had another work from home day. I felt like while I had some down time I should of cleaned up a bit, and while I emptied the dishwasher and tried picking up a few toys...I didn't do what I set out to do. So I felt like poo. Guess who comes home a little early to boost up my spirits? My husband. What does he have? The caffeine free drinks I told him I needed (but we were going to get a different day) and one of my FAVORITE junk/dessert foods, fudge!!!!

Really its the little things that matter. The small efforts people make in each others lives that can really make a difference. The big things are nice too, but just having a small gesture in being thoughtful is truly a gift. My guy isn't big on flowers (though I have had my share of them) or lavish jewelry (then again I probably wouldn't wear it). He's big on thinking about lots of small things that make me happy. I'm just so thankful to have a husband that thinks of those things.

Love ya babe.

No! No Green Mama!

2010-08-27T12:21:00.002-04:00

As I do every night before I go to work the next day, I lay out clothes for the following work day. This allows me to easily put on clothes sleepy eyed and I don't have to turn on the overhead light while my husband is half snoozing in bed for another 15 minutes. Since it was Friday, I decided on a pair of khaki's with a green polo shirt. It matched and it was suitable for work...plus I didn't have to iron either item. SCORE!

I put the outfit on in the morning and my three year old shot a look at me and whined while pointing to my green shirt, "No Mama. No green." I have no idea why he did not like the shirt. He wears plenty of green and there has been no traumatic experience while I wore this shirt in the past. I was not in the mood for a three year old to judge my outfit so early in the morning, so I told him that this is what I would be wearing and that is that. He said nothing more about but eyeballed me like I was making some sort of fashion faux pas.

I got to work and went the ladies bathroom. Now that I was awake, I looked at myself in the long mirror and instantly hated my outfit. The shirt really didn't go well with my slightly larger waistline. Bottom line: it was not as good of a match as I thought.

So how in the heck does a kid who does not know how to button his own pants, wears animals characters on his shirt and still poos in his diaper can judge my own outfit before I can? I guess I was just really off today. Either that or maybe I birthed the future Oscar de la Renta.

....Mommy apparently needs a stylist.

How Did He Know?

2010-08-26T18:53:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we took Zaichik to his three year old well check up. His pediatrics office has great exam rooms themed out from Sesame Street to Superheroes. Each room is unique and this time we entered a room he hasn't been into since he was VERY little. It was the superheroes room. Zaichik was happy as it had plenty of toys in the room to play with (all still going with the theme) and yelled out "Spwider Man Mama" as he held up a Spider-Man action figure smiling gleefully.

How in the world does he know who Spider-Man is?

We have never watched Spider-Man at home, read books, or anything of the sort. He's probably heard of Superman from time to time, but not Spider-Man. My only guess is he somehow had another kid talk enough about Spider-Man and have some sort of picture of him at his school for Zaichik to easily recognize him so quickly and easily. Zaichik played with Spider-Man for almost the entire visit making little boy action noises and having him leap in the air from object to object. I just can't believe it. My baby has gone from playing with the Fisher Price Little People figurines to wanting to play with action figures. Not sure if Mama is ready for this one.

The Hungarian Revolution

2010-08-19T12:53:00.004-04:00

My Dad sent me an article earlier this month which basically discussed that Washington D.C. is going to have a memorial for the fallen heroes of the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. Having Hungarian roots and actually meeting several Freedom Fighters (Hungarian Revolutionist) through my Nagypapa (Grandfather), I think this is pretty damn amazing.

For those who know nothing of the Hungarian Revolution, wikipedia link explains it as, "The Hungarian Revolution of 1956 was a spontaneous nationwide revolt against the government of the People's Republic of Hungary and its Soviet-imposed policies, lasting from 23 October until 10 November 1956." The site further went on to say, "Over 2,500 Hungarians and 700 Soviet troops were killed in the conflict, and 200,000 Hungarians fled as refugees. Mass arrests and denunciations continued for months thereafter."

Obviously the result was not what Hungary had intended it to be (at least for a while), but their sacrifices were great. They fought for their homeland because they saw a better tomorrow for their country. A better tomorrow, is something most Americans can easily identify with.

A Freedom Fighter once told us a story to my family of how a group of men were taking a bunch of women and children to the Austrian border. While they were walking, they saw a bunch of Soviet troops. Fearful the troops would open fire at them for whatever reason they deemed necessary, the men carefully moved themselves to the outer circle of the group essentially shielding the women and children. Much to the amazement of the Hungarians, the Soviet troop paid no attention and they were able to flee to safety.

I've only been to Hungary once and was a little girl when I went. Although I am proud of being an American, Hungary to me has a strange draw because of my roots. I know very little of the language, but know the cuisine and as a child frequented tons of Hungarian festivals dressed in my little folk costumes (it was customary 99% the people did this). My favorite dance was the Czardas, which is a dance where it would go slow to fast and then repeat back to slow again. I loved how my dress twirled out as we would almost get thrown going round and round!

Don't I Make A Cute Little Hungarian?

Close to the dance we would do...less uniformed though.

I kind of see the Hungary as a whole as part of home. Is that weird? I don't feel that way as much about being part German or Scandinavian. I suppose a big part of that is my upbringing. When I see things (however surprising it may be) like a Hungarian memorial, I can't help but be proud and think of my Great Grandfather Mikhail ("Michael" whom my son, Dad and I are named after). I just feel a connection and think how wonderful he would think this memorial was or how my Nagypapa and Nagymama would have found that to be real "swell".

Ég veled! (goodbye for now)

Fail

2010-08-18T09:47:00.004-04:00

Today I had a minor fail as a parent...and I still feel about a inch tall for it. This morning it was raining cats and dogs just as I was about to leave for work. My husband was still upstairs watching the morning news as he didn't have to go into work until a bit later. My son loudly proclaimed he wanted to "stay here". I usually take him to day care and told him that Mommy had to go to work so he needed to come with me. He again exclaimed his distaste for the rain and that he didn't want to go outside. ....Neither did I.

Since my husband was still home I figured that Zaichik could stay home with him for a little while longer in hopes that the rain would let up some and at least he could play some more. I yelled up to my husband asking if that was fine and of course he agreed. I again told my son that I had to leave, kissed him goodbye at least three times and headed out the door. I saw his little face watch me leave from our kitchen window and if my boss wasn't out this week...Mommy might of just returned home to spend the day with him. It was just one of those mornings you feel torn about being a working Mom.

I called my husband as I got out of the neighborhood and got stuck in the morning rainy traffic mess of Northern Virginia. The phone went directly to voice mail. Mmmmm..... I called his cell phone. I just really wanted to know how Zaichik was doing and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt leaving him even though I obviously had to go. Eventually as I got caught in even more horrible traffic I got a phone call. My son had been crying his eyes out because I left and my husband wanted to know where I was. I wasn't going to be able to get to him any time soon even if I turned the car around. Thankfully Zaichik was calming down, but he did not want to talk to his Mom over the phone. ....today I just can't win, can I?

I know I did everything I could for my son this morning. I was trying to appease his hatred of the rain so he could stay home an extra half hour in hopes the rain would lighten up a little so he wouldn't scream and holler about going out into a major down pour. I just feel like I failed. Being a parent isn't easy....especially when your kid pulls on your heart strings. I can't wait until the work day is over so I can be the hero that rescues my son from day care. At least then he's usually quite delighted about whomever picks him up. Maybe he'll give me five seconds worth of a hug until he asks for his Dad...stinker

Quelf

2010-08-16T12:51:00.003-04:00

This weekend, after the kids were sound asleep in their beds, I played a new board game with a few good friends called Quelf. Lets just say I can't remember laughing that much in a really long time and literally had to try to control my laughter because I was making myself sick.

Quelf is a fun game to play with your family or friends. It is not a kid game per say. Its not dirty or raunchy...its just no Candy Land (even though the pieces and the board looks otherwise). The game itself is unpredictable and each turn a person takes could make them say, do or act out hilarious things. Lets just say by the end of the night everyone went home smiling and we even played to having second and third place just to make the game last a little longer.

Try it...I doubt you'll be disappointed. Its one of the best games I have ever played. I give it an A+

Stop The Rain

2010-08-13T13:11:00.002-04:00

Yesterday the DC metro area faced another huge down pour...and for some people it even happened twice in one day. There were areas without power, flash floods, tornado, etc., Thankfully we just had a whole lot of rain where I lived. The rain also happened to start just as I picked my son up from day care....

Before little Zaichik and I got home, it was pouring cats and dogs. I lacked having an umbrella in the car (not that it would of made much difference). We also don't have garage to our home, so to keep my baby as safe as possible I explained to him that Mommy was going to open the door first and then run back and get him so I am not holding him while fiddling with trying to open the door at the same time. Just as I opened the door, a HUGE CRACK KA-BOOM lit up the sky. It was so loud that is scared the tar out of me and made me jump. Thinking my baby is alone ten feet from me, I ran like a crazy woman to the car to open it up with a bawling three year old inside. I picked him up and he instantly calmed down and I scurried up to the front door as quickly as I could. He was still looking quite worried with little tears going down his face, so I said, "Wow God likes to play his musical instruments just as loud as you do sometimes!" He inquisitively looked at me and I explained to him that while God plays those loud musical instruments, we need to go inside and not play outside. He was okay with that explanation. I don't want my son to be scared of thunder or lightening unnecessarily, but I also want him to know a little safety. I remember being terrified of it being little and still can recall hiding behind the orange, 70's couch in my parents family room as a kid.

Once Zaichik was calmed down and the door was shut, he went to the family room and started playing. He looked up at me as I was getting ready to go upstairs to change out of my wet clothes when he questioned where his Dad was. I told him he was at work. Zaichik then exclaimed to me, "Dada make rain go away." I told him if he could he would, but thats not for him to decide. How awesome is it for a child to think his parents have the ability to do so many things...even change the weather? Dads do have special hero power, but not weather control. I was not asked if I could make the rain go away...the Daddy was.

It just brought back my own childhood revelation. That Moms (at least for me) were for nurture like kissing small (sometimes made up) boo boos, getting hugged if we were sad, and always played the constant referee. Dads were our heroes as kids (still are in some ways). They protect us, can kick any bad guy (or in my son's case any scary wolfs) butt, and can fix anything. As kids, I think we see our parents as if they have super hero powers. That each parent has their own unique abilities and talents. It just makes me smile to think that. That my son really thinks that we can do anything and everything to take care and provide for him. I'm even more proud to stand by and witness the adoring look in my son's eyes to think his Dad is his own personal super hero. How awesome is that?

Reminders

2010-08-11T13:31:00.002-04:00

Yesterday's post was pretty bleak...and well todays is a tad better in terms of my own outlook. I got a reminder yesterday that while my loss of job is going to be a big change for my family if I don't find one soon....things could always be worse. Its a Russian way of thinking...but yeah...you get reminders of how lucky you really are sometimes.

I have been reading a blog now for a few years. I don't want to particularly advertise it because I just don't feel right doing it for some reason...and for this I'm following my gut. Essentially it is about a beautiful, Christian loving family that has three children, of which one is adopted. Their very young adopted daughter is nearing her last days on this earth due to a terrible, incurable, terminal illness. They had no clue about this when they adopted her...things came to light as she grew older and she retracted her in ability to do things even an infant could do. Even though they are going through the biggest emotional hardship of their lives, they are seemingly handling this as best as any parent could do. Explaining the upcoming sister's departure to their oldest daughter was gut wrenching and it made me burst into tears. How unimaginable. I was so moved by their grace, beauty and trust in their faith in God. I could do nothing but pray for them...sobbing like a baby. It is what no parent should ever go through.

I will continue to pray for this family in my own nightly prayers with my son. Sometimes you get a wake up call that things aren't so bad. I don't like knowing the unknown, but I am so blessed that my baby and my family is healthy. May this family find strength and encouragement through this inconceivable hard time.

Losing Your Job

2010-08-10T17:00:00.004-04:00

I know I wrote a post like this a while ago, but the actual end date is now a reality since my contract was lost to another company. Simply put...we are losing our jobs.

It isn't that I haven't been looking either...I've been looking steadily for a year and a half. To no avail I have been offered four different positions after interviewing, which I would of took any of them. However, a hiring freeze, a lack of funds, not winning a contract, etc., has prevented me from getting any of these jobs. In short...its frustrating as hell.

I've needed to learn to breathe a little through this stress. If I don't find a job then all of my family lives changes a little. I am sure I can make ends meet through unemployment (though I really really really hate to go there). I just hate the uncertainty of everything. I am a planner by nature and the uncertainty of whats to come is daunting. I also feel the guilt of perhaps not providing for my family the way I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately for guidance and help. Perhaps there is a silver lining to this whole thing. I am just not sure what it is yet. I know at the end of the day as long as I have my family and we're healthy is all that matters. I just want to know that they are okay with Mommy changing their lives a little.

CouponMom.com

2010-07-28T20:36:00.005-04:00

Tonight my husband's Aunt calls me. I was surprised to see her number come up because although she's one of the sweetest most loving people in the world, I don't hear from her too often. She wanted to wish me a belated birthday and also tell me about a new website she found that was saving her lots of money. I had a pretty rough day, but she thought enough to call me so I thought to listen.

I think this new website may be my new obsession.

The website (as per the title) is CouponMom.com. She's been on a few television shows like Oprah and the Today Show so her site isn't a scam. She's the real deal ya'll. My Aunt claims she saves almost half on her grocery bills now and yesterday she bought $40 worth of things from CVS and only owed .80 after ringing everything up.

I logged on after doing a few monotonous things to see what it was all about. I clicked into my area and the store I frequented. I was surprised to see a lot of the savings that was listed was things I use. It was items that I frequently buy like meat, toilet paper, pasta noodles, etc., I did a mock purchase of what I could save and found that I would save 47% on my bill with items I regularly use. I could then go to another section in the website, select the coupon and print them out. If you are REALLY a person that wants to see how much you save (and you're a freak list maker like me), you can track your savings as well.

I'm in.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

Differences of Russia and the USA

2010-07-27T12:41:00.001-04:00

Russian culture is something that fascinates me. I love the music, the food, its people and even the language(though I am a horrible student at some of the pronunciations). Learning its culture is something that I am enraptured with. There is something about my husband's roots that just boggles my mind when I find out new things here or there, like their crazy superstitions or how differently they do things. I have found so many different things by either experiencing them, hearing stories or reading about how different the Russian culture is vs. the USA.

Want to know how different we really are? Read on.

Russian Superstitions

Drinking cold drinks, especially with ice can make you sick. Russians will ask you twice if you really want your soda, juice or water chilled. (My mother in law never wants ice in her drinks, but I always ask to kid with her.)
Sitting on a cold floor could ruin your reproductive organs. If a child sits down, a Russian adult will pick that child up to keep them from becoming unhealthy. And lord help you if Russian grandmothers (babushki) catch you letting your kids sit down on a cold floor. (I laughed when I heard that one). American Girls in Moscow even wrote of a famous incident relating to this superstition also arose in 1985 as Ted Turner was preparing for the Moscow Goodwill Games. The stadium he constructed that was to host a majority of the events had concrete seats--and he was accused of secretly plotting to make Russian women infertile.

^These Babushki would surely yell at you

Whistling in the house is bad luck, it means you'll throw away money.
If you sneeze it is a sign from your guardian angel. At the moment when you sneeze, you must pay attention to your last thought, as the sign will indicate that this is the truth.
Before leaving on a vacation or journey, you must sit down for a moment in silence before leaving your house.
Tea will keep you healthy and cure illnesses. (I certainly agree that tea does provide lots of relief especially when I am having a sore throat, but curing illnesses?)

Almost every dacha (country house) has some sort of decorative cross in front; if you don't have one, your home will be plagued by sorrow and bad luck.
Avoid being cold at all cost. Russians believe wearing tights for girls is a must in most weather to keep them from getting sick. I think there are a lot of over dressed kids from time to time. I thought this was amusing since we mostly think Russia is cold...even though they have warmer climates and how much this is a daily mission.
Do not buy anything for the baby until it is born. Could you imagine going out and getting a crib, clothes, etc., especially during Soviet times at the last minute? Even worse, expect your husband to know what to get?
A rainy wedding day is good luck and means you'll be wealthy.
It is bad luck to greet anyone or say goodbye over a threshold.

Differences in Russia vs. USA

In Russia the flu vaccine is called something completely different. They call them "flu jabs". They must think we're nuts when we say things like "I'm going to get shots today."
During Soviet times many professions were celebrated. While the US has them, they are often overlooked as being "Hallmark" inspired holidays. One such holiday is Teacher's Day. On this holiday in Russia students will bring their teachers apples, flowers, candy, etc., and recite sincere poems that tells the teacher how they are thankful for them.
Did you know the "got your thumb" thing where you put your thumb between your index and middle finger to tease young kids that you "got their nose" is the equivalent of sticking your middle finger at someone in America?

It is VERY taboo (and should be in the US more so as well) for Russian men to curse as a woman. You'll look highly uneducated.
Dress is very different from Russia vs. the US. Russians no matter the profession tend to dress up. It is very common to see even nannies wearing stockings, heels and have their make up and hair done.
Birthdays are a much bigger deal in Russia then in the US. Instead of the insincere "Happy Birthday" from Americans alike because they feel compelled to say something when its your birthday, Russians REALLY celebrate it. You'll get cards of "Wishing you much happiness". If the local markets you frequent know its your birthday, you could also get a nice praise or a small token like a flower if you happen to pass by his/her shop on the way home.
Following the birthday theme, it is very common for small children to toast the birthday girl or boy and wish nice things such as happiness, they grow tall or have great success in life. Could you ever imagine as a small child doing this to your peers?
Children's independence in stories is an American thing. Harriet the Spy, Ramona, Tom Sawyer, Finding Nemo are all American inspired individualistic characters. There is no Russian equivalent. Russian stories emphasize family or groups of friends.

Parents will widely think that team sports such as soccer is not appropriate for their girls. It is find to learn them, but you will not find an after school sport such as a girls softball team too often.
Russians call World War II, The Great Patriotic War and are also astounded to hear that Americans believe they won World War II. I can see why they are a bit shocked as they lost 23 million vs. the US lost 418,500. While our lost was obviously great (I had a Grandfather and an Uncle that fought in that war and survived), every family in Russia lost someone in that war. While on the home front citizens faced rations and women going to work, Russians lived in bombed out basement shelters and stories of boiling leather bound books just to eat something isn't unheard of. Russians were told by Stalin that if Nazi's were to come to burn/destroy/kill everything so nothing is left in case they ended losing the war. Imagine burning your house, your city down to make sure you are of no aide to Nazi's? However, instead of saying who won what, that perhaps it was a collaboration of countries getting together?
Most Russians will have a country house/cabin or otherwise known as a Dacha. There they will plant enormous gardens to essentially help feed their families throughout winter. These types of gardens became commonly popular in the soviet era. Think of the US and our victory gardens, except lasting even until present time after a world war.
Russian children have learned to regard the police as corrupt and dishonest, certainly not here to help us, and definitely not heroes.
Russians celebrate Victory Day (end of World War II). 20% of the population of Russia died during this war. During this holiday, huge celebrations honoring all the veterans occurs throughout Russia. Youtube it...it will blow your mind. I have never seen anything like it in the US.

The first day of school is a national holiday, called "Day of Knowledge". Posters and signs all over Russia is congratulating everyone one their first day of school.On the first day of school (Sept 1), Russian children will typically have first of the year celebrations. Typically 11th grader (seniors)will escort new 1st graders coming into school. The first graders will be announced one by one and then at the end the 11th graders will give their designated 1st grader a bell and the children will ring them announcing the start of the new school year. Can you imagine seniors here doing such things for a first grader?
Russian seniors will have a "Last Day Ceremony" with the entire school involved, even first year students. They will then have their exams following graduation. Once they have their exam results THEN they apply to the universities. Not before.
Russians also must choose their major and stick with it when applying to a university. Unlike American universities where you can switch majors easily or use some general credits to a different major, a university student in Russia is very concentrated in whatever specialty they choose.
In Russia it is common to see vending machines selling alcohol. Could you imagine
the scandal if there were vending machines like that in the US?
On March 8th Russia celebrates International Woman's Day. All women are celebrated young and old with small gifts like flowers or chocolates. It is common for men to take our their ladies to eat. It is sort of like Mother's Day in the US but all women partake in it. (I personally love this holiday).
Children in Russian orphanages "age out" at age 16.
Russians really don't celebrate December 25th as most of the faithful are Orthodox and Christmas for them lands some time usually in January. New Years is the BIGGEST holiday for them and they will put up trees just for New Years. From what I learned/read they usually work December 25th to gear up for the several day holiday after New Years. The Orthodox are truly appreciative because there is not a big commercial hoopla. Instead the Orthodox Christmas is truly a religious holiday.
Russians do celebrate Easter much more then Americans, but more suitably right for religious reasons, the Easter bunny does not exist there. Before Lent they will celebrate Maslenitsa, "Pancake Week." Essentially they eat lots of blini the week before Lent starts. Russians during Lent also tend to give up more then most Americans. They will not only shun meat or chocolates sweets but also dairy, and any fats entirely.

Depending on the household you live in America it could be house to house rule, but in Russia general rule of thumb is to leave your nasty outside shoes by the door or coat closet and have a separate set of indoor shoes. This prevents tracking in the winter cold's dirt, grime and salt into homes, schools, hospitals, etc.,
Teenagers do not hold jobs in Russia.
Wearing fur is not taboo in Russia as it is in America. Russians don't get the big deal of wearing them.
Even though getting a prescription for antibiotics is law, it is very easy to get antibiotics in any pharmacy in Russia just by asking it. Draw back, you have to add water to the powdery prescription yourself and hopefully you put the right in because if you don't you either water it down or don't add enough.
Russia does not push media pop culture like the US does. (Think of how much Toy Story there is out there right now? Although I love the story and so does my son, we have toys, sheets, blankets, juice boxes and even mac and cheese! However, they do have Hannah Montana in Russian.)
For most Russian kids, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny does not exist.
A salad in Russia does not mean it has anything to do with lettuce. It could be a mixture of thing from meat to veggies. (My husband's favorite "salad" could be either Winter Salad or Herring Salad...neither contains lettuce.)

Russians do not celebrate Halloween. No scary decorations or fun costumes as the Russian government considers Halloween to be Satanic.
Maple syrup, Worcestershire, zip loc bags, Peanut Butter,Ginger Ale and corn on the cob (this type of corn is used to feed farm animals) is not readily available in Russia. It can be found, but its rare and/or pricy.
Healthcare.
Speaking of healthcare, it is not uncommon to have vets come to your house and perform surgery on your pets.
Not 100% sure if its an Orthodox church thing, but if you want to visit churches in Russia, ladies must wear a head scarf.
Russians are encouraged to have children, their maternity care is wonderful. (I remember my mother in law telling me the first year she was paid to stay home, and that there was also a 24/7 day care where you could drop off your kid for FREE. So if you had to work or wanted to go out, there was a place they could go and had their own bed. American Girls in Moscow writer blogged "one region of the country, Ulanovsk, went as far as to give everyone the day off from work on September 12th--so that they can stay home and procreate, aiming for a big batch of babies born around "Victory Day" in May--the main national holiday. People whose babies are actually born on the holiday receive all kinds of prizes.")
Unfortunately adoption is not big in Russians. There is a stigma that Russian children that aren't "yours" or that there may be something wrong with them. They don't want children that have special needs, which is why Russian orphanages are spilling with beautiful children looking for homes.

Phone bills in Russia are not like US phone bills. If you make international calls, it requires two separate bills. The international phone bill usually require you to pay the bill in person at a phone office. Plus average citizens of Russia don't have land phones capable of calling overseas! Therefore there is a phone area you can go to to make international calls, but you have to stand in long lines and hope the person you are trying to reach is home when you call. Most Russians opt to use internet connections to make international calls because of the enormous hassle.
The US is made up of immigrants. Russians (although do have immigrants) are amazed by this.
Russian children do not find it endearing to be called "pumpkin" and find it rather insulting being called an orange vegetable with slimy insides. While American kids may think its embarrassing if their parents call them that out in public or in front of their friends, they aren't insulted.
Can I dare say that Moscow traffic may be worse then Northern Virginia traffic?
It is very common in Russia to see signs in public restrooms asking for people to throw their toilet paper into the trashcan instead of the toilet. (Not sure the reason on this...maybe bad sewer systems? In any case I now know why my husband's stepbrother used to do this. Thankfully I never saw it, but I remember my husband reaming him out for it.)

You can tell a Russian vs. an American by what shoes they are wearing. Russians will buy the latest style and sacrifice style over comfort while Americans generally go for efficiency and comfort. (I remember my Mom telling me this one about how she easily noticed foreigners by their shoes but I am sure it wasn't by style or brand.)
Various medications that are legal in the US are illegal in Russia. For example A.D.D. is a recognized disorder in Russia, but it is not treated. Ritalin is illegal in Russia.
Muscovites (residences that live in Moscow) will plan their holiday time around when the hot water is shut off, not by just warmer weather. The water is generally cut off for a week or two to check the pipes around the city. (Could you imagine if you didn't know about this?
Russians (as well as most of the world) follows the metric system. (My husband still thinks its stupid that America did not and has not yet adapted to this.)
D.C. Metro system vs. Moscow metro system...Moscow is far better and so beautiful!

Children in Russia have their Father's first name as their middle name. If the child is a boy, the middle name will end in either -evich, or -ovich. If the child is a girl, the ending will be -ovna, or -evna. For example if the Father was named Boris the sons middle name would be Borisovich and if he had a daughter her middle name would be Borisovna.
Russian adults are called by their first and middle names when talking to them. A simple greeting would be "Hello Sasha (nickname for Alexander) Borisovich."
Russians always try to bribe or bargain with you when purchasing things. (Now I know why my husband is the way he is, but we've gotten a lot of discounts that way. Doesn't hurt to ask or try right?)
Bedtime is different for children in Russia vs. the United States. Children tend to get home later and nap more in Russia. My husband's favorite show when he was little was Spokoynoy Nochi, Malyshi! (Good Night, Children), which is still one of the most popular children television shows and it airs around 9 PM.
Very common for Russians to cut their yard with a sickle. Could you imagine trimming your yard with one?

Russian families tend to space their children further then American families.
The term "pioneer" in the U.S. means something completely different in Russia. Americans associated a "pioneer" as those that traveled and settled in the West. The term "pioneer" in Russia is a member of the communist youth organization.
In Russian movie theaters don't have you choose a seat where you'd like once you're in the theater, you buy a seat like if you were you going to a play in a theater or see a game in the arenas.
It is very common in Russian cities to still hitchhike.

What Russians or Newly Immigrated Russians Think of the USA

When my husband' mother immigrated here, she was told by another Russian that clothes were so cheap here, that Americans never clean their clothes. Americans will throw out their clothes and buy new ones. I guess when you compare to Moscow prices to the average US prices...its partially true.
Russians are amazed that pay phones (if you can find one now days) have phone books and are surprised the phone books aren't stolen.
My husband and his Mom both remember when they got to the US about how rich this country was because they had lights on the roads (aka reflectors).
Store like Target, Walmart and K-Mart are AMAZING to most Russians. My husband's Mom remembered how "

Patience

2010-07-21T09:01:00.004-04:00

I am a lot of things. I am a Mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a Aunt. I am also very loving, loyal, honest, generous, shy when I'm in a new place, very outgoing when I am comfortable, sensitive, a fantastic multi-tasker and a decent baker. What I am not though is patient.

I was always in a hurry for the next thing. When I was growing up I couldn't wait for elementary school, then I couldn't wait to middle school, then high school and then finally college. Once I met the man of my dreams I couldn't WAIT until we got married then when I felt that little twinge of wanting to a be a Mom, I couldn't wait for that either (thankfully it happened quickly). Once I had my son I couldn't wait to see him roll over, to crawl or walk. Then I got to a point where I couldn't wait to hear him talk since his speech was a bit delayed causing very stressful issues at home, his school,and even friends and family's houses.

Now as I see my little baby growing up so quickly, I want to slow down time. I am gaining patience in his sometimes frustrating toddler antics. I remember to count to ten when he's throwing a tantrum (it really does work). I marvel at his little personality emerging. He's such a fun and cool person! However, I have gotten a little sad when he lately has been wanting to do things by himself like put on his shoes and his clothes. I know its a help to me, but it means my baby is growing up. I know he can't be a baby forever, but I have certainly learned and gained more patience in that area of my life. I want to soak it up for everything its worth and enjoy the present. I've honestly learned the true meaning of the little poem below (it still makes me tear up).

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I’ve learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”

While I am gaining patience in regards to my son, I am still not patient in other areas of life. I am a planner by nature. I want to know when things are going to happen and how quickly I can resolve the not so fun things in my life. Discovering we owe a huge bill this past month that we didn't know about...was very daunting and very unnerving. It is working itself out, but I want to pay down all of our bills and debt and its taking forever. We are knocking things down (i.e, my car last month was paid off), but paying things off is a very slow and tedious task. There are just other areas in my life that I wish I had more patience for!!!

I am trying to learn to have more patience. I am praying to God and counting to ten when things frustrate me. I've seen a little of God's warm hand touching my shoulder and helping me. I did get a 6% raise yesterday (still waiting for the paper work to clear so knock on wood). I am thankful I have a husband that can calm me down when I am frazzled. I am thankful for my beautiful, healthy and loving son. I would just like to be more thankful for patience. Can I have some please?

...Now I have the Guns N' Roses song in my head...

..."It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience..."

Silliness

2010-07-20T11:03:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I decided to have a slumber party with my son, Zaichik. Typically I don't sleep with my son unless he's sick (its just easier), but his sweetness in asking me to lay down with him after we said his prayers was just something this softy of a Mom could not resist. I reward good behavior and his behavior really has been wonderful lately, so it was another reason to give my son a once in a blue moon treat.

Once I told Zaichik we could have a slumber party, he was THRILLED. So much so that he took great care in making sure I had adequate blankets (yes my three year old tried to cover me up) and held my hand to make sure I wouldn't slip away. I was soaking up the moment (as was he) until I was reminded I indeed have an "all boy" child. BRRRRRRRRRP! My son has passed gas rather loudly. A moment passed by as we both paused in silence, he then turned to me and said "EWWWW Mama!!!!". WHAT?????? I decided to play along (despite the late hour) and call him out on it "Ewww Zaichik!!!!" He giggled his little boy giggle and we went back and forth like that for a good few minutes...until we were busted. My husband came in the room wondering what was going on and at such a late hour. We both giggled and I explained to him what was going on. He smiled, kissed us goodnight and went back to bed. I felt like a little kid at a sleep over and a parent coming in to tell us to "quit it". HAHA!

The sleep over was uneventful after that. We both passed out and slept through the night for the most part (minus a few checks to see if Mama was still in the bed). I was thankful though to get some sleep and that I wasn't kicked all night. The whole gas blame was hilarious. My son cracks me up.....what a stinker.

Anyone Heard Of These?

2010-07-15T20:19:00.003-04:00

I was an extensive reader when I was little. I often got in trouble reading in class and sometimes had notes sent home to my Mom. I just couldn't put a book down once I got into it. I LOVED reading about different characters and places. However, I WISH I had the Magic Tree House series when I little!

I love history and love diving into books that are based around history. These series are a mix of fiction & nonfiction about two children who find a Magic Tree House and learn how the books can transport them to magical lands and worlds. How neat is that? They are easy chapter books and something I will certainly be looking into once my son gets a bit older.

Have you heard of them? Any reviews you'd like to give?

Great Farm/Fun Waterpark/Loudoun Fun Bounce

2010-07-15T19:42:00.006-04:00

Last week my son turned three. As I have done in every birthday past, I took the day off to spend with him. Since his birthday fell on a Thursday, I decided to make a long weekend full of birthday fun and boy did we have a great time! I won't go into the niddy griddy of every birthday festivity, but I wanted to share a few great things we did to celebrate his birthday that would be fun to do with your own children just in case you haven't heard about it.

On Thursday last week my son and I headed off to Great Country Farm. It was a rather warm day, but man oh man there was plenty of things to do! The admission price isn't so bad and if you are a frequent visitor ( if you live close enough I totally would take up the offer) you could get a Fan of the Farm pass, which essentially is a seasons pass. There were hay rides, produce you could pick on your own (this time of year there was blackberries, peaches and apricots), a outdoor moon bounce, animals to feed, and a couple of nice play areas. My son loves play houses right now and loved nothing more then go from house to house as there were several of them! We didn't get to see everything but I was later told there is a corn bin and some really big slides. Both my son and I were completely pooped after that. I recommend bringing a change of clothes for your kid and even perhaps for you...we were also quite dirty, but dirty in my book equals lots of fun!!!

The following day we headed out to day 2 of our birthday extravaganza to Volcano Island Waterpark. The admission to the water park was not bad and it was perfect for young kids to play in. If you are a large water park enthusiast, this place is not for you. There are three separate areas, a 1 1/2 foot play area that has various buckets that dump water and a small kiddo slide. The second play area is not a pool, but more of a fountain play area for kids that may be a little timid to get into a pool. The third play area is a large pool that has a nice ramp (my son LOVED walking up and down the ramp), has a slide in a shallow area, another slide in a four foot deep area and then two nice size tube slides at the far end of the pool. The pool was clean and the snack bar was decent enough for a pool side lunch or snack. I will certainly be returning there again!

Lastly, and this is something to plan ahead, we had my son's third birthday party with all his friends and family at the Loudoun Fun Bounce. The price again was reasonable once you add up how much it actually costs to have a kid birthday party. They provide things like juice, plates, napkins, invitations, and a few various items. However, it was nice to have some extra plates and cups. I would also highly recommend bringing bottled water, something I accidentally forgot. I believe every kid had a good time and I think most of the adults did too!

If you have any great places or things to do with your kids please share!!!!

Tomorrow

2010-07-07T14:40:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow my son will be turning THREE. I can't fathom that three years has passed by so quickly in literally a blink of an eye. Three years ago this day I was expecting to go into Loudoun Hospital to induce my son (blood pressure issues) at 7pm. I considered it lucky because the date was 7/7/2007 at 7pm. How neat was that? My husband thought there was an inkling of a chance that I could push out my first baby in less then five hours. While some are lucky to be able to have fast labor/deliveries, I laughed. I was just glad that I was going to finally meet my son.

My gorgeous, beautiful son arrived at 1:40pm on July 8th. He weighed in at 6lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. He was the most beautiful thing I ever saw and I never seen my husbands eyes marvel at the wonder and miraculous moment in seeing the birth of his son. If I had to describe his facial expression it would be like a young child seeing the wonder of Disney World for the first time. So much was going through his head. We teared up a bit but couldn't take our eyes off this miracle we created. My husband had his son, his legacy as he calls him. My husband desperately wanted at least one son in the worst way. I was just glad to have a healthy baby in my arms.

I remember watching the beauty of my son for the first hour when grandparents, my sister and my brother in law made it to our room. I know they said congratulatory things, wanted to help, but I honestly can't recall anything except to just look at my son in that first few hours. His eyes were wide open and aware of everything around him. He was ready to go...much like he is now. He's always rearing to go and do something. Once I got home, the first week was hard on me as I am sure it is hard on any new mother recuperating. We didn't have any help, which was a surprise to both of us, but my husband as always pushes through and took care of a newborn (he never cared for a baby in his life) and me at the same time. I am to this day impressed he took on the job so seamlessly.

My sons baby little hands and tiny baby giggles have grown into a full fledged kid, running, jumping, learning his manners (his "thank you" is to die for) and laughs at the silliest things. He is so independent and such a little firecracker. While he looks like his Dad quite a bit, he certainly has gained the wild personality I had as a child. I "get" him. It sounds weird to say because Moms should "get" their children, but with so much of the same personality shared between us, I don't try to tone down his excitement or enthusiasm like I think a lot of parents would had they not "got" their kid. I remember those same feelings, so I do my best to direct them in a positive way.

I am thankful to God for my son. He is the handful of handfuls, but I don't know what I would do if I had a timid child. How boring it would be! He's full of personality and full of life. I marvel at the miracle he is. How special he is. Knowing that I was gifted to raising this child to love God, to love people and to excel in life is just a huge but awesome responsibility. I hope I can live up to being the Mom he wants me to be. I love him so very much. I just can't believe my baby is growing up so quickly. Happy Birthday little man. Your Mom loves you so very very very much.

Moving?

2010-07-07T12:46:00.002-04:00

While I like staying at home a lot of times, especially during big
winter storms, I am a person usually on the move during the weekends.
Ask my husband how much of a motor butt I am and feel the NEED to get
out of the house. Of course its nice staying home from time to time
and hardly do anything, but those times are rare. I also find myself
wanting to move and if it wasn't for being so close with each of our
parents, I think we would...given the opportunity.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike this town or the rush, rush of
everything. I obviously wish there was less traffic, less rush, but
there are nice perks like seeing live hockey games, endless stores to
shop at and museums right around the corner. I just feel the need to
explore and often feel at home at places in places I have
never lived at or even been to. It just feels right. I am not saying
I want to hunker down in another town for the rest of my life and feel
settled. I may just want to live there enough to throw myself into
culture of where ever I am at. I swear if I didn't know my family history so
well, I would swear I had gypsy blood, but I don't. They fascinate me
though.

Two random places I currently want to LIVE (yes live not travel to) is
Miami and Moscow. Random and totally opposite right? Miami is a
frequent vacation spot for my husband and I. He lived there before he
immigrated to the United States and we love it. We almost did move
there, but life happened and we didn't. Its still on our minds though.
We love that like the NOVA area you can be as busy as you want or as
laid back as you like (if you lived a little further out). The main
draw is the warm, beautiful weather and the gorgeous beaches. I also
LOVE palm trees. Nothing comforts me more then seeing
palm trees sway softly in a ocean breeze. Miami just fits with me.

I also would love to live in Russia for a while. I am not set on
living in Moscow, but living in a city rich with historical events and
a culture would be pretty cool. My new favorite blog American Girls
In Moscow is just fascinating to me. Having two Americans girls
growing up in Moscow, learning their culture and the HUGE differences
in what Americans life vs. Russians life is very interesting to me.
For example something as simple as car bumper stickers is a huge
cultural thing. In Russia, bumper stickers are rare and the author
wrote how Russians visiting the US would have a little culture shock
seeing cars with "my kid is an honor roll at...." or "University of
...." or even political bumper stickers. It just isn't a thing that
Russians do. Maybe thats why my husband is against them? : ) Don't
get me wrong though, I don't want to live in Russia for the rest of my
life, I just want to experience it for a while. I want more then a
vacation there.

I was raised to appreciate culture and maybe thats my draw to living
and exploring other places. Although I have seen and done a lot, my
husband has seen and done so much as well. Think about this, he is
the only peer that I know that immigrated to the United States. He
has lived in a communist socialist country for most his childhood and
immigrated to the country as a pre-teen. He then learned a WHOLE other
culture in the way of doing things (even as small as totally different
food), plus another language and because he moved to Miami he got to
be pretty fluent in Spanish as well. I am amazed by that and feel
proud of the strength, courage that it took for him and his family to
get immersed in culture. I just have desire to do the same. I want to
learn. I am not afraid of new cultures or discovering new things that
I think many people just want to stick to their old ways of doing
things or what feels completely comfortable to them. I want to learn and the best way you can learn is by living.

If you could move ANYWHERE, even just temporary, where would you go?

Old Photos

2010-07-01T13:22:00.003-04:00

Over the last six months or so I have been slowly scanning in old photos of my husband and I in our younger years. Some of the photos were when we were in high school and some of them were when we just started to date. I've come to realize....I need to wear make up more often. HAHA!

I know I've changed in the last ten years. I know that even though I am still short, I know longer have the 110lb body. I'd like to lose more weight, but overall am comfortable with the way I look. I just get annoyed about my closet thinking otherwise. I still have one sexy pair of jeans (a must in any woman's closet) and a few tops that you wear when you don't have a baby hugging your hip. I just look at myself, think of the girl I was a few years ago that would DIE if I was seen out in public with no make up on and laugh. I am obviously more comfortable in my own skin. I don't fret on what others think of me as much or really care that the guy down the hall thinks I'm "hot". I only have one man to impress, and well I've already won him over. However, sometimes I think as a Mom I need to do a little bit more for me. I think something is said when you put on a new sexy shirt, primp your hair a certain way or put on a new shade of lip stick that makes you skip to a more sassier beat. My want in having a sassier beat doesn't always have the time, but I think more often that maybe this Mama should wake up earlier or take the time to feel that way more often.

I am happy with the way I look. Times have changed from those old photos of worrying what everyone else was thinking, as it was the reason why I always wore make up out in public and dressed cute 99% of the time. Its what every kid our age in their teens. I just want to do it more for me this time. I'd like to have a little new swagger in my step when I walk and give myself that own positive energy of looking great when I put the extra effort. As a hard working Mom, I think I owe it to myself. Why the hell not?

What makes you feel sassy? ; )

Dinner Its Ready

2010-06-29T21:19:00.003-04:00

For the past few days I have been making dinner for my husband. This is not a huge deal to a lot of couples, but when your husband generally is the cook of the family...its pretty big for me. In the past when I've cooked, I typically stayed close to what I feel comfortable with making dishes I made along side my Mom when I lived at home such as meatloaf, spaghetti...and velvetta shells and cheese. Okay I know velvetta doesn't necessarily count as a hard dish because it takes almost no effort, but you basically get that I don't venture out into making anything out of my comfort zone... until recently.

Yesterday I made a yummy chicken dinner that took hardly any effort. I peeled and diced up potatoes and then placed them on a cookie sheet. I mixed the potatoes up with a little olive oil, salt and Italian seasoning and put it in the oven at 350 (cook time was 1 hour). Next, I fried up some chicken in olive oil by dipping it in flour, then egg and finally bread crumbs/parmesan cheese. Once it was browned on both sides I popped it into the oven at 350 for thirty minutes. I threw some canned vegetables in the microwave and presto...we had a yummy dinner. My husband was a bit surprised and happy with dinner being ready when he got home. I was happy because as simple as it was...I never made it and my esteem in cooking skills significantly shot up. I wasn't cooking the same old thing and it turned out pretty damn good.

Today while I was at work I was wondering what I should make for dinner tonight once again. I figured since I was planning a little ahead that I could make a run to the food store to get any necessary ingredients and surf the web for a new recipe. After debating what I should do, I decided to make a recipe I've been meaning to make for a while....Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana. Its no secret that a lot of favorite recipes from popular restaurants are out there on the web, and I knew how much my husband LOVES this soup. Once that was decided, I was on a roll to make something else I haven't made before, Herring or Purple salad. This certainly isn't a dish for everyone because you are eating pickled herring, but as my husband is from Russia, this is a common dish and something he LOVES. This dish is also something else I have never made. Finally I decided on something that both of us loves, pelmeni. This is also another Russian staple, but if I, the worlds most pickiest eater will eat it, then I think 99% of the population would eat it. Its delicious! It took some time, some sliced fingers (I'm not always steady with a knife) but it was nearly ready by the time the hubby got home. My husband walked in the door with a smile, smelling the aroma coming from the kitchen and had NO idea what I made. All he saw was a pot on the stove (the soup) as the Herring salad was already cooling in the refrigerator and I was not yet ready to boil the pelmeni. After settling in, he came over and investigated the pot and to his surprise....it contained his favorite soup. He knew what it was almost immediately once he saw the contents. A smile that I can only describe as "worth every cut and effort to make him the dinner" shined on his face, but he did not yet know about the other surprise. I opened the refrigerator and he could not believe I made another favorite of his plus this was ANOTHER dish I have never made. He was shocked. I told him after we sat down a bit to let the pelmeni boil so we could be ready for dinner that I bought him some french bread...he loves soaking up juices of soups or sauces with wonderful, fresh crunchy bread and another one of his amazing smiles of pure thanks crept over his face. He was touched, appreciative and it made everything so worth it.

I am not sure what I will make next, but with my successes over the past few days, I think I'll try to make some new dishes outside of my comfort zone. I don't think I'm ready for five star gourmet cooking, but it has also gave me some new confidence that I can cook...even impress our family cook. When your dishes turn out well and its appreciated, it makes every effort worth while.

What are you cooking for dinner?

Yesterday's Post, Last Nights Dream

2010-06-25T09:23:00.002-04:00

First, I really enjoyed for my own reflection on yesterday's post. It was something I am not overly open with though I am sure a lot of people know anyways, but I wanted to reflect on why I first went to JROTC and why people that were apart of it were so important to me. I am very happy and thrilled for SGM's new journey in life and hopefully we can meet up for lunch soon. That being said, with my days reflection on my past...I ended up having a dream about my past that scared the living day lights out of me.

In my dream last night I was at some sort of bowling ally. I haven't been to one in ages, so I am not sure why I even thought about it, but it was an open room that I was stuck in with a lot of people...including the old ex-boyfriend. In this dream I was the scared, little girl again that didn't know how to get out. I remember looking for doors that I could run out of, but there weren't any. Ex-boyfriend acted as though we were together...like he did for a year and a half AFTER we had broken up in high school. He held and lead me forcefully by my neck like he used to in school when he was annoyed with me through this bowling ally to find a quiet spot to talk. Once we were at whatever location he wanted, he started talking to me as if everything was fine (the Dr. Jerkyl/Mr. Hyde thing all over again). In the dream I was timid, scared...again a lot like how I remembered I used to be. I amused him like a hostage does to her captor by saying the things I knew he wanted me to say to him. The dream ended with him leaving out the door to catch a ride, and left on his own terms...not mine. I woke up mad at myself for not changing my own dream and scared because I wasn't yet with reality. I also woke up...nauseated and even threw up once I started to get ready.

With dreams, I figure there is sometimes a warning sign. I know this sounds absurd to some, but I just think that maybe sometimes there are either meanings behind it or something I just need to face more head on. I became concerned with knowing where this guy was. It was only a few years ago when he showed up at my parents door step and tried to see me while my husband (then boyfriend, maybe he was my fiance then) told him to never come back. My husband described my ex-boyfriend as giving him a once over like he was sizing him up (I can imagine it easily as I have seen him do it a hundred times before) and finally left begrudgingly defeated. As insane as it sounds I wanted to know where he was, so I googled him...he's in Colorado. I'd rather him in Bangkok or something like that, but he's far away enough for me.

I'm left feeling a bit uneasy today. I am sure some of you have had dreams that have shook you to your core in either feeling angry, sad or scared once you woke up. My nightmare...dream...whatever you want to call it was once a reality for me. It was a long time ago, but reliving it last night really scared me. Thankfully the weekend will be full of friends, family and good times so I can concentrate on my life at the present, which is happy, loving and safe.

Have a great weekend everyone!

JROTC...and SGM

2010-06-24T09:33:00.004-04:00

A few years ago...okay maybe more then that, I attended a rather "posh" high school. I didn't think it was at first, but as I was later pointed out that students drove cars like BMWs and vintage, newly restored mustangs to school...it was a bit yuppie and I had to agree. High school was fine for me at first, I had plenty of friends and even followers as people will say I had my own "posse". Its amusing to think that I had that back then, since then I morphed to be a lot more of a quiet person. However, as most things go, things changed.

Although I had my own little posse, I wouldn't say I was popular. I was liked by different cliques, but I wasn't with the "in crowd". It really didn't matter to me. However at one of the parties I attended, things changed. I met a guy. This guy was popular, funny, played varsity football, teachers even seemed to love him, and he was cute. He also took a great liking to me, which was odd since I wasn't with "his crowd". As most high school romances go, we started seeing each other between classes, kissed when teachers weren't looking and hung out on weekends. He was my boyfriend and I was his girlfriend. I was truly infatuated with his charm and dare say, his popularity. Being able to do and see things I normally couldn't do because I didn't have that sort of popularity was a bit appealing. As our high school romance grew, I spent a lot less time with my friends. He even would tell me how I really didn't need them because they were lower then me and I could hang out with his friends. I rebelled with that of course, but soon found my free time became absorbed in being with my boyfriend. What I didn't realize was, gradually this guy's dark side was secretly emerging behind closed doors. He often drank, which looking back at it is quite sad for a 15/16 year old to do. I also thought I was in love.

Slowly but surely I was not allowed to hang out with my friends at all. I was told they were bad for me because they were freaks or whatever negative light he wanted to put them in. I was torn between loving this man that I trusted and cared for or my snarling friends that thought I was an idiot for being with him. Since he offered some comfort, I ran to him. Then the name calling started. At first I was seen with a guy friend, a person who I was strictly platonic with. I was so naive in high school I didn't know all that much about sex as it was. However, I was deemed a slut a few times because said boyfriend didn't know this guy. I protested of course, but in the back of my mind, "I loved him". Like most abuse, it escalated and more then once was shoved down, screamed at, and belittled. This guy was like Dr. Jerkyl and Mr. Hyde. I just wasn't sure who I'd see on a day to day basis. Then he hit me. I watched after school specials and lifetime movies and I know inside I was screaming "RUN!!!", but I didn't. Until you are in that position, where you think you love somebody and want to help them because you're just that loyal, you just can't fathom the torn emotions I had. I was between loving this man and hating him for the cruelty he inflicted on me every other day.

It was then a mutual friend I had before my relationship who also happened to be friends with my boyfriend came up to me knowing what was going on and told me I needed out. I saw no way in getting even an inch of freedom. He then told me about a class he was attending once every other day at a different local high school, it was JROTC (Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps). I remember clear as day looking at him, thinking of that freedom I'd have once every other day out of the hands of this guy and imagining how wonderful it would be. I agreed and was gung ho for going there in the Fall since doing it now was a little late as school was letting out in a matter of days. I knew I could talk my parents into letting me go, as my family had military history and understood the meaning of what JROTC was all about. I also knew I could lie to my boyfriend and tell him my parents were making me take the class, and their decision far out cried even his reign.

The summer flew by, and while my boyfriend HATED the idea of me going to a different school, he had no say. My schedule was in print and he watched me leave on the bus with a few other guys. What I didn't know was that my friend who was suppose to be in JROTC with me opted out of the class. I was alone as a sophomore with three rowdy, power hungry seniors. Oye. Once on the bus, I took a seat in the first few rows near the driver. Watching the seniors eye ball me in the back of the bus was nothing I wanted to contend with. I wasn't in the mood. From the back I heard, "Where do you think you're going little girl." Please...if these jerks really wanted to get to me then they had another thing coming. I was dealing with Satan back at school and these guys could hold no light to him. Plus I was also Satan's girlfriend and mess with me...then they were going to get it and they knew it. I remember hearing them work their way to the front of the bus and questioning me. They didn't scare me. Was I a bit nervous? Yes. I didn't know what I was in for at the other school.

Fifteen minutes later the bus pulled up to the school. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I had a preppy Abercrombie plaid skirt on, a button up top, knee highs and clunky shoes. The outfit resembled a catholic school uniform, just a bit sexier. My hair was even curled beautifully, because with my boyfriend...I always had to look my best. I "represented" him. The school I was at was MILES from the preppy, "posh" surroundings I was used to. Kids were outside blasting music, running around like animals and I remember watching two security guards slam their golf cart between two picnic benches because they thought their golf cart would make it through. Yup, I certainly wasn't at my high school. I was at a nut house in comparison. I smirked thinking "this will be interesting". I got a few looks from the other kids and a few remarks but I paid no attention. I followed the seniors down the concrete steps to the back of the school since I didn't know where the classroom was. They paid me no mind until we reached the doors that lead into the classroom. A senior pointed at another door further down the hall and said to me that I couldn't enter through the door he was going through...I was only a LET 1 (a first year JROTC student, which also means Leadership Education and Training). I complied...rolling my eyes. The rest of the day went as a blur. I remember meeting SGM and LTC. LTC was a bit interesting. I'll just leave it as that. SGM was energetic, witty and full of life. I liked him immediately. He scared the crap out of me the first day with this new military jargon and high vamped energy, but I liked him. He was certainly a fun character.

As the school year progressed, I started liking JROTC more and more. I relished in my every other day freedom like it was my one chance out of solitary confinement and I was able to breathe a little. I met the most interesting characters and through JROTC, we all started a bond. I even met a new guy who I'll name D.F. for the sake of this blog. D.F. was a nice looking senior, he had a car which was always appealing to younger high school kids, was full of life, and had quite a rebellious side. He also liked me, which didn't hurt.

Through the bond the kids had in JROTC, SGM's ever going motivated personality and D.F.'s unending, positive attention, I grew strong. I grew so strong that I wasn't the scared, frightened girl who was going to stand for getting belittled and physically abused every other day. As lame as it sounds, I had my back up and my place of refuge and I knew no matter what I had to get out of the relationship and if anything I still had JROTC. What a lot of people didn't know was, the school I attended most of the time wouldn't help me. I asked security and teachers alike, but they all thought I was playing around because they saw me talking to him. What they didn't understand was, I was telling him to leave me alone and I was desperately trying to get away from him. They also really liked this jerk of a boyfriend. I was stuck. If school authority can't help you in school, then what could? Still, I broke it off. I was done with him. It didn't stop him from hounding me, giving grief to my ever forgiving friends or even stalking me though. I remember on one such occasion, my ex boyfriend had got a car and followed me to the school I was attending JROTC at. I remember running inside WISHING he would walk in. I had a room full of upper LETs and a SGM that would of took him out by his ear like the little boy he was.

JROTC wasn't all about this boyfriend. This class taught me more then drills and how to fire a daisy air rifle (which was amazing and fun to do in school). I flew in helicopters with the door wide open over Ft. A.P. Hill. I repelled off towers, which with my fear of heights is amazing. I learned about giving respect as well as earning it. I learned how to be on the look out for security and other administrative staff, while watching a bunch of cadets move our LTC car between two other parked cars so he could get out until one of them moved. We later showed SGM and at first were scared about his reaction, but he later laughed and didn't tell on us (how cool was that). I even remember driving out of the parking lot (okay we skipped too but it was a team effort) with the XO in his Dad's Porsche.It was a class that bonded me with so many life long friends. I learned through D.F. and a few other boyfriends I had at the high school I attended JROTC at that guys could be kind, loving and generous without being evil and abusive. I learned through SGM that teachers really do care and great teachers will protect you, motivate you and guide you not only in regards to education, but also in life lessons. Without JROTC I don't know what would of happened to me in high school. It was a little piece of my childhood/teenage years, but what it did for me and the people that were apart of it is something invaluable.

***

I am writing this whole blog because this is my SGMs last day of being a JROTC Army Instructor. We talked a bit on the phone and exchanged contact information. I haven't spoken to him in almost ten years, but I have thought about him often and all the lessons he gave to each of his cadets. Talking to him reminded me of a bitter but wonderful memory of my past. A past that started up a little shakey with a lot of fears, but blossomed into something wonderful. To be honest his always energetic voice brought a few tears to my eyes. Teachers never know the kind of impact they have on their students. It could be a negative experience or they, like SGM could be as admirable in leaving little footprints ingrained in the souls of their former students. I wish you luck SGM and whatever you do in the future, I am sure you will keep motivating and encouraging those around you.

HOORAH

To Be Thankful

2010-06-18T12:25:00.002-04:00

I know its June and typically blogs like this will talk about what to be thankful as we draw closer to the Thanksgiving holiday, but I think when you've had pretty crappy days and things that don't necessarily go your way, its good to see that there is something to be thankful for no matter how bad your day has been.

I can't always depend on everyone, but what I can depend on is the love I have from my husband and my son. For that I am thankful for. I am thankful that I have a partner in life that will walk through fire for me, that will do his best to make me happy and really is a true teammate in life. We've had our ups and our downs more or less with the world...not each other, but it has made us stronger, more aware of the world and smarter. Not everyone has a man that is compassionate and wonderful as he is and I can't thank God enough for bringing him into my life...however oddly.

My son is my miracle. I look at him and marvel about what my husband, myself and God created. He is perfect and beautiful and just hilarious. He can frustrate me to no end in the most inopportune times, but no one can make me smile and laugh like he can. A grinning smile, a thoughtful gesture or even a "hey Mama" can melt all the bad that happened earlier in the day. He truly is my little light, my firecracker.

Material things are great and I am thankful for them...but those all to quickly become yesterday's thoughts or fade in the past. Things like cool phones, new DVDs and whatever next great thing is fine, but I'm thankful more so for the two people that matter most in my life.

Lastly I am thankful for my ever growing connection and relationship I have with God. I've yelled at him and often asked "why", but I constantly feel the welcoming, forgiving arms of love from him. To the faithless thats a hard thing to grasp, but I know what I feel. I know through prayer, through tears, through a thought of "just hold me in your grace for a minute" that he listens. Like a parent to a child it may not be what I want all the time, but eventually it all works out. I know God is good.

Paid The Car Loan Off!!!!

2010-06-16T12:04:00.003-04:00

Like most normal Americans, my family has a bit of debt here and there. Its not fun and it eats up our fun money so after a few discussions between my husband and I, we decided to knock things off one by one. It has been grueling and there were minor sacrifices to be made, but I am finally seeing an end result...we paid off one of our cars.

I can't say how wonderful it is that we have one of our big loans paid off. Its freeing really. I am one of those list makers and organizers that once I can cross something minor off a to do list or an expense list...I feel a tremendous amount of satisfaction, but being able to cross off something huge is well...HUGE.

Obviously our newly found money each month won't be for fun and interesting things. It will go towards the next thing we need to pay off, but the domino effect is growing because we have extra funds to pay off the next thing then we had previously. Its a slow gradual process, but we're getting there and today I have to give my little family a pat on the back and smile knowing I can cross another thing, a big thing, off my list.

Its A Hard Knock Life...for Mommies

2010-06-11T12:53:00.002-04:00

I was pondering at the idea of how the world views mothers and how we view them ourselves. Imagine in your head what a mother looks like. I have three images, one my own mother, another a ideal 50's housewife/mother and then the modern Mom. In my own mind, at least what I think...I interestingly am a mix of all three of them.

My Mom is a super Mom. Seriously, I have no idea how my Mom did so much for my sister and I when we were little. She was the type of Mom that worked part time for spending money, took us to lessons, drove us to school when we were younger (if we wanted), had dinner on the table at 5, her house was usually always clean (with no help) and she decorated for almost every holiday. She rocks. I also knew and I am sure my sister knew, that in her book we were number one. No job, no person and no thing was more important then we were. While I am not everything my Mom was (though I try like hell), I do put my son first above anything. I take him to school each day, race home from work to be with him, make sure he has something at least nutritious on his plate for dinner and decorate when I remember and if there is enough time for holidays because thats just fun for a kid. Now is my house immaculate? Heck no. It is sanitary though. There are toys that need to be put away, laundry that needs to folded and dust settling on our bookshelves. I just work full time and other then my husband I have no help. However, I think I took the most important lesson from her...that my kid matters most in the world and everything else is very very very secondary.

I am not much like a 50's housewife, but I like baking, doing sweet things for my husband, and manage the schedule of everything for the household and the people in it quite nicely. I don't wear dresses. I don't stay at home all day. I wear make up sometimes, but its more for me then to make my husband think I'm hot. I am also work as a team with my husband...its not all on me. However, I do think the image of the 50's housewife gives most of us a relaxed feeling of motherhood because it looked so easy. Haha.

Then there is the modern Mom. When I imagine her, I imagine a woman with a messy pulled up pony tail to be fixed at a later time, wearing a business suit, juggling five hundred things at once and some how finding time for herself. I am most of these. My hair is usually needing to be fixed...even if it just was. I don't really own a business suit and am in no way chic. I do juggle about a million things during the day and I do try to find time for myself every so often. I know some modern Moms that go to the gym every day. I honestly don't have time for that. I also don't go to salons as much as I should or would like. Pedicures for me are a treat, not an upkeep thing for me. If I had extra money I generally don't spend it on me as the order for things we need is kid, house, husband and then me. Its not that anyone set that precedence...its just the way it is and I am fine with that.

Being a Mom is the most wonderful thing in the world. I couldn't be any happier about it. I love seeing my son's smiling face and watching my husband play with him. As a Mom I try to do it all and try to be those Moms I imagine in my head. I try to juggle, plan, organize, bake, clean, cook, and play. I want to be everything that I dreamed of for my son. He deserves everything good in life because our babies are the only little miracles most of us will ever be apart of and they are AMAZING. Being a Mom is hard. Its hard as hell. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy Anniversary!

2010-06-10T10:32:00.004-04:00

I thought I would write a blog between my anniversary blogs, but work, kid, home, weekend events and a good book got in the way with doing that. June just has been absolutely crazy! However, I can't forget to blog about one of the most important days of my life, the marriage to my husband.

I remember all to well the feelings I had four years ago around this time (10:35am). I was getting may hair done in the salon with my Mom and sister. My husband I suppose was hanging out with his best friend/best man at our apartment in Ashburn. I remember feeling nervous, ancy and excited. It was a tough time for my mother in law who months before through a series of events separated from her husband. However nervous I was, the thought of finally getting to marry my best friend of four years was going to be amazing.

I can still recall the moment I started to walk down the aisle with my Dad and saw my now husband. His eyes were shining...I think he was about to cry and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Call it nerves or call it being in the moment, but for those few minutes, he was the only one in the church. The ceremony went by fairly quickly even though it was a 45 minute ceremony. Nothing mattered with my husband by my side. I remember also trying not to kiss him because that had to be saved at the end. After the ceremony was over we danced like crazy. I think between us we maybe didn't dance two songs and that was for getting a drink or running to the bathroom. I remember my feet aching for a day and a half after that but it was so fun and I wish I could relive the reception all over again.

If I could tell myself four years ago some advice, I would tell myself to relax a little more, that things would fall in place and to remind your fiance he BETTER drink almost all the wine in the chalice that we had to share as part of our wedding ceremony. I hate drinking wine and I still remember during that part looking in the chalice and seeing it half full and there was no way I could get out of not drinking the rest of the wine. Had I been able to hand it off or smack my husbands arm for doing that...I totally would have.

The stuff I didn't know then but know now is, my husband is more patient then I thought. He cleans and designs rooms very well. He makes the most beautiful baby...as well as the most feisty one and he also loves and protects his family with passion.

I love you babies. Happy Anniversary!

Upcoming Anniversary

2010-06-04T09:10:00.005-04:00

Next week my husband and I will be celebrating our four year wedding anniversary and I have to say I am just as much in love with him as I was EIGHT years ago when we first started dating as I am now...actually more in love with the wonderful man he is. I guess one would think that the girly crush would fade or that I would be annoyed by some of the things that I found cute eight years ago that wasn't so cute now, but I'm not. I still find the same things he does cute. I look at him and think with a little girlish shrill, "God I love him!" The man has won me over mind, body and soul.

I can recall the early days our dating and thinking him to be the most calm, confident and straight faced person that I know. He still is. He also had some insane guts with speaking his mind about anything and going for whatever he wanted. I admire that about him and from time to time he still shocks me with that characteristic of his. I can still remember a cold day when I was with a group of my boyfriends friends along with my boyfriend walking through Reston Town Center. We decided to stop by the ice cream store where my husband used to manage called Lee's, but then he was only a mere friend and someone who fancied me and I secretly returned the same feelings. For whatever reason the guys decided to stay outside...maybe to smoke or something, but I hate the cold and went inside the empty store alone. I remember my husband watching me walk up to the tall glass counter and he leaned over giving me a boyish grin. His hat was turned slightly sideways, had earrings in both his ears and the purple shirt he wore was stained slightly with drips of ice cream. He started talking to me about various things leaning over the deli counter. He was beautiful and had my attention. The moment between us was quickly broken up with my then boyfriend and his friends coming through the door and the conversation went to cars, motorcycles and whatever else was interesting to 17/18 year old boys.

Now should I have been grossed out by his sick ass pick up line? Yes, but he didn't really mean it...or did he? I took it as his way of trying to push my buttons but more importantly he was speaking his mind about anything and going for whatever he wanted. He obviously wanted me. How much he did I was not sure at that time. It wasn't until the break up with my then boyfriend, us starting to date each other, our falling out, multiple nasty things that I said to him which I do regret that I really found out that the man loved me. That at 19 years old he was without a doubt passionately but maturely (which we all know is big for a 19 year old boy) in love with me. That when he did ask me to marry him the first time...while I was still dating another guy that he really wanted to marry me. I took it as a joke...I mean I was still dating another guy. He saw in me what he dreamed of in a spouse, as someone who was loyal, loving, nurturing, caring and shorter then him. For me it just took a while longer to see him that way. However the man, my man is loved through every freckle, every hair, every fiber of his being.

I can't tell you enough how often I'll glance over at him remembering an old memory or just thinking how cute he looks with his tosseled hair. Usually he catches me mid stare and asks me "what"?!? Its always followed by a grin and a girlish laugh. Its love. He probably thinks I'm losing it.

He's a passionate man that fights and loves his family tremendously. Once or twice some people have tried coming between the Papa bear and his family...and lets just say the claws came out with tremendous vigor to protect his family. More over he is a true team mate in life. He cooks, cleans, takes care of our son as equally as I do. Okay...he cooks way more but he's really an awesome cook. I don't have the mad skills he has. No matter how I try...even making the sandwiches just like he has done for me in the past...he just does it better. I also can't count how many times I come home to a newly designed home. He's a furniture mover, and finds random but cool things so my house is forever changing. I am never quite sure what I'll come home to.

In the eight years I have been with him I have learned a few things about him. He hates it when I put one dirty knife in the sink if everything else is clean and put away. Mascara is certainly not for him. He loves movies like Grease and Parent Trap. He does not like to be awaken to tickling and he looks hotter in a sports car then in a SUV. But more seriously, he is passionate, kind, loving, generous, thoughtful, beautiful, patient, clean (some men are just dirty so its a plus), strong, brave, sincere, a great Dad and a loving husband. The four years of marriage has been a roller coaster but so much damn fun and I can't wait to add decades to that number.

I love you babes!

Baggage

2010-06-03T14:09:00.003-04:00

About a week ago my husband stumbled on a dating game show called "Baggage" while flipping channels. I was paying no interest to the show while folding laundry until I heard bizarre confession of contestants revealing weird or horrible things about themselves. For example one girl confessed she likes to keep her bikini wax strips because she likes the look of them. Um...what?

Typically I am not into these shows, especially when they are hosted by Jerry Springer. However, I couldn't resist this part of trash television. I was drawn in. The premise of the show essentially is one guy or one girl choosing between one of three possible matches in three rounds. During the first round the three contestants will reveal a small piece of their baggage. On the second round the three contestants will step aside while the host reveal a bit of bigger baggage about the three contestants anonymously. It is up to the guy or girl to choose which piece of baggage is too big for them and then the players will reveal which piece of baggage belongs to them and one of them will go home. Then in the third round the players will reveal their biggest piece of baggage and girl or guy will eliminate a final person leaving their desired match. Finally the girl or guy will reveal a piece of their own baggage to the person that revealed three pieces of their own baggage. It is up to that person to decide if their baggage is too big or not.

I know the usual normal person does not try out for these shows and of course the producer wants to make "good tv" so he picks the weirdest people for these shows, but it sure as hell makes me glad that I am out of the dating scene. I can not believe that people will reveal things on national television like the following:

- Being bad in bed
- Collecting bikini wax strips
- Had sex with over 2000 people
- Posed nude in a magazine
- Is a seasonal bisexual (one that is attracted to the same sex only certain times during the year, which amazingly Jerry Springer has never heard of)
- Likes to pee in the sink
- Slept with two sisters on the same night

The list goes on...and while I don't like shows like the Jerry Springer show or really bad trash television...I laugh watching the show. I just can't believe people and Jerry's funny commentary on the contestants. Oye.

All Is Fair In The Toddler World

2010-05-28T09:55:00.002-04:00

Often I call my family "the circus", especially when we ALL arrive at my Mom's house. It gets a little chaotic for the first ten minutes until we settle in. I call it a circus because we have my husband, who resembles a bear, a child that is silly and does all sorts of stunt devil tricks much to the dismay of his Mama, a ring master (aka me) and what circus would not be complete without a few poodles? Sometimes in the middle of winter when I don't feel like shaving my legs every day, we even have a guest appearance of "the hairy lady". Okay ewww...but ladies we all slack on shaving our legs from time to time. In a nutshell, we have the makings of a beginner circus.

The two poodles we have are old and have been with me for years. I got one when I was 13 and the other when I was 17. They are old men, but still lively like any puppy is. One is more dominant even though he is younger then the other. My oldest little guy is very submissive, flamboyant (I swear if he had an outfit choice it would be tight shorts, a sequence top and cute accessories to match) and man is he tiny weighing in about six pounds. The alpha male often dominants the old man with getting first dibs on most things be it food, where he wants to go, etc., This morning was no exception as my son was giving out treats to my dogs, and who got theirs first but the alpha male. However, my son is beginning this "fairness" stage and quickly recognized that the alpha male was going to try and steal one of the old dogs treats right from underneath him. My son stepped in like a parent does to referee their kids and said, "No dog dog. Go away." with his little arm outstretched so the alpha male couldn't get to his companions treat.

It was a little simple action of fairness that my son recognized and I saw that as something pretty cool that he is recognizing the injustices of this world and what is right. Simply put, I am proud. Is that silly? I wish I could scoop them all up in my arms and hug them for a while. How I love my circus. To me, its the greatest show on Earth.

Birthday Ideas

2010-05-26T10:21:00.002-04:00

Lately I have started looking for presents that are age appropriate and cool for my son’s third birthday. It couldn’t be that hard right? Wrong. I want to find something he would love and something that I could also handle. So I did what every modern Mom does to research anything and googled it.

The first link had a list of ideas. “Awesome”, I thought. I am a list maker and having lists in my little world is something that I crave for and love. Then I ran down the list and knew whomever made this list not only was not a parent but has never been around a three year old in their LIFE. First the list suggested a sleep sack, which is cute because my son does spend the night at his Grandparents house every so often. But then was thinking…well this is a lame present. Not only does it look VERY babyish, but who wants a sleeping sack for a birthday present? Its like my sister giving me a placemat for Christmas all over again. It was useful and thoughtful, but very disappointing to a kid. So nix that. Then they listed these intricate games that I have NEVER heard of before that require intricate parts, lots of rules, and time limits. Huh? One why do I want a thousand game pieces everywhere? I have enough to deal with when playing Hi-Ho Cheerio (which is my son’s favorite even if he doesn’t always get the concept of the game). I also want to know what toddler is going to following fifty bazillion rules and then be timed to do A-Z? Seriously? The list was finally vetoed after suggesting I buy 50 (yes I said flipping 50) markers. MARKERS! Not the cool crayola markers that only color on certain paper. I mean 50 markers that would at some time inevitably become tools to redecorate the walls in my house. I watch over things, but seriously people. I have no time for keeping up with 50 individual markers. No thank you.

So I am on a hunt. I am thinking about a play grill since we will be grilling a lot and my son loves to pretend to cook food.

Got any present ideas for a three year old boys birthday?

Packed Weekends

2010-05-26T09:32:00.002-04:00

I have to say that for the next eight weeks I have something to do just about every weekend. Sure there are different things each weekend to do at different days/times, but still...I see no end in sight for a while.

Between BBQs, a bridal shower, celebrating my FOUR year wedding anniversary (I can't believe four years have come and gone so quickly), a camp out, my sweet nephew's birthday, a family reunion, my parents 40th wedding anniversary and my wonderful son's birthday...the weekends are filled with family and friends. I am sure less housework will be completed. I am sure I will be exhausted, but I am kind of looking forward to it all. I love being with my family and friends. I love celebrations. I love that my son gets to spend time with cousin, because he ADORES him. There is nothing cuter then hearing those two giggle away while playing and having a ball. I just have to remember to breath and keep going the entire time.

Packed weekends here I come!

Furniture Oh Furniture! Freebies Oh My!

2010-05-18T13:56:00.003-04:00

My husband and I seem to stumble in various ways to getting discounted or free furniture or various other items...a lot. This doesn't discount the VERY expensive bed we just bought my son. It just happens that we either gain furniture and other things from family members, people moving away/out of the country or for some weird other reasons. I for one...am not complaining.

We have gotten freebies here or there. I've gotten great hand me down clothes from Moms that spent even more money then I do on children's clothing (yes that is possible). Would I like $50 shoes for my baby that can't walk yet? Sure! Its not that I am bragging. I liked the shoes and thought I'd buy another pair, which is why I looked into it, but declined once I saw the prices. We've also gotten other things from people moving out of the country like barely used winter coats, hot wheel cars, a kids easel and a pretty awesome Buzz Lightyear that my son loves. Who's complaining? Not me!

Now most of the furniture we have gotten fits right with our taste. No light wood furniture or elaborately plush Victorian furniture. There is nothing wrong with it, its just not us. We've gotten beautifully carved wood buffets, a huge mirror, a pool table, tables, etc., Yesterday we gained three book shelves, one with cabinets and the other we can always add cabinets to. At first I was a little uneasy with putting more furniture inside a moderately sized town home, but then as I was organizing and putting toys away last night into them, I fell in love. The new furniture members of my household were a means of organization! How glorious is that?

I can't begin to wonder how much we have saved saying yes to getting used (yet new to us) things inside our home. Its interesting how people will give away perfectly good and useful items. I am not snobby when it comes to gladly receiving second hand items. Our microwave died this week. We want to save up for a microwave we can install above our stove and we didn't want to purchase one immediately but with a toddler in the house it was almost a must. Funny enough, a old but good microwave came through. With a little bit of cleaning its as good as new.

Have any of you gotten away with some great freebies or deals you've loved?

For the love

2010-05-06T12:53:00.004-04:00

The last post cracked me up so much and my mind is constantly on my son that I thought I'd write a little post about all the little things I love about him.

...

I love his beautiful, bright green eyes. I love that he reminds me so much of the way I was when I was little...a firecracker. I love that his expressions are often the same ones his Father gives me...confusion, worry, happiness and excitement. I love the way he makes a sound to kiss me and gives full body hugs. I love the way he puts his fingers in his mouth when he is in trouble or is unsure of something because it is so darn cute. I love that he loves dogs. I love that he is confident and will usually dive into an activity. I love his beautiful smile and the little laugh he does when he's so excited for something. I love the way he says "hello" and "yellow", as he reminds me of my Nagypapa (how he ended up with a two word yankee accent is beyond me). I love that he will choose fruits or veggies over pasta. I love the way he likes to help out. I love the relationship he has with my parents and my husband's Mom. I love the mischievous looks and the cute way he tries to ask for things he knows he isn't suppose to have. I love the way he prays and blesses himself. I love how caring he is towards others and how he thinks of doing that all by himself. My son is an amazing, beautiful, sweet, little individual who is so full of life. He amazes me every day and has taught me more things about life and the grace of God's hands then anything or anyone ever has. I love you little man.

Half and Half...better beware

2010-05-06T10:12:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend my hubby and I took Zaichik to IHOP for breakfast. Like most toddlers he was done way before we were and since the interest of the crayons now bored him, I gave him my husbands half and half creamers that he was using for his coffee(just like the ones pictured above) to entertain him for a few extra minutes. I remembered as kid stacking them into different towers and I figure I bought myself a few extra minutes.

Zaichik was happily playing away with his new found entertainment with the creamers and I went back to finishing the last bits of my breakfast. A few moments laters...splat. I looked next to me and all I could see was one of the creamer's in Zaichik's mouth giving me a puzzled look and creamer EVERYWHERE. Apparently when you bite these things, it spatters. What was more mortifying was our neighbors who thankfully were separated by a short wall partition which the wall got the most impact had droplets of half and half on their faces. Their stunned and quiet reaction was needless to say embarrassing, but funny. My husband I apologized as we obviously could not predict that little event happening and handed them some extra napkins. They were cool with it, but very quiet. If it had been me I would of yelped or made some type of noise getting splattered with creamer...some type of initial reaction but no all we got was silence and "its okay".

A few moments later we were out of there. As I carried Zaichik to the car I retraced the event that happened just five minutes previous, the look on Zaichik's puzzled face, the look on our neighbors and just starting cracking up. It was embarrassing, something I don't care to ever relive again, but absolutely freaking hilarious. Kids will do the darnest things, which can result in embarrassment but also some great amusement.

Shaving Cream

2010-04-22T21:30:00.002-04:00

Today was thankfully a beautiful day out and thus my son wanted to go outside. Being kept indoors most of the day yesterday, I complied as my son loves nothing more then outside time. He usually loves to play with his power wheel car, throw acorns he finds in the yard across to another section of the yard or chase bubbles around while giggling madly with content. Today I decided to try something new. I decided to create an old past time I did as a child. I decided to bust out the shaving cream.

No I didn't shave my child if that is what you are thinking. I took out my husbands shaving cream (how I love that smell) and decided that Zaichik should have some fun with it. I pulled out his little fisher price picnic table, sprayed a nice glob on the table and told my son to have at it. He looked at me like I lost my mind. I'm all for a bit of mess. I think its healthy for a child to get grubby once in a while...or at least think he's getting grubby in this case. After a few questionable looks from my son and a tad bit more encouragement, he dived in. Man did this child dive in. The shaving cream was all over the table, his hair, his shirt, the bench, the patio furniture...it was everywhere and it was fun. I even ended up getting a wonderful glob on my pants. Did I care? No, it suppose to be this way. Zaichik had so much fun rubbing the shaving goo all over the table, making pictures with it, erasing it and starting all over again like an etch-a-sketch. He shrieked in wonderful boy laughter. Nothing surpasses that laugh...its amazing.

Like most toddler activities, it was over after a while. Unlike a lot of toddler activities, he did spent a great amount of time in all the shaving cream mess. In the end, my toddler came out smelling fantastic, we changed clothes and I had a nicely clean toddlers picnic table and the most important thing...he had an awesome time. Who knew a little table, a $2 can of shaving cream and a Mom that doesn't worry about mess could make such a fun afternoon for a toddler?

Potty Triumphs

2010-04-22T12:40:00.002-04:00

I knew when I dreamed of becoming a Mom someday that potty training my kid(s) would be something I would eventually have to do. I never thought it would be so difficult, especially to a little guy that doesn't say much. I am not a pusher with potty training. I am an encourager. I don't want to have set backs and I don't want my son to think having accidents is a horrible thing. I will say that with lots of attempts, trials, etc...there are also triumphs.

This past Friday, my son went to the potty for the first time at day care. To any Mama potty training her toddler out there, this is HUGE! I can't begin to describe my pride for my son. I wasn't really expecting it as my son doesn't speak much. He says a few things here and there, but he can't say "potty", "pee" or even "poop". So while my husband and I along with the teacher were working with him to get him comfortable sitting on the toilet, he finally made progress and got a little sticker on his potty activity chart. How cute is that?

This past week while dropping my son off at day care, several of his friends one by one told me that they went potty. Adorable, I know. Toddlers always like to inform you of everything and anything under the moon, because the potty business is big in their little world. I gave them all high fives and told them since they are going potty and Zaichik just started, then why don't you help him out? One child took it very seriously and with his wonderful vocabulary looked at my son and said, "I'll show him how. I'll show him." With two potty seats in the bathroom...this is a possibility. After all, its how my husband taught several of his classmates to potty. I'm all for peer pressure in a positive way. I'll have to remind myself to tell his Mom this little story next time I see her.

On the way home that same day, I explained to Zaichik that once he goes potty more often that we can get him some really cool underwear. He was still interested in what I had to say, so I further said he could have underwear like Dad, but his would be even cooler because we can get ones that have cars or even Elmo on it. He certainly like that idea! Zaichik very much wants to do things and have clothes just like his Dada has. Sons and their Dads have such a magical relationship.

So we are making progress. It is another reminder that my baby isn't so much a baby anymore and that he really is starting to be a kid. . Although I miss the baby in him...I'll be elated when I don't have to change poopy diapers anymore. Go Zaichik!

Really? Really.

2010-04-19T20:51:00.003-04:00

I think I'm a nice person overall. Sure I have my not so stellar moments, but in general I am nice. Maybe too nice. Is there such a thing? Is there a reason why kindness and thought to treat other people like I would like to be treated such a negative thing?

I am one of those people that will let you in when there is heavy traffic and everyone else ignores your turn signals. I am the co-worker that will help you unjam the copier when you obviously irritated. I compliment people's nice shoes, cute babies, good behaving children and pleasant singing voices. I am the type of person that will tell a manager when I had really excellent service. I am the neighbor that will tell you that you left the lights on in your car. I am the Mom that will give you that sympathy "been there, done that" look when your child is having a tantrum and/or if I see that you need a wipe/tissue for your kid I will offer you one of mine. I do this because I think its something you should do. Maybe I was raised that way or more like maybe I just think people should be treated with kindness.

I was asked today by a man why I smile so much. Really? Maybe because I am a happy person or maybe because I think its better to smile at someone passing by instead of pretending they don't exist. Thats not my only qualm though. Why not let a car merge in traffic? You don't have to let five in, but maybe that person behind you will let the next car and in the person behind that person will do the same. Why scowl at children and their parents when a child is misbehaving? Its not like that parent wants their child to be acting out. The child is having a rough time and the parent (God bless them) is trying parent their child the best way they know how. How about help out a co-worker when they are having difficulty instead of ignoring the problem or gossiping later to other co-workers. How about pay a nice compliment when in your mind you are thinking about a persons nice dress or the way they did something great. Does it really take that much energy? It takes a minute...or even just a second to do something kind. Be it a religious teaching or just pure logic...be thoughtful to others.

I also don't get why people don't forgive. I mean really forgive. I forgive wrongdoings against myself, my husband and even my child, especially when there has been an apology. I don't go on about what event had occurred or what you said. Sure I've been mad and there has been plenty wrongdoing against me. I've been really burned twice in life, and to those people I silently forgave...doesn't mean I want to talk to them again. They didn't even apologize and probably still think they have done nothing wrong. I just pray for them and pray for my strength/courage/mind that I remember to breathe and let negative things slide and keep a positive outlook.

To the world, pay it forward. The smallest compliment or act can make a persons day. I remember being in high school and a girl really wanted to see her best friend. I forget the entire reasoning behind it but it was a big deal (maybe a car accident, cancer or something of that magnitude). I was a sub school assistant back then and it was common to have kids pull other kids out of class if the sub school wanted to see them, so I went into a classroom, got the friend and the girl said a two minute sentence to the other that just made everything alright again. I didn't know either girl. It took me a minute. It took two minutes for the girl to make the other girls world okay again. Its not like they were skipping out on class or gossiping. Later on I got a thank you note from the girl who did not know my name about how thankful she was that I was there during a rough time and how such a simple act of two minutes meant the world to her. You just never know how much impact you could have on another persons life. It was a simple gesture.

So while I sit here being kind and thoughtful to your Mom that may need directions, to your sister that needs help solving a work issue, to your Uncle that needs an extra dime to pay for a household repair or your child that needs a tissue, just remember to do the same for the next person. Remember to be kind. Remember to be thoughtful. The world isn't always about ME, ME, ME. Its about all of us. We all live in it. We should help each other out. We should lend a hand. We should forgive. We should smile at a person passing by that may be having a bad day. It is something that should be done. Just remember to do it huh? A simple, random act of kindness can go a long way.

Such Is Life...

2010-04-08T12:32:00.002-04:00

I couldn't find a work shoe so I wore another pair, at least I have another pair.

My son refuses to hold my hand in the morning on the way to the car, but at least he lets me carry him while he snuggles in my arm.

My laundry is always piled high in my bedroom, but at least its clean and we have plenty to wear.

I work all day and miss my son terribly, but it gives me a chance to save for his education.

I don't consider myself having a ton of friends, but the ones I do have are true and my best friend lives with me.

Some of my sons books are falling apart, but it proves that they were read A LOT.

My son doesn't have an extended vocabulary, but it gives us even more reason so celebrate when he learns a new word.

My husband is quiet, but it gives me a chance to jabber on.

I have SO many plans, hopes and dreams, it gives me something to strive for.

To Save Or Not To Save?

2010-04-06T20:46:00.005-04:00

I used to think that rice makers were silly. I wondered what was wrong with minute rice? My thoughts on rice makers were just that until I tasted my mother in laws rice/carrot/onion side dish. Talk about awesome...and what a taste difference!

We spent many years not having a rice maker when I got married. We have almost everything under the sun kitchen wise thanks to multiple bridal showers and a pampered chef party. My husband's grandmother has even commented that we have more stuff then most people she knows that have been married for twenty years stacked in our kitchen cabinets. I was also an obsessive nester before I got married, but the planner in me wanted to prepared and well...kitchen stuff costs a lot. It wasn't until yesterday we finally purchased a rice maker along with a enormous bag of rice and made a nice meal with our newly bought rice maker. My husband and I both asked ourselves after we enjoyed our meal WHY we didn't do this sooner.

The rice was mouth watering (we purchased Basmati rice)and it is a far cry in quality compared to the good ole minute rice I have become accustomed too. It is also a lot less expensive then minute rice. Minute rice I believe cost $4.50 for a 28 ounce box, but a nice 20lb bag of Basmati rice costs around $22 from Costco. If you could buy a 20lb bag of minute rice, it would cost you a little over $51. Huge price difference!

It does take time to make the rice I will give you that, but generally most dinners take around thirty minutes to prepare and cook. As long as you start the rice at the same time, then it pretty much will be done before you're ready to start serving the rest of the meal. You could also just leave the rice on warm after it is cooked in the rice maker so you can easily just start the dinner cooking process WAY ahead of time if you wanted. Why not try saving a few dollars and having better quality? How many times can you say that you save money while buying better quality? Go ahead try it...I don't think your pocket books or taste buds would disagree with me.

Applications Anyone?

2010-04-05T21:20:00.004-04:00

I am a regular on FB. Call it dorky. Call it a waste of time. I frequent the site to make my day run a little quicker during breaks or so I can decompress after Zaichik goes to bed. Another little thing I do and I'll raise my hand while blushing...that I kinda love game applications.

I call it living vicariously through the gaming world. I can't cook really nor did I ever work in a restaurant, but I can sure can cook up a dish in Cafe World and make the customers happy. I can't usually keep a plant alive for longer then six months (okay maybe one to three months), but I can sure farm the hell out of Farmville. I don't want to hurt anyone but I can secretly pretend I am a bad ass in Mafia Wars, because usually I am a very quiet, non-confrontational sort of person. I like them and I like wasting my time achieving little levels or milestones.

I know a lot of FB people hate these applications. Okay, so if you don't want a gift request or neighbor request then just turn off or block those request. No sense in making a FB status about it or making wall comments to other people. I don't experience it much personally, but I see it enough on FB to wonder why people just don't block it because they'll never have to see it again from anyone. Its as simple as that. If you're annoyed by someone asking for another egg in Farmville or some assistance in "X" game in their status then just scroll past it. Are you always interested in other peoples status that talks about other things besides online applications?

I also think I have a multi-tasker disorder. I must do several things at one time. I can watch tv, play a game and talk on the phone all at one time. Maybe it is because I have a short amount of time in a day to do everything? I don't know. I just know my hands have to be doing something be it productive or something just for me. Being productive usually requires more energy then I have after my son goes to bed, so usually its a for me thing. Whats wrong in doing something free and simple just for me? Not a damn thing.

So to all my FB application gamers out there, what is your favorite application? Just curious if I have yet to discover something new and fun yet to be played.

2010-04-05T21:20:00.001-04:00

Post Easter

2010-04-05T20:21:00.005-04:00

I loved Easter. I loved celebrating the resurrection of Christ, the time spent with family, the surprise of Zaichik's face when he saw the Easter bunny had visited during the night, etc., I am also glad that the last major holiday for a while is over and it is now time to start enjoying some fantastic Spring weather.

Easter morning started early enough. The bunny came during the night dropping off some pretty cool, inexpensive presents (thank you dollar section at Target), so everyone was up at the crack of dawn. Even though I told Zaichik days leading and the night before the meaning of Easter and that the Easter bunny would be visiting, but Zaichik had forgotten until a sleepy Mommy and a wide awake toddler made their way down the stairs immediately finding his new loot. I wish for once Zaichik would sleep in on the weekends, but I know soon enough (maybe next year) he will remember and be so excited for Easter to arrive and I anticipate being woke up even earlier then this year. I guess I should count my blessings huh? After a quick search through the basket, hunting for Easter eggs in the house and finishing breakfast, we headed out the door to church.

The entire family (Nagypapa and Nagymama included) arrived together right as the first liturgy let out just in time for the church's Easter egg hunt. Zaichik did a great job finding a few eggs, but with the amount of blessings we have at church...they needed to have more eggs. Following the hunt and some extra sugar Zaichik didn't need, it was time to go into church. I don't know if it was the extra sugar, the excitement of the holiday or what but Zaichik did not want to sit still. Usually Zaichik is pretty good up until we get communion, but he had to be taken out for a period or two to settle down. After liturgy we headed to the hall to have the blessing of the Easter baskets (a basket complete with all of our Easter food). Zaichik was greeted like Norm from Cheers. You know, the place where everyone knows your name? EVERYONE knows Zaichik at church. I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I guess having a Nagypapa who plays an important role in the church probably helps a little.

After church the family headed home. We dropped off Nagypapa and Nagymama at their home and proceeded back to ours so Zaichik could nap. Did he? No. Did his Mom? Yes and it was a darn good one too. After I gathered myself together we headed out once again to Nagypapa and Nagymama's house and there we were greeted by his Uncle, Aunt and cousin. Zaichik couldn't be more thrilled to see his cousin. He doesn't speak much and doesn't call many people by their name, but he sure knows his cousins. The boys played a bit and did pretty well for the day. It was nice seeing them so involved with each other as they are really starting to bond more then ever now that they are a bit older. Nagypapa and Nagymama also hosted a Easter egg hunt and the both boys did extremely well. The traditional Easter feast was good as usual and the night ended with Nagypapa reading (yet again) the story of Aladdin. Thankfully Nagypapa had mellowed out Zaichik so much that by the time we went home he collapsed in his crib and fell fast asleep.

Note: My son's nickname is Zaichik, which is a very endearing child's nickname in Russian, which means bunny. The more you know...ding ding ding DING

Easter

2010-04-02T12:54:00.000-04:00

I am taking bits and pieces from an old Easter post and recreating it here. Essentially the last post was something I wanted to say again this year.

This weekend marks the commemoration of the crucifixion of Christ and the resurrection of Christ. To Christians alike, this is yet a solemn day in the liturgical year and then a celebration three days (Easter Sunday)later the celebration of Christ's resurrection to Heaven. Culturally this Sunday is also the day the Easter bunny comes to visit thousands of households around the world and leaves various sorts of presents and candy in childrens Easter baskets.

I was raised in a Catholic household where we celebrated the resurrection and the Easter bunny would also pay us a visit. On Easter morning my sister and I would pop out of bed, grab my parents and run to see what the Easter bunny had brought us. Generally we would get small but nice token items of crayons, coloring books, bubbles, candy, etc., Afterward, my parents would take us into the living room where my sister and I would "hunt" for eggs that we dyed a few days before. We each had a dozen eggs (to make it a fair hunt) in which we had to find. After a nice breakfast we got ready for church. My sis and I as children always had new dresses complete with a hat and white gloves. I really loathed the hat as the elastic band that kept the hat on my head always seemed to strangle me. My Dad also made it tradition where each of his girls (including his wife) would get fresh little corsages to pin to our dresses. Then we would head off to church and return home for the Easter feast. Each portion of our meal had symbolism. It is broken down as such:

~Easter Bread (Pascha)-symbolized our Lord Jesus Christ, the "living Bread," (Jn. 6:51)

~Meat products (ham, kolbasa)-symbolized the sacrificial animals of the Old Testament, foreshadowing the true sacrifice of our Savior, who became for us "a Lamb of God"

~Dairy products (cheese, butter)-symbolized the "prosperity and peace" of the Messianic times which had been foretold by the Prophets (e.g., Is. 7:22; Joel 3:18, etc.)

~Eggs (deviled)-symbolized the resurrection of a new life.

Although it is premature, I will say for Sunday's event, Christ has risen! Христос воскресе!

Who Do You Think You Are?

2010-04-01T13:14:00.002-04:00

Yesterday my husband and I started watching (on Demand via FIOS of course) a new show called Who Do You Think You Are? It is a genealogy-themed reality show that researches/focuses on details about celebrity's ancestors. Some of the information they discover is quite amazing, as a few celebs played acting roles to what their own ancestors experienced though they didn't know it at the time. Like them, thankfully I can appreciate having so much history about my own family with the help of my Dad, Mom and some distant cousins. I love having our family tree on geni.com, which is FREE, private (unless you invite family) and anyone invited in your family can view it and add to it. Plus you can even add stories (which I already have) about family members for future generations to be able to view/read. I think it is important for your family to know their roots and keep family memories alive. There is just something so beautifully special about knowing who you are.

As said, I wanted to create the geni.com site for future generations. Mainly for my son, any other children I may have and my nephew. All I have to say is if any of them EVER have a project on their family tree...God help the teacher because there is a TON of information covered. I already see A+ on those projects : ).

I am also very humbly amazed about how easily the family line could of ended quickly with my husband's side of the family. As most you know or may of read in past posts, my husband was born in Russia and as far as we know thats where his ancestors were from as well. Think back to World War II. 27 MILLION Russians died alone during that war. I am not trying to denote the great sacrifices that the Americans did, but our losses totaled an estimated 292,000 casualties. Huge difference. Generations for so many countries were lost in just one war and it could of easily ended my husbands.

Also at some point during Stalin's reign my husband's Great Grandfather (who I believe was a General) was executed under Stalin's orders for unknown reasons and the rest of his family was sent to Siberia, which is where my husband was later born. My husbands Grandfather only had two children and of those two children there was only one child born, which would be my husband. My husband's other Grandfather remembers hiding in hay stacks as a child when the Nazi's came through his village and remembers the Nazi's sticking pitch forks into the hay and him dodging it. How fascinating it is to know that my son is apart of that lineage and how scary it is to know it easily could not of happened.

Then take my family for example. My Grandmother got one of the last boats out of Europe before World War I started. Both my Grandfathers served in World War II and thankfully both came home to have my parents. My Dad was young during the Vietnam era when so many of the soldiers did not come back from Vietnam and my Mom was a pioneer having heart surgery in the 50's. Astounding all these events in peoples lives could of changed so easily, but it didn't. Just think about how amazing it is that you are where YOU are and that your family like many other families survived!

I also have to marvel at one more thing that is more of a obvious realization, but a cool one anyways. As far as history points me back to my Dad's side of the family, in Hungary we were Byzantine Catholic. I know my family for generations (since the 1700's) lived in this one very small village. I am pretty sure the church was there too as most communities have a church. Therefore that being said, my son also has this awesome likeness that his ancestors had before him, that he too is Byzantine Catholic. Although many of my family members are Christian, not all kept with the Byzantine faith. I am not bragging here. I just find it touching that our faith goes back so far and that is has once again been reborn into another generation when it could of so easily been lost.

I just fine genealogy amazing. Its a puzzle to figure out. It makes you who you are. I would love to hear some of your past. I love history.