So yesterday I played my DVR recording of the Oprah show on Moms. Although I could agree with some of what the Moms on the show had to say, I found some of their stories just baffled me.
To begin with the things I didn't get is that Moms complained or rather confessed that they didn't have time for showers. Some talked about how they could not shower for days. Really? I understand not shaving your legs for a week (maybe more) or not having those long candle light bubble baths, but not getting a quick shower in? The kids have to go to bed at some point and even if they don't, shower with them in the bathroom. I confess that I as a Mom take showers when my son is asleep instead of the nice morning showers or if I want a bath then sometimes my son loves to pop in and take one with me. I call that a two for one deal. I just don't get not having the time for a shower...it only takes minutes to wash your hair and throw some soap on your body.
I also did not get one Mom who confessed that during a long drive she did not want to wake up her sleeping kids to go and use a restroom, so she peed in a diaper. I know that Mom is not of the norm, but seriously, act like you are camping and find a quiet spot where no one is and just go in nature next to the car. I also wondered how a diaper for a child could withhold all the urination of an adult, but I am not going to test that one out.
What I did agree with is some of the things that people did not tell me or inform me of the less then glamorous side of motherhood. I did not know how messy the aftermath of birth was. Sure I figured that labor/delivery was nothing pretty, but you received a beautiful child for those more then gruesome efforts. I just didn't know the clean up (if you will) would last so long in your nether regions. I also agreed with the sleep issue and never getting a full nights sleep again. I knew once I had a child that when I had a newborn there would be late night feedings and when they got older there would be the occasional nightmares that would wake them up. I did not know that you would NEVER sleep again...at least a full night of uninterrupted sleep. In my house, my toddler wakes up a few times a night because he is uncomfortable (squished up again a corner) or he lost his pacifier. On occasion there is a full nights rest, well at least until 6 am, but that is a rare occurrence.
I also sort of have to agree with the battle of stay at home Moms (SAHM) and full time working Moms. Although I don't really feel it from my friends (thank God), I have found that there are judgments on both sides within the community. If you are a SAHM then people think you have all the time in the world to get things done, have an immaculate household and have dinner on the table every day at five. I don't have experience with this, but I know with vacation days off, weekends, etc., that doing those things every day just does not happen. There is also a criticism with full time working Moms. Man have I felt the backlash of that! Play dates groups are non existent. Classes for Moms or Moms with babies are typically scheduled between the hours of 9 am to 3 pm. I also hate the looks of pity when I tell people that I work and my child is in day care. He is fine people. Yes his Mom is not around him all day and every day, but he is well cared for, has probably better prepared meals then I would give him throughout the day and he is being socialized with kids his own age all day. We don't need the pity looks.
I also had to agree with the episode that judgments start from day one and honestly why? If you are doing things in the best interest of the child then why judge another Mom until you walk in her shoes. Judgment comes rather you have kids naturally or with fertility help. If you have natural labor or receive an epidural. If you you breastfeed or choose not to breastfeed. Seriously, stop the judgments. As long as a Mom is doing things that she feels is best for her kid then just let her be.
To conclude my thoughts on this show was that I also agree that there is a battle (maybe it is internal) of being super Moms. Those Moms DO NOT EXIST! They are as fake as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. It is make believe. We as Moms set the bar so high on expectations that we often have days where we feel like complete failures. Having coordinated crafts everyday, wholesome snack/meals every day and having the picture perfect life of juggling everything gracefully does not happen. Life is what happen. Temper tantrums are what happens. Being exhausted physically and emotionally is what happens. Its all in the life of being a Mom. I just say do your best at it and if not, tomorrow is another day and you can begin again.
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