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Friday, January 29, 2010

Weekend Wars

So the title of my post may be a BIT exaggerated, but I know I am not alone when I say that weekends are crazy especially when you have a little family with so many different requests, invites, things that you need to do, etc.,

The month of January alone for my little family was crazy. We had a party scheduled every weekend and (thankfully) on one weekend my husband and I had a little get away vacation. We attended a hockey game, went to several appointments for my son and also had his surgery all in one month. Did I forget to mention my husband and I both work full time? Put a fork in me, I'm done. Is my house cleaned? No...not that it ever is immaculate...I have a two year old you know.

I just wonder what February is going to bring...

What are your weekends like? How was your first month of the new year?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Weekend Getaways

Last weekend my husband and I took our first mini vacation since we had our son two and a half years ago. I can describe the vacation in one word...amazing. I missed my son, but having a few days to reconnect with my husband after so much stress and so much craziness was just what WE needed.

My husband and I actually decided to go on the vacation per one of those phone calls we got from a timeshare place saying "we won" a free weekend in Williamsburg, a $200 gift card and a Orlando voucher four night stay as long as we listen to a 90 minute presentation. Why not right? At fist the plan was to take my son but because it was only going to be 2 1/2 hours away and for such a short time my sweetheart of a husband thought why not have that short time to ourselves while our son "vacationed" at his Grandparents house?

Williamsburg was a breeze to get to as we're used to driving to Miami. We showed up at the Williamsburg Plantation timeshare location and discovered we had a two bedroom condo with two baths, which one bath had a three person jacuzzi! I'll just tell you all now...I took five baths in that thing in three days. I was in interruptions, lots of hot water and jets massaging your back. I was one happy woman. We spent the first day shopping and having a great time with one another and... we ate dinner at SEVEN o'clock opposed to the regular 5:30 dinner time. The following day we spent the time walking around Colonial Williamsburg and ate in one of the open taverns, which is something we would never get to do had we brought our two year old. I loved visiting Williamsburg as I am more of the history buff then my husband, but he enjoyed the magazine and the entrance area of the Governor's Palace as it was filled with weapons.

I came home more relaxed, just feel at peace and even have more energy. I think from now on having a short weekend getaway once a year with just my husband will be a must. Spending time as a family is of course important, but being able to just spend quality time as a couple is essential.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Surgery

Since I talked and talked and talked some more on the surgery my son was getting on Tuesday, I figured I should update the blog about it.

My husband and I along with my son got to the Reston Medical Center at the crack of dawn on Tuesday morning. We were the first ones least in the parking lot. After a little bit of waiting we were taken back to the pre-op area to sign some papers and talk with the medical staff that would be with my son while he underwent his surgery. My little guy sat down so nicely on the stretcher (thankfully still a bit sleepy) and watched cartoons while the doctors/nurses went over the procedure and answered any questions my husband and I had. I was VERY glad to discover the Chief of Anesthesiology would be in charge of the anesthesia my son would get that day as it is something I was pretty nervous about aside from his surgery, but felt better knowing he was in such capable hands.

Before long the nurses came by (one was like a Grandma) and they wheeled him away after a two second kiss from me and told my little man he was on a choo choo train. He did not look back and was fine with it. I was thankful for that. I held a brave face up until then...and then decided I needed to go to the restroom once I entered a now crowded waiting area. I sort of had a panic attack in the bathroom and cried a bit. As said before in my prior post, I knew logically this would be the best thing for my son, but emotionally I felt horrible I couldn't protect him and wish it was me that could take his place. I went back to my husband after I calmed down a bit teary eyed and emotionally distraught. He talked to me in his usual calm and loving way while doing his best to take my mind off what was happening just a few rooms away from us.

After an hour or so we were called back and my husband and I rushed like we've never moved before with the nurse. She told us what room he was in (thankfully a ped post op room) and we left her behind as we scurried to the room. We could both hear our son crying. A nurse was in the room with him and he was coming out of anesthesia. He was tossing around because of the anesthesia and honestly it was one of the worst things I have ever witnessed as it is so heart wrenching seeing your baby go through that. I wasn't prepared for that at all. Like any mother would do, I picked up my baby and cradled him trying to hold back tears. The nurse talked to me while the doctor talked to my husband. My son's eyes weren't open as he was still coming out of anesthesia and the nurse told me to cradle his head like a baby because he couldn't support it well. The doctor told my husband that the surgery was successful (for tubes and adenoids)and that my son had a double ear infection. I was surprised because two week ago we were at the pediatrician for his 2 1/2 year check up and last Friday we were at the Pre-Op appointment where my son was seen. He had no sign of ear infections. My son continued to cry as I would sing his favorite soft melody and continuously told him that his Mama and Dada were here. He pulled on his IV and the monitor on his foot so we had to keep making sure that he kept away from that all the while still crying his little heart out. He cried so much (even with the door closed) that the Chief of Anesthesiology came to our room wondering if he was okay because she could hear our son all the way in Pre-Op. I felt badly for my son and badly for the other patients trying to recover whatever surgery they just had. I couldn't do more than I was doing, but still felt guilty. After a little sip of apple juice and some more monitoring we were released from the medical son still crying the entire twenty commute home.

We reached the house and my husband ran out to get some Tylenol as we were instructed the Motrin we had should not be given to my son. My son cried and cried...then threw up on me and my bed (his favorite spot to mellow down) so while I was taking him to the bathroom to clean him up and me up...he threw up again. He was upset from throwing up and seemingly in a little pain. I cleaned him up and took him downstairs as my husband arrived back home during that time. He was pretty quick to get in and out of that store now that I recall back to that day...Papa Bear was moving quick! We tried settling him down on the couch where he calmed down a bit but threw up two more times on me and our blanket. We settled him in for some breakfast, which he ate (THANKFULLY) and it seemed to calm his little stomach down. I was so grateful for that, because not that anyone likes to be puked on, but I have a horrible gag reflex and I hit my puke limit that day. Obviously if my son had to throw up more, as a Mom I would just deal, but still...VERY thankful he did not throw up.

We spent the day being mellow. He took a few naps and got completely spoiled. Although he was sleepy at times his little two year old self shined through. He got LOTS of popsicles and yummy things to eat and beamed every time we told him he could have another. Honestly, that kid could of done anything that day and gotten away with it because my husband and I just wanted to see him happy.

So that is my little post op story of my son. Traumatic on all of us? Yes. Was it worth while? Yes. We will soon see the results as my son will hear better thus learn to speak better. The drippy nose/snoring should cease and hopefully we won't be dealing with ear infections any time soon. Thank you all for those that prayed. Prayers and faith really are the truly comforting during times like these.

Monday, January 18, 2010

My Son Called Me By My Name

When I became a Mom, I got used to being called "So and So's Mom". I kind of liked it actually. I laughed because I remember an old friend saying "while you know who you seem to lose the identity of your name and its replaced by Mom or some variation." How true that became, until this weekend.

I was dropping my son off at his Grandparents house as my husband and I had a little date that night to a party later in the evening. I stopped to chat with my Mom and Dad a bit as my son pulled out one of his favorite toys, a little tykes car, out of the sun room. My son loves pretending and on this particular occasion he was pretending to leave in his little car...however...I got a little surprise.

Son: Bye Dina!

Me: WHAT????

Son: Bye Dina!

Me: I'm MAMA! You are a lucky kid who gets a special name to call me that no one else can use. I'm your Mama.

My Mom and I both looked at each other bright eyed as my son's speech (as said in past posts) aren't the best so he doesn't know that many words. However, he decided in his own little way call me by my first name. He garbled it, but called me out on it.

Moral at the end of this story...Kids will never cease surprising their parents.

Surgery Tomorrow

Once more I am talking about my sons upcoming surgery. Seriously I talk and talk and talk about it on here so much its like I'm beating the topic to death, but seriously people it is surgery and its my baby we're talking about.

Today I am working as my company does not have MLK Day off. It stinks, but in a way its almost a blessing because its another day that I get paid (I don't get paid for holidays)and honestly I need something to distract me. My mind is constantly worried about this surgery even though logic tells me its a surgery that has been done a thousand times by the ENT doctors and does not need a whole lot of recovery time. I just feel helpless because I can not protect my son from not needing it. He should of had it done a long time ago...I guess I was just wishing he begin to talk more...that ear infections would cease and there would be no fluid in his ears. I was hoping...

In the months to come with this surgery and the speech therapy, my son should feel better, become less frustrated as I know he will be able to learn more and more words and be able to communicate to everyone much better. I just wish tomorrow was over already...

Just pray for my son tomorrow...its all I ask.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dulles Mall...and store closings?

I got a sad phone call last weekend from my sister discovering that Janie and Jack had closed in Dulles Mall. I was a bit surprised because I thought they got pretty good business...especially from my Mom : ) Being the nosy person that I am, I called the Fair Lakes Janie and Jack to get the scoop. The very nice and eager gossiper on the other line informed me that the reps at Janie and Jack felt the store was too big at the Dulles location, but it will be replaced by another children's store called Crazy 8's. I did a quick google search and its cute clothes and looks a lot like another Gymboree.

Then I got another email since I apparently love getting every sale notice/coupons I can get from any store I have EVER shopped, which told me that the Disney Store at Dulles Mall will also be closing on or before February 20, 2010. I was a bit shocked. I didn't get nosy and call around to other locations to find out why, but I am a bit sad. While the store I think caters more to girls, it was one of those fun kid stores that I like to take my son into.

My sister (who lives closer to the mall then I do) also informed me that there was a nice toy store. I can't find it on the directory, but I believe her since she got an Elmo doll for my son right before Christmas. I'll have to check it out...I am a sucker when it comes to getting things for my son. I'm nervous

Earlier I wrote about how my son will be getting surgery this month to get his tubes and possible adenoids removed. After talking with several parents that have been there and done that...I am getting more and more nervous about the whole ordeal.

I know that getting tubes put in is almost one of the easiest surgeries that you can takes ten minutes tops. Getting adenoids (per internet research) is a bit more invasive and I should expect my son to have a little discomfort, but nothing like getting your tonsils taken out. I logically also know its the best thing for him because he will be able to hear correctly which will in turn dramatically help his speech. I know all this, but my heart aches for him. I want to protect him, to shield him from all this...and I can't.

I've been told that one of the hardest things is putting on scrubs and carry your baby back to the operating room. While the doctors and nurses are professionals and have done these surgeries hundreds if not thousands of times, you feel helpless handing your child to strangers and trusting them with your child's life. Sounds a bit dramatic, but its my baby and he's going under anesthesia. I was also given a friendly forewarning that some children can react a bit to the anesthesia by convulsing a bit. I don't know if I am ready for see your baby go through that. I'm in tears just thinking about it.

While logic explains everything so easily and so heart just aches for my son. I want him to be healthy obviously and will do anything for one ever said being a parent is easy. Honestly its the hardest thing I have ever done (I'd even take back labor pains any day over this) and still feel privileged that I get to experience it. I guess all I can do is pray from now until Tuesday morning.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Letter To My Son

To My Darling Boy,

You were something I dreamed of and wished for all my life. I knew before any pictures, any confirmation when you were born that you would be a little boy and you would be special. I remember the expression your Dad had when he first heard your heart beat, saw your first sonogram and when we got that 20 week confirmation that we would have a son. It was a look of pure joy, excitement and no expression of his has compared since. I felt lucky when I was pregnant with you (despite the swollen ankles and lovely stretch marks)as I could feel your kicks and the constant hick ups you would have while I was in meetings. It was a special bonding experience of closeness and the one time I could truly protect you from everything.

When you were born your Dad and I marveled at the beautiful gift God gave us. You entered this world feisty (peeing on the nurse three times) and certainly made your presence known. You are still that little guy that with one look from those beautiful, spirited green eyes can melt your Mother's heart. I love that you have already grown into a pretty awesome kid who is confident, loving, and full of energy. You remind me of your Dad and you remind me of how I was like as a child...a true firecracker.

My dear son I have such plans for you, but what is most important above all else is that you are happy, know you are loved and ALWAYS have your parents support. I hope for you to reach for the stars in living out your dreams. I wish for you to find your soul mate and love deeply and compassionately. I dream of the day when you discover how hard it is being a parent but find nothing can be more rewarding.

My advice to you dear son is to remember to say sorry when you have done something wrong, forgive when someone apologies, that family above anything is the most important thing you will ever have, always always always communicate (its key in any relationship) and as your Dad will always say...try never to pay full price.

You are such a beautiful, unique and wonderful little guy that will someday grow too quickly to be a man. Remember to think of your Mom and Dad from time to time even when life gets hectic and friends or other life plans comes up. We will always look forward to seeing you and hearing about your day. I will always be your Mom, but I hope we will also have open communication and a friendship.

I love you!



Tuesday, January 12, 2010

2010 Before They Grow Up List

As it is 2010 and this is not part of the wish list...I wanted to update my "Before The Kids Grow Up List". As stated in the last blog entry...there are lots of things that I will repeat on this list of things I'll do with my kid(s) and obviously some I hope to some day do as some are still a bit too mature for a toddler right now.

Disney World - Have timeshare planned for 2010
Capitals Game
Redskins Game (Dad can take him to this)
Cox's Farm Fall Festival
Polar Express Train Experience
Pick Halloween Pumpkin from a Pumpkin Patch
Thomas Train Experience
Baltimore Aquarium
Crayola Factory
Ice Show
Baseball game
Brighton Beach
A Beach
Visit the town I grew up
Boyd's Bear Store (Pennsylvania)
Swim in the Pacific Ocean
Pick some sort of fruit (apples, strawberries, etc.,)
Make some fantastic mud pies (I mean the real mud...not a real dessert)
Bore my children with trips down memory lane (maybe some of it will interest them)
Eat dessert for dinner
Have a tremendous war with water guns
Meet professional athletes
Deep Sea Fishing
See a sleeping Volcano (Mommy is too afraid of live ones)
Walk on the Great Wall of China
Lion Country Safari
Luray Caverns
Botanical Gardens
Central Park
A Broadway Play
Air and Space Museum and Udvar-Hazy Center
White House
Sea World/Miami Aquarium
Colonial Williamsburg
Hershey Park
Skiing (Dad can do this)
Eat in the Disney castle
Munich Germany to see the Clock
The Tower of London
Make forts with furniture and blankets
A Castle
Scuba Diving (Dad's thing)
Archery Range
A Cruise
Treesort in Takilma, Oregon
Yellowstone National Park
The Grand Canyon
Tweetsie Railroad
Gem Mine
A Civil War Battlefield
Niagara Falls
Statue of Liberty
Times Square
Visit Philly just to eat cheese steaks
White Water Rafting
See National Christmas Tree
Sesame Place

*Visit at least one if not more of the following countries: Austria, China, England, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Russia

New Additions for this list:

Play broom ball
Monkey Jungle
Rent out a suite for a Capitals game
Implement a family fun night (once a month) with a theme like Camp Out
Scavenger Hunt (we may need to recruit my nephew to help)
Host a family/friend kickball game
Family karaoke night?...that would be amusing.
Dance in the rain
Build something (maybe a bird house or bird feeder)
Dude Ranch

Do any of you have great ideas to perhaps add to the list?

My Creative Drought

Over the weekend my husband did a fantastic thing while I was out with my son on a play date...he reorganized our entire living room and basement. I came home (after some scrutiny about the design my husband talked about) to a messy but more efficient living space. I was relieved, happy and felt like I dropped the ball in some ways.

See I finished my B.A in Interior Design a few years ago. After dealing with horrible women, discovering crappy hours/pay I decided to drop the design route and continue on with something more 9-5 in working in the world of IT. Its okay...but not very creative. When I got married I purchased (after looking at furniture specs) great furniture that would last. If you don't like leather...microfiber is the way to go as its the most durable fabric aside from leather. We moved into a tiny but cute apartment and since we decided to stay there only for a year and were leasing we didn't paint or upgrade anything. Fast forward to when I was six months pregnant...we moved into a foreclosure that my husband and I proudly purchased (how I wish now we would of waited to buy). I handled a lot of the packing/cleaning while my husband carried boxes, furniture, etc., We picked out and coordinated a beautiful paint scheme for my son's nursery and honestly I was quite thankful I did NOT have to paint since I was pretty pregnant. That's the last thing I really did with my house...and I didn't even do it. Between a month of bed rest, learning how to be a Mom of a newborn that quickly grew up to the toddler stage, working full time and trying to catch all the other household duties from falling by the wayside...I just haven't had time nor financial resources to do anything. Sure doing small things don't cost money, but seriously I am in a creative drought.

I will sit there and look at my house, Mom's house or even friends house and imagine a design scheme in my head. I think about the design of different living spaces in what colors I would use, furniture options, etc., When I walk into creative commercial design spaces (i.e, Bean Tree and Loudoun Birthing Inn), I silently compliment fantastic design and when I walk into crappy designed spaces...I think of how I would do better. It all plays out in my head, but just not acted upon. I have a four year degree and know what to look for in finding GREAT furniture (joints really will tell you quality), different specs on spaces (i.e, how big walk ways should be, recessed lights on the ceiling, etc.,), color theory (did you know studies have shown that if you paint a babies room yellow babies cry more then if its painted blue or pink), etc., I know my stuff...but just don't use it.

So I have to think of some creative outlet. Maybe I'll bust out my draft table from my parents house and render a perspective of a beautiful illustrated room that I wish I could afford or wish I had am moment to design....I just need to find the time.

Girl Toys/Boy Toys...

I know a few parents that really want their kid to play with toys that are gender "appropriate" (if you can call it that). While I do not buy my son pretty pink princess dress up clothes or barbies...I find that some parents are a bit extreme on what is suppose to be gender appropriate.

I got a few comments when buying my son a kitchen set. Really? Is that seriously JUST for girls? I don't think so. My husband cooks far better then I do. Thank God since we would probably eat the same meals over and over again if it were up to me. I am the baker in my family...and love baking...not cooking. My son LOVES his kitchen set and play food. It is interesting to see what meals we get from him (sometimes a plate of fake mushrooms or a plate with half a carrot). He loves watching his Dad and I pretend to eat his meals and we always tell him how delicious they are. Nothing is cuter then seeing a proud grin on his face. I would feel kind of sad if I was missing out on that...just because others feel it isn't a toy for boys. I say cook away...your wife will love you for it someday just like I love that my husband cooks.

I had a conversation with my husband about gender appropriate toys the other night. I told him I really don't care if he points out something in the store and really wants to play with it. He told me he probably wouldn't get a barbie, which I can kind of see, but if he wanted it...I would buy it. Plus there are G.I. Joe barbie dolls...and aren't army men kind of like dolls too? Sure their accessories aren't little high heels and semi slutty dresses, but they do come with accessories.

My son also loves to take my knock off Louis Vuitton bag and pretend to leave on his little ride on toy as he waves and says "goodbye" to me. Bother me much? Not really. He sees his Dad come in and out with a brief case or diaper bag, so really it isn't unusual for the male role model in his life to have some sort of bag when he comes or goes. So when you throw in a colorful bag... why not have fun with his little world of pretend? He can have the bag...

My son loves playing with other toys marked for boys such as cars, trucks, etc., I had cars too as a kid. I remember lining them up in my parents kitchen and used the linoleum tiles as parking guides. I had fond memories of them and my antique transformers that my son and nephew now enjoy playing with. I am glad my Mom didn't say "those are just for boys".

I think toys for the most part should be for all genders. Show some of our boys some domestication with kitchen sets, dolls, etc., In today's world Dads are expected to change poopy diapers, cook meals and dress their kids. Girls should also get fun things like cars, manly ride on toys like Harleys or tool benches because who knows if they'll grow up to design something fantastic or be able to repair things around the house without asking a man to do it.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

New Day Care (Ups and Downs)

This week is my son's first week of day care. I felt guilty as anything Monday morning when I did the first initial drop off. It was a new environment, he didn't know anybody and he was used to being spoiled by having one on one adult interaction all day. I was nervous too as I was afraid of "what if he bites", "what if he cries all day", all of those "what ifs". I prayed it would be a good day, a good transition...a better place. I am moving towards to knowing that this move really is for the best.

I am happy to say that while the "down" part of this whole experience is the morning drop offs..thats it. My son does not want me to take off his hat or coat as a means to try and keep me with him. He clings on to me for dear life, which makes me feel completely awful when I have to physically (after a lot of time has passed)remove his tiny little grasp and hand him off to the teacher with him wailing "MAMA!!!!!!". Yeah...I feel GREAT about that...not. Needless to say...I've cried just about every morning on the way to work.

This morning was a tad bit better, not because of my son's predictable actions of crying for me when I hand him off, but the teacher who made me feel better. She told me that while it does take a little time for him to calm down to remember its a transition phase and he has a GREAT time after he figures out that he can play with the kids as well as some of his already favorite toys. She told me that she has been doing day care for 16 years and this is normal behavior. I knew that, but getting that extra encouragement of "your kid isn't the only one" is nice. She also told me that during story time she makes sure that my son sees the key word (i.e. dog) in the book and points to the picture. She told me the speech therapist would be doing this with him. I knew that this would be one of the things the speech therapist would do, as I do this as home too (pointing at pictures and words and sounding them out), but it was also another added relief of "hey this lady really wants to help my kid." I teared up with her comment as I finally, finally, FINALLY feel like there is a teacher that not only takes care of my son but genuinely and awesomely is trying to HELP my son. For that I am truly thankful and feel really blessed.

So while there are still things that stink about day care (the drop offs)...there has been a lot of positive moves. Obviously I'd rather be financially capable of taking care of my son myself, but if it has to be this least I feel encouragement by an outstanding facility and wonderful teacher.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Wishes for 2010

2009 was a good year, but really...I'm glad its over. We did fun things like visiting multiple Zoos, my son learned to say "love ya", had a blast at Sesame Place (PA), Atlantic City, New York, and in Miami, and celebrated good times with family and friends. However 2009 wasn't without faults as I still am searching for a new job, my Mom underwent heart surgery, my son got kicked out of day care, Grandma ditched us, our couch broke, our bed broke, our tv...well it got its ass handed to it by a fisher price school bus and theres that little thing called annoying debt that I'd like to take care of ASAP.

My wishes for 2010 (this is not a resolution people...its a WISH) is for a happier and easier year. I would love the year to be filled with the same positives of 2009 (visiting new/same places and celebrating life with family/friends) but I wish it to be easier...thats all and could I possibly have the present I've wanted for some time now?

So here are my wishes (and I think some of them are destined to come true):

~ For my son to learn how to speak on the same curve of his least have improvement.

~ To at least finish one nice home repair be it the deck, painting the kitchen, finishing up the master bathroom...(I don't care what).

~ Visit new places with my husband or with my family.

~ Get something organized in my house (this is vague and I'm leaving it this way on purpose).

~ Strive to be a better Mom. There is always room for improvement.

~ Buy my son a big kid bed...yikes!

~ Find a new stable job...with decent pay and commute.

~ Pay off some major debt.

~ Have my son almost potty trained? (a huge question mark on this one)

~ Hopefully hear something via the present I've been wanting.

So there it is 2010...thats what I want and those are my wishes. I don't think its a ridiculous list although some things will be harder then others. I'm just being real with what I want.

What are your wishes for 2010?

First Day

Today was Pumpkin's first day at his new day care. I prepared everything the night before (sheet, blanket, diapers, etc.,) so we could easily get out the door. I pumped up my little guy about all the fun he was going to have and he was so ready he was asking me to put his shoes on last night so he could go already...okay so maybe I pumped him up too much. I was already prepared to stay however long this morning for my son's first day so he would feel comfortable in his new surroundings. I was prepared for everything for him...what I was not prepared was for myself.

I was relieved walking in on his first day to meet with the Director who escorted me back to the classroom. I was also a little more surprised that she stayed with me to also encourage my son (along with my encouragement) about his new friends and new classroom. I briefed the teacher about his speech, told her words he knew and told them about his napping habits (more or less give him a pacifier) and told them if they have any questions to call me. My little guy (God bless him) is really an amazing kid. He looked very unsure his first few moments in the classroom. Thankfully this morning they were playing with blocks and trucks, which is something he absolutely loves. Other children were also in the room, which really helped break the ice. He then spotted a kitchen set...SCORE! My little guy let go of me and headed to his new discovery. I smiled thankful that he had enough encouragement and felt secure enough to let go the comforting arms of his Mom. I saw this as the best time for me to leave, so I told him that I was going and that I will see him after I get off work. He gave me a little kiss and was ready for the day. I walked out of day care, got in my car and cried.

I know it may sound silly to some of you to cry when he was perfectly okay. I know they are capable and I know he will have fun. I just feel that Mom guilt...that ever pressing guilt of not doing enough or whatever that Moms frequently have when it comes to their kids. I just felt terrible that I had to go to work and terrible that my son would have to discover a new environment for an extended time today all on his own...he's only two. It was somewhat worse today leaving him then when I left him at three months old after my maternity leave was over because he was aware...he knew that his Mom was leaving and he certainly did not know anyone there.

...I called at 10am like one of those worried Moms. I really had to struggle not to call sooner then that because I figured he needed SOME time to at least get some experience in his new setting. He is doing fine...ate a great breakfast, played blocks very well with the other kids and was just getting through with circle time. I know probably now at this time he is finishing up lunch and getting ready for a nap. I am looking at the time wondering when I can leave work....which knowing me...will be a TAD bit early today just because.

I just wasn't prepared today for my emotions and my reaction to him starting a new school. I kept remembering to send out "positive vibes" to him that when I finally came with grips about freaked me out a bit. I miss him. I miss his smiling little face and his little man attitude. I'll see him soon enough though.