To Say A Few

I can't believe I haven't written in my blog in two weeks! Wow! I can promise you that I will try to write more, but with work and home life it has been quite busy for me lately. I am sure every Mom has those days/weeks where life is hectic and seemingly can't do everything you want all in one day. I haven't abandoned the blog. I just took a hiatus so I can play catch up. Now for the actual topic of my post for today...speech.

My two year old son does not speak all that much. He does say words here and there. He is learning slowly but surely. The kid knows what you are saying to him but chooses not to voice it. I half laugh it off as him being stubborn because both his parents are very stubborn and then the other half of me worries a bit on his vocabulary skills.

I was the kid that took speech therapy years before I entered public school and still had speech therapy through half of my elementary years. More or less I had speech problems because of my inability to hear correctly with all the ear infections I had. Once I began to hear correctly I found all sorts of noise so fascinating and was easily distracted. Imagine never hearing birds chirp, the pitter patter of people walking down hallways or water running. To this day I still have hiccups on on speech because I'll mispronounce words every so often. I can't say Red Wings (thank god I am a Caps fan) without thinking about it as it because if I say it too fast it comes out as Wed Rings. I often mumble too as its something I did frequently during my childhood because I didn't want to talk too loudly because usually when you can't hear you shout, so I tried talking "quietly". I say all this to give you my fear of why I am sensitive and very aware of my son's lack of speech.

This week I went for my son's two year old well check up. He was a CHAMP! Typically he used to cry even before we reached the waiting room as he remembered the building. My husband and I took him to to give him that extra added support along with his pal Grovies (a Grover doll). Height measured great 34". Weight was also great 28lbs. Then it came time for the doc to ask us if we have any concerns. Obviously we noted the speech was something we were a bit concerned about. The boyish middle aged looking doc took one look and told us to take the paci out of his mouth. He advised us at this age unless we want to live in complete torture for a month to not take it away cold turkey and wait until he is three. He said the pacifier prevents him from speaking or wanting to speak. He also said if we want to we could try doing the speech therapy with him but be advised they will first tell us the same exact thing about the pacifier. He indicated that taking the pacifier out will greatly change his speech habits and even if we take him to speech therapy and see a huge difference, it could be all because of the lack of pacifier.

So my husband and I decided on a new course of action to take with our little guy, less paci and more talking. If he doesn't pick up his speech with this change in a few months then we will look into the speech therapy. So far less pacifier has worked fairly well. Yesterday he went for six hours (from the time I picked him up until bed time) without his beloved paci. That is a HUGE milestone in our household. And what do you know? He was babbling the entire time. I think he's on the verge of talking. If I sing the first verse to the song Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, he will sing the tune of the song in his own little words (we call it his ewok language).

He's trying and we're trying. I am sure before long this will be a thing of the past. So the key thing for all you parents out there wondering why your child isn't speaking is to ask yourself, "Does he have a pacifier in his mouth?"

What Moves You?

Last night while watching a DVR recording of America's Got Talent, I was moved by one act with Lawrence Beaman singing Ol' Man River. While I sat in awe of this mans amazing talent to be able to sing in such low notes, I found myself tearing up because his voice and the Show Boat song lyrics was moving to me. My husband thought I was a nut. And while the majority of men aren't as emotional as the majority of women (just sayin), he just wasn't as moved. It surprised me a bit, but different things moves different people which brought me to why I am writing this post.

I will admit ever since I have become a Mom, I have grown to be more of a sap on things. I cry easier. I sympathize more. I love more. Simple as that, I just do. I also think what moves you as an adult many times is affected by what you grow up with. I grew up with my parents always taking me to countless plays and exposing me to other cultural things (weird or not). I am a sucker when it comes to musicals. I remember seeing Hair, Tommy, Sweeny Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Man of La Mancha, 1776, Show Boat, Whistle Down The Wind, Les Miserables (my favorite) and many many others. Some of the musicals were fun, others a bit sad and some were just absolutely beautiful. Ask me a song from one of the musicals and I can guarantee you I can sing (however horribly) a song from one of them. Heck, I wanted to get married on a particular month because of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ("they say when you marry in June..."). Musicals, the lyrics of the songs just move me. Watching them just brings me back to a fragment of my childhood that simply gives me joy.

There are many things that will move me rather it be for happy things or sad things and musicals are just one of them. I love their story lines, the way each song can make you feel and the memory it leaves behind because so many of them move me to this day.

What moves you?

Words That Helped

So my last post basically talked about how we were being sent to the "principals office". It was sort of, but more or less the Director was also a behavioral coach in which she had some really great ideas on how to curtail the biting, hitting and pulling hair bit. I have read COUNTLESS articles, talked to my pediatricians and while the behavioral coach did touch on some of the same things my husband and I have read about/talked about with our pediatrician, she did come up with some other great ideas that I wanted to share with you all.

1. Pay attention to the victim first then the toddler. They will still remember that the did something not appropriate for the thirty seconds you pay attention to the victim. It also helps if you put your back to instigator of the bite/hit or hair puller because they are not getting the attention that they want from you but to the person that they hurt. Toddlers do not like that.

2. Use words like "gentle" or "nice" when your toddler is acting out. Show them rather it is a friend, animal or yourself with actions on how to be gentle or nice by demonstrating to them what "gentle" or "nice" is.

3. A new piece of advice for me is use the words "gentle" or "nice" with other things other then when your toddler acts out. For instance if your toddler slams his/her sippy cup on the high chair after drinking remind your toddler to put their cup down "gently" or "nicely".

4. Use time out. If your usual timeout spot isn't working(they don't want to stay put) and if your toddler still has a crib then put them in it for a time out. I was weary of this because I thought I didn't want to associate my kids sleeping place with a timeout place. The behavioral coach assured me that they don't connect the two because we act/say different things when it is night time vs. when your child is naughty. She said no matter where the time out is (a dining room chair, a corner, etc.,) your child still goes to those areas and doesn't always associate those spots as being bad spots.

5. Do some redirecting. If you see your toddler about to act out then redirect them. Sometimes we can see their little wheels spinning in their head and know they are about to do something. Get a toy out or a book and read to them. They may be frustrated, angry or a little confused with a friend being around but you telling them its okay makes it okay.

We have been following up a lot on these simple suggestions and it has helped. Is my toddler still acting out? Yes, but I am seeing improvement. For instance the other day I knew he wanted to go and pet one of my dogs but I knew that he was going to be less then gentle, so I said the words "gentle" and he lowered his little arm and pet the dog nicely. Its a work in progress but he's getting there slowly but surely. I am just glad I finally am seeing some results.

The Principal's Office

So I am sure if you read yesterday's post you know that I was a bit frazzled to say the least. I still am because my husband and I have no idea what to do with our son's behavioral problems other then what we are doing now. So this morning, I get the call from day care...again...telling me that my son has bit a kid. FANTASTIC! Obviously I am being sarcastic...

So tomorrow we have a meeting with the director aka the principal. Never in my LIFE (okay maybe once) have I been sent to the principals office. I know I didn't go to the principals office EVER in elementary school. We had a principal who would paddle (Dazed and Confused style)you if you got into trouble. It was the south...it was the 80's so things like that did happen. I can't imagine what my Mom would of done if I ever was paddled...she would of raised hell. Anyways on to the story.

Now we are being called to the office, but hopefully to get some good feedback from the director on things to do and allow us to tell her that we are working on my son's behavior as well. I am hoping the meeting will go well and that we'll all take something from it. I am hoping that we aren't on strike 2 of the three strikes you are out (not sure if that is the policy but you know what I am saying). Both my husband and I obviously care what is going on. We have a good kid but one that just needs some major redirection on his lashing out issue.

So pray with me that tomorrow will be a good day and that my son will stop this because seriously this Mama is just worn out.