Raising Kids

Earlier today a few of my friends posted a link on Facebook on an article about how parents should not dress their girls to look like tramps. I can't agree more. I can't IMAGINE why any parent would dress their little girls in padded bras, thongs, and clothes that most women wouldn't even feel comfortable in. Sure we all wanted to wear them at some point as kids, but we would never DREAM of asking our parents for them and those kids that did got the "death stare" from their parents. It just didn't happen. But why does it stop there? Sure this article deals more with clothing on girls and what it does to their self esteem and other mental health problems but why not discuss raising kids in general?

I am no perfect Mom in any way, shape or form. I get tired. I get impatient. I get damn right angry some times. However with both my daughter and my son, I am determined to raise them as equal as I possibly can to hopefully be the best people they can be. Sure my son won't try to wear slutty clothing, but will I let him wear a shirt that says, "F-You"? I don't think so. My stance on raising kids is sort of like that old country song, "Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" However, I have no issues with cowboys. I would change that title up a bit to be, "Parents don't let your your kids grow up to be assholes." A little blunt do you think? Well if thats the case, then I got your attention.

I think kids should be themselves. I've raised my son to be his outgoing self. I want him to explore the world he is in. I'm not about to stomp on his personality just because a few parents see him having a little more energy then their kid has. Those are the type of parents where their guidelines are that children should be seen not heard. I have no clue why anyone would want children to act like adults. Children are children. My son is who he is and I'm glad he sees the world with the glass half full mentality and savors as much in as he possibly can. However, like my daughter he will be raised to be sensitive to others, remember his manners in saying, "please and "thank you", ask questions, respect people and love God and family. Hell, he even has started with good old fashion chivalry in opening doors for people. He looks, sees and is learning. He's only three and a half and has more manners then a lot of people I know. He loves to love. He sees people as equals to him. He doesn't pride himself in being bigger or better even though he fancys himself as being spiderman from time to time. He's confident when he knows his space without being arrogant about what he knows. He cares for the people he loves in his own little three year old way. He is the exact person I wish him to be. Sure I wish that he would listen more. He isn't a robot where I can program him to obey my every command. He's a little boy after all.

Maybe my daughter will be quiet. If thats her then thats her. Maybe she'll be as energetic as her brother. I just hope she sleeps a full night like her brother does so I can retain some energy for their energy. I just love his energy though! I hope she sees the world as beautiful without focusing on the evil of what is out there. I wish for her to know as long as she can the innocence of life. I wish for her see and cherish the grace that God has blessed her little family with. She will learn manners and how to conduct herself. Hopefully she'll have fantastic confidence without relying on what is just beautiful but recognize that being smart is important too. I wish for her to feel comfortable without being arrogant. I wish for both her and her brother to look at their parents as a model in what a healthy, loving relationship is. I want the world for my kids but know the simplicity of life.

I want my kids to see and look at people as equals. Not to pride themselves too much but to have empathy for those around them. I want them to help people when they can whether it be a mother struggling to open the door while holding a screaming baby or letting a friend cry on their shoulder. I will not allow them to wear slutty or offensive clothing. They can wear green trench coats if they want (I sure did), but will be taught to not allow their clothing define them but let who they are shine out on the beautiful people they are. My wish as a Mom is not only to someday see my kids fly on their own, but raise them to be confident, loving, respectful, empathetic, happy, energetic individuals that love their God, family and friends. I'm not raising assholes here. I'm raising good, loving people.

Here I Am

I took a break for obvious reasons. Having a baby kind of takes up a bit of time and what time you do have free, the three year old takes up. Being a Mom of two little bits is fun, exhausting, humbling, interesting, awesome, and did I say tiring?

My little girl is pretty amazing. She's a fantastic baby. I hardly hear a peep from her and her complaints are so quiet! She sleeps four hours at a time in between feedings, but takes an HOUR to eat a single bottle. Her Aunt used to do the same thing as a baby. I am guessing using the family middle name (also Auntie's middle name) as her middle name pretty much jinxed her to be a slow eater which is fine since thats the only thing I can really complain about, which isn't much of a complaint. In any case, I'd rather her take her time vs. spit up like crazy like her brother used to because he would slug down a bottle like a veteran frat boy at a beer guzzling contest.

I can already tell her personality is so different then her brothers. I knew this when she was in the womb. She is TEN times more quiet then her brother ever was. She complains only when truly necessary, but when she needs to speak up she certainly makes her presence known. When my son was her age, he was just more active. He was more impatient. When he wanted a bottle, he wanted it NOW.

The juggling bit is more difficult. I really don't venture out on my own. Three year olds are not the easiest to go out with even when they are the only kid and I am just starting to feel good again. We have made it to day care, a store and to other various small outings. Thankfully the big brother is pretty amazing about helping me at home. He really is thoughtful and looks after his sister. He's also EXTREMELY protective. He has to know where his sister is and who is holding her. He makes sure to remind us when his sister is starting to fuss that she may need a bottle, need a change or a paci. He reminds his parents to pat his sister on her back after her feedings so we'll burp her well. He also is pretty amazing at getting his Mom or Dad certain things like new diapers, pacifiers or burp cloths.

On most days I'm busy. I'm always making food for somebody or doing some other activity. I am constantly making sure my son feels included with everything and keeping him busy. I even have him going to preschool for a few hours a few times a week so he gets play time, learning time, socialization and his speech therapy. I know its good for him. Its not always easy getting out of the house for pick ups (my husband drops off) but I know keeping his routine before I go back to work, learning with his peers, receiving his therapy and play time is great for him.

I love this new phase in my life. Its amazing really. Its the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm beyond exhausted. I dream of full nights sleep, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. The love in our house has multiplied. I thought my heart was full with my son and husband, but adding to it only makes your heart grow larger and even fuller. I see another side to my husband that I have never seen before. When his son entered the world, he wanted to shout to the roof tops he had a little boy. Imagine the beginning of The Lion King when Raftki held up Simba for the entire kingdom to admire. That is how my husband was. He had HIS legacy. You couldn't find a more proud Dad. With the birth of his daughter he is a lot more humble in his pride. He holds her closer, has grown softer and is already much more protective. It is just fascinating to watch that scenario. With two protective guys in our house, I find it amusing the tough time guys will have when my daughter is old enough to date.

I love my family. I am overjoyed, excited and beyond content. I could not thank God enough for my blessings. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for all of us.