8 hours ago
Thursday, October 28, 2010
On Monday October 25th, my husband and I went in to the twenty week ultrasound (even though I was technically 18 weeks) to see our baby, make sure he/she is healthy and to HOPEFULLY find out the gender of the little person growing inside of me. I was so nervous and excited the night before about going to the ultrasound that I barely slept that night and was a bundle of nerves going into the appointment. THANK GOD I scheduled it for 9:30 in the morning. I would be a mess if I had to wait all day.
The technician we had was a very nice lady. I was glad for that because you never know who you may get walking in the door. You could get one negative tech on your hands or someone just having a bad day. She started right away first measuring my cervix, which I could thankfully empty out my bladder once she did those measurements. Next, she called in my husband so we could let the fun begin. If you have ever been pregnant, you know that each and every time you see or hear you baby it is one of the most reassuring sound/sight you will see. I then told the technician my apprehension of my baby being shy and not being able to find out the gender. She gave me a reassuring smile and told me we would find that. It did not matter to me if the baby was a boy or a girl. I didn't dream of having one versus the other. I just wanted a healthy baby and to just know.
She took about a million photos of the baby that day. The heart measured around 150 beats per minute. The baby weighed in at eight ounces. My due date didn't even change (due March 28th). Then we got the big news. She told us, "its a girl!" We were silent for a few seconds. It wasn't a disappointed silence or a angry silence. It was a "Um, what?" silence. Obviously we knew we could have either one but I guess since we have a boy we were kind of shocked/surprised. I smiled. A tear streamed down my face. I was going to have a little girl. My husband smiled at me as our eyes met. Our little Zaichik (our three year old boy) had been right all along. He was going to have a sister. My husband and I joked during the rest of the ultrasound about different things like her playing hockey and that she'd be the cute little girl out there with pink laces on her skates. It was a fun experience and I walked away still a little stunned, but glowing. My baby was healthy and the fear of not being able to find out quickly dissipated into thinking "girl".
The shock of it all is still wearing in even after telling the world what we were having. I think having lived in an all male household with even the dogs being boys is maybe why I'm so perplexed that there will be another female in the house besides me. I don't really distinguish doing girl things vs. boy things with my son, but I know there will be a time when things may change to doing more boy stereotypical things with my son versus girl stereotypical things that I will do with my daughter. Maybe she'll like the American Girl dolls and want to have a girly tea party when she gets a little older. I doubt my son in a few years will really be interested in playing dress up the dollies with Mom and having dainty tea parties. He would always be invited though! I also can't very well dress up my son in little hair bows and ribbons and the same goes for my girl in not being able to dress her up in little old man suits, but she will certainly rock out hockey jerseys! Both will have a lot of similarities in the way of being taught, how to act, etc., I want my girl to be just as independent as my little boy is. I want my boy to know how to do just as many little domesticated duties as my girl will know how to do. I also will encourage sports and academics. In all, I want to raise my children to be healthy, independent, God and people loving, educated individuals.
I'm so excited!!!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Today my husband turned 29. TWENTY NINE. I'm not trying to make it sound old, but its hard to believe he only has one year left in his twenties!
I met my husband when he was a teenager, which I think is why the whole twenty nine thing is baffling me. When I met him he was cute (still is the cutest man in the world to me), but man did I think he was nothing but trouble! He had such long, curly hair slicked back and looked pretty cute driving his red Dodge Stealth. Mmmmm....boys and red sports cars and their appeal young adolescent girls. I know he saw me when I was a Senior in High School (funny I think his first memory was me kissing another guy while I was dressed in an Army uniform), but I have no memory of him until I was out of high school. It took me a while to care for him, but when I did...I fell hard and fast.
We spent together the last bit of our teenage years together. We met the milestone of turning twenty one together and then finally twenty five when our insurance rates went down. We have spent the better part of the decade together learning from each other through patience, love and understanding. Our marriage has had its crazy outside stresses, but we bonded together as a team and have always pushed through it. We have a beautiful, energetic loving son and another sweet baby on the way. Its all so odd to think about the girl I was when I met him and how we both saw each other grow into adulthood.
My husband is my everything and I would be lost without him. He knows my thoughts before I even say them. If I give him a "honey do" list, he always complete them without complaint or annoyance (just as long as I don't keep repeating the same list because of my own OCD). He gets me and I get him. He gets my sensitive side, my loving side, my feisty side. I get his quietness, his enthusiasm to see old friends and to play sports with the guys, his fun quirky thing of reorganizing the house (how I love that) and all the small ways he reaches out to show how much he really loves and supports his family. I know no better man and I am so damn glad he fought for us during our VERY early part of our relationship when I was completely indecisive. He truly is my rock. I said it in the past and will say it again that I still crush on him like a silly high school girl, but love this man so very deeply as a wife should love her husband.
Happy Birthday babies!!!!
Friday, October 15, 2010
I hope my husband will agree with me when I say that during this second trimester of not feeling like I'm about to die, I've been in a pretty awesome mood. I don't feel the mood swings that much as no one has really made me angry or perhaps should I say LET them get me angry.
I've had stress in this pregnancy just like I had in my first pregnancy with my son. This stress is different though because I'm not wondering what is going to happen to my Mom. This time I'm just worried about my job situation and will I get a job or not. How will it change our family dynamic and how I will adapt to it? The planner in me quickly got a plan A, B and C together (after some long discussions with my husband) and now I can say I'm quite calm. My last blood pressure reading was 110/67. This is insurmountable compared to my old average of 147/91 when I was at the same stage in my pregnancy last time.
I suppose I can hear my Mom singing in the background that old Doris Day tune "Que Sera Sera" (the embedded video is above) to help ease my conscious and nerves as my husband holds my hand in this new journey together. I'm not letting anything impact this pregnancy and honestly I'm in a new happy zen in life right now. Sure I try to do what I can but at the end of the day, I really am just humbled knowing that in the end everything will work out. I have my family and we all have our health.
I've also carried this same thinking of Que Sera, Sera What Will Be, Will be with other areas in my life. Be it a co-worker that doesn't always say the nicest things. Instead of being angry, I just feel sorry that perhaps its just stress making this person say the things they do. If a friend doesn't want to hang out, then my feelings aren't hurt like they used to be because I have a bazillion other things to do. If someone cuts me off on the road, then I hope they get home okay(after calling them an asshole). The most I got upset about was my doctors appointment got changed, but was more of a disappointment. I always look forward to hearing the thump thump of my baby's heart beat. If you've been pregnant before, you know how awesome it is to hear that sound.
I guess what I want to pass on this blog post is to not get so caught up with the little silly moments of todays stress. If you have the health and love of your family then everything is really just fine. Everything works itself out and I believe there is a plan and a reason why things fall in place the way they do. We don't always know why its happening, but I think we see the reasoning after some time and patience.
Que Sera, Sera. What Will Be, Will Be
Friday, October 1, 2010
Now that I am officially into my second trimester, I think my ALL FREAKING DAY sickness is finally gone. I endured it. I mastered the art of NOT puking in my cubical for six weeks straight, which I really should win a gold medal for the amount of effort that took. I am actually a productive person and I kind of feel like me again....just have a little bit of a bigger pouch then usual and sleep has become my new best friend.
I hit the second trimester actually having lost weight. Its no big thing if you consider how insanely sick I was for the majority of my first trimester. Still, I was a little surprised as I kept seeing my tummy grow larger. I actually physically needed to wear maternity pants because I was too big for even my fat pants and it was not because my stomach couldn't handle the tighter bloating first trimester tummy. I was getting a pregnant belly...for realz.
Yes I purposely misspelled "realz"
Now that I don't feel so sick, I want to eat. If you're eating something (unless its that stinky ass fish that someone seems to cook daily in my office), then I want whatever you are eating. I'll seriously eyeball you. I was eyeballing my sisters lunch yesterday (but already had my own). I've eyeballed my husband on numerous occasions or saw someone on the television eating something and will say "I WANT THAT". My shopping list is growing. While I am still having a bit of a food adversion to meat, I want to actually eat instead of being forced to be some anorexic pregnant woman. I don't have a mental disability and I wasn't abusing the innocent fetus growing inside me, the kid did NOT want food and suddenly has changed his/her little mind about the whole food idea.
Dear lord help me if I have a really picky eater once this baby is born.
So far I've wanted various brands of pizza, strawberry smoothies, cheese-curl sandwiches (don't ask), waffles, chocolate ice cream, cashews and apples. I want apples in a BAD way right now. I want them freshly sliced like my Mom used to cut them when I was little and how I cut them for my son now. It just sounds absolutely delicious right now.
I just don't get why in the HELL I have such a distaste for meat. Sure I'll eat it from now and then, but the steak that I used to EASILY polish off looks more like some nasty, infested, smelly, piece of fish to me. Its just plain yuck. My Mom made turkey last weekend. I LOVE turkey. Did I eat that much? No...someone didn't want me too. Apparently I'm just growing into becoming a vegetarian...against my will.
While I sit here and complain and demand things, I really am enjoying this pregnant. Even the sickness was okay because I knew the baby had to be okay. Its a miracle really that babies are even conceived and its such a honest to God blessing that I get to be a Mom of another precious little person. Happy Second Trimester to me! I'll be seeing you for another 14 weeks. Then its on to HOLY MOLY MAMA at 28 weeks ; )