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Thursday, January 14, 2010 I'm nervous

Earlier I wrote about how my son will be getting surgery this month to get his tubes and possible adenoids removed. After talking with several parents that have been there and done that...I am getting more and more nervous about the whole ordeal.

I know that getting tubes put in is almost one of the easiest surgeries that you can takes ten minutes tops. Getting adenoids (per internet research) is a bit more invasive and I should expect my son to have a little discomfort, but nothing like getting your tonsils taken out. I logically also know its the best thing for him because he will be able to hear correctly which will in turn dramatically help his speech. I know all this, but my heart aches for him. I want to protect him, to shield him from all this...and I can't.

I've been told that one of the hardest things is putting on scrubs and carry your baby back to the operating room. While the doctors and nurses are professionals and have done these surgeries hundreds if not thousands of times, you feel helpless handing your child to strangers and trusting them with your child's life. Sounds a bit dramatic, but its my baby and he's going under anesthesia. I was also given a friendly forewarning that some children can react a bit to the anesthesia by convulsing a bit. I don't know if I am ready for see your baby go through that. I'm in tears just thinking about it.

While logic explains everything so easily and so heart just aches for my son. I want him to be healthy obviously and will do anything for one ever said being a parent is easy. Honestly its the hardest thing I have ever done (I'd even take back labor pains any day over this) and still feel privileged that I get to experience it. I guess all I can do is pray from now until Tuesday morning.

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