Bad Dream

I had one of those really horrendous dreams last night. You know the type...the ones that affect your entire day and put you in a weird funk. I dreamed my husband died.

He didn't die of anything dramatic. No car crash. No crazy murder scene or anything like that. In my dream he just died and quite suddenly when we were on vacation and I just sat there shocked. I just kept asking myself over and over...."wait...what just happened?".  I just almost didn't know how to react...should I scream or should I cry...should I do both? I remember feeling that I needed to calm myself because the kids were there. God, I hate feeling this. It was too real and too damn scary. Even when writing this tears are flowing down my face reliving this emotion that I don't want to feel. The feeling of loss, what will happen to my children and how will we cope in life?

My husband is an amazing man and a fantastic Dad. He's very quiet but when he says something he means it and when he jokes he is quite hilarious. His world  is my world. We are truly best friends. I just can't imagine my world without him. I love him very much.

Thank God we have a date planned tonight. I need it to get me out of this crappy feeling and to hang onto my man for a little while.