Missing Them

I don't know if its the holidays or seeing random things that remind me of them, but I miss my Nagypapa and Nagymama (Grandpa and Grandma in Hungarian). Since their death I of course would think about them from time to time and pray for them. It is just lately I have just had this overwhelming feel of loss for them and while I wish I had them around...I don't know why this sudden spring of emotion has started.

I lost both my Grandparents years ago. One when I was about twelve and the other about six years ago. They really were fantastic grandparents. I felt love from them. They doted on my sister and I and we just felt like their home was another addition to our home. I loved walking through the doors of their home, smelling the faint smell of my Nagymama's cigarettes and getting squishy hugs from them. Its one of my fondest memories of them. It is something so simple as a hug, but having that love and knowing its real means the world to a child.

My memories of them are so random lately. Yesterday I was watching a movie where people were celebrating the 4th of July and holding up sparklers to celebrate. I went back to a memory I haven't thought about in a long time where my cousins and I with my Nagypapa and Nagymama were in their back yard lighting sparklers and celebrating Independence Day. I was just a kid and I could feel that care free emotion a child has. I could hear my cousins laughing their silly giggles and see my Nagymama with one hand smoking and hollering at us to be careful. It is such a silly random memory but a memory nonetheless.

I miss them. I just wish sometimes I could call them on the phone or had the ability to go up and visit them. I wish I could tell them I love them and how much they meant to me. I miss the fact they won't know my children and my kids won't know the love of their Great Grandparents. I miss that I can't hear their voices or hear them encourage me on whatever I'm doing in life. I just miss the fact that there will never be another chance to pull up in their gravel drive way, run up to the door and be greeted with squishy hugs and kisses.

I love you Nagypapa and Nagymama. I'm praying for you and hope you're praying for us.