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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Missing Them

I don't know if its the holidays or seeing random things that remind me of them, but I miss my Nagypapa and Nagymama (Grandpa and Grandma in Hungarian). Since their death I of course would think about them from time to time and pray for them. It is just lately I have just had this overwhelming feel of loss for them and while I wish I had them around...I don't know why this sudden spring of emotion has started.

I lost both my Grandparents years ago. One when I was about twelve and the other about six years ago. They really were fantastic grandparents. I felt love from them. They doted on my sister and I and we just felt like their home was another addition to our home. I loved walking through the doors of their home, smelling the faint smell of my Nagymama's cigarettes and getting squishy hugs from them. Its one of my fondest memories of them. It is something so simple as a hug, but having that love and knowing its real means the world to a child.

My memories of them are so random lately. Yesterday I was watching a movie where people were celebrating the 4th of July and holding up sparklers to celebrate. I went back to a memory I haven't thought about in a long time where my cousins and I with my Nagypapa and Nagymama were in their back yard lighting sparklers and celebrating Independence Day. I was just a kid and I could feel that care free emotion a child has. I could hear my cousins laughing their silly giggles and see my Nagymama with one hand smoking and hollering at us to be careful. It is such a silly random memory but a memory nonetheless.

I miss them. I just wish sometimes I could call them on the phone or had the ability to go up and visit them. I wish I could tell them I love them and how much they meant to me. I miss the fact they won't know my children and my kids won't know the love of their Great Grandparents. I miss that I can't hear their voices or hear them encourage me on whatever I'm doing in life. I just miss the fact that there will never be another chance to pull up in their gravel drive way, run up to the door and be greeted with squishy hugs and kisses.

I love you Nagypapa and Nagymama. I'm praying for you and hope you're praying for us.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


During one of my outings with my kids, another Mom (a stranger)made a comment I never heard before. She smiled at my little boy and baby girl and said, "you have a million dollar family." Um...excuse me? I inquired what she had meant because I was just stumped on what her meaning was. She told me that because I have both a boy and a girl, its called having a million dollar family. She went on to say how nice it is to have both and how lucky I am. While it was a nice compliment, I told her I was quite happy that God blessed me with two healthy children. I didn't continue with how I didn't care what the sex my children were. I wasn't going make an issue of it. I just never heard the term, "Million dollar family" EVER.

I continued the day as normal with dinner, bath, and bed time stories. That night after the kids were in bed I did a simple google search to see if this lady made it up. She didn't. The definition clearly defines that having both a boy and a girl means you have the million dollar family. While I always dreamed of being a millionaire, I didn't quite dream of it in that way. I know I'm rich in the love and grace God blessed me with in having two beautiful kids. I just never had a preference. I just wanted children. Healthy children.

I honestly don't get preferences in having either sex or one of each. While its nice to have both a boy and a girl, I don't feel like I would be unfulfilled if I had all boys or all girls. In fact I was a bit shocked when the ultrasound tech told me I was having a girl the second time I was pregnant. I almost expected to be having another boy. I just figured I'd have a slew of boys running around my house after my first was a boy. I was happy of course to find out I was having a little girl, but more so that my baby was healthy. Finding out her sex was just an easier way to prepare for her room, think of names, etc.,

I feel rich because I have a beautiful family and something money just can't buy. You can't buy children (legally). All the money in the world wouldn't make me feel as rich as I do now. I have these beautiful kids and I am so thankful for them. You can always have "stuff" but the excitement in a child's eyes and the love they give you is simply priceless. Having a boy and a girl doesn't define the richness that I feel when I look at my family. I just feel blessed that God gave the kids that I do have and pray that I have a few more. Does it matter what sex I have? Absolutely not.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Why not?

One of my favorite people posted a blog recently where she talked about how she used to love doing silly internet questionaires. While they aren't as popular as they once were, I decided why not copy her little post and post my own answers here. Thanks for the fun Friday night idea!

1. Sleep style? I always fall asleep on my left side. Generally I have a pillow over my head. My husband tends to snore and I hate being woken up from it.

2. Right or left side of bed? left side. Generally where ever we are my husband sleeps closest to the door. No real reason. Maybe subconscious thing to protect us if there was an intruder?

3. Soft mattress or hard mattress? We have a hard mattress. Its okay. I'd much rather have a soft mattress. Thinking our next mattress will be a sleep number so we can both get what we want.

4. Top sheet? I hate them. In fact we never make our bed with them because we both detest them.

5. Make the bed in the morning? I'm usually the first one up and out the door but even if I wasn' wouldn't happen. There are a million household chores that are high priority. I do make my sons every so often though.

6. Floss everyday? Nope. I got those cool floss sticks and everything. I still can't remember.

7. Floss top or bottom first? If I do....bottom.

8. Brush back and forth, up and down, or circular? All of the above?

9. Brush top or bottom first? Right or left? bottom right.

10. Pop zits? When I have them.

11. Tweeze? Yes but I hate doing it.

12. TP over or under? over

13. Crinkle or fold? Crinkle.

14. Shower AM or PM? Depends on the day and depends how cold it is outside. Sometimes I shower at night so I don't have wet hair when I go to work and its bitter cold outside.

15. Start the shower before you get in? who doesn't? I won't step into cold water!

16. Get in the shower on the side under the flow, or away from it? Away from it

17. Ever sit down in the shower? Often either to shave or just zone out for a moment until I'm interrupted by somebody. grrrrr

18. Face the water to wash hair, or face away? Face away.

19. Soap up everything then rinse, or soap and rinse at the same time? Same time.

20. Soap, or body wash? Both. For the face and more sweaty areas I use soap because it drys up my skin. I also use body wash

21. Conditioner? I have to. Hair is too long. I prefer Herbel Essence b/c it smells so damn good and I love the two in one.

22. Dry off in standing in the tub or out? I dry off in the tub but walk out when I'm half way dry.

Yay for a Friday night survey! What a bunch of weird questions I'd never thought about until it was asked : )