Unwanted Advice

I am very careful when giving other Moms or pregnant Moms to be advice. At least I try to be and hope that I don't offend or annoy anyone. Why is that? Because I had my fill and still do at times getting advice that I didn't ask for or want. I found it annoying and almost rude because the advice seemed at times very insistent.

I obviously got advice from my Mom and my Mother in law. Some of it was good and some of it was way wrong or did not fit in with my family choices. On the other hand some advice that I did receive from family or friends was great and more or less it was great because of how the individual would give me the advice. It was given in the sense "not sure if this fits for you, but I tried this" sort of way. It wasn't intrusive or overbearing to my already over sensitive personality.

I did on the other hand, get a lot of negative comments or crappy advice that I still resent to this day. I remember a supposed friend telling me all sorts of crazy things like "I just don't get why Moms would not at least try to breast feed." She didn't know my choices or thoughts on that when I was pregnant, but why be so negative? Turns out I tried to breastfeed, but it didn't work. I have what you would say inverted nipples? I remember the lactation consultant and a nurse pulling and pinching my breasts in the hospital while my crying newborn was asking for milk and my breast nor my son did not want anything to do with breast feeding. It became stressful and way too much for me, so I stopped and decided that formula feeding would be my choice. I didn't think too much about it either. After all, there was more to worry about then my failed attempts at breastfeeding, I was learning how to be a Mom.

Fast forward a bit, that same friend learned that I was not breastfeeding nor pumping. You would of thought I was the most horrible Mom in the world with the looks of displeasure on her face. Then the bashing started. I like 90% of Moms that just had a baby, had trouble losing the weight. Hell, I still have trouble losing the baby weight. I am not like those very fortunate few that lose the baby weight with no problem at all. I am so jealous of those Moms. In any case, I did have a few extra pounds on me. I remember this same person telling me that if I breastfeed that I would have easily lost the weight. At that time I was still quite sensitive on the not breastfeeding issue. I did move pass it because there were just more pressing things in my life, but being reminded how I failed was not pleasant. I was honestly stunned. I am a passive type and not argumentative, so I probably let it go too long and too far, but that line was repeated at least once a week for a year until I basically cut off all ties from this person. It ended up that she was talking trash about all of her friends, just not me. I was thankful for that in a ways. Not because I want my own friends to be talked badly about, but because at least I wasn't singled out.

To be honest, I am not sure how you go about responding to unwanted advice or being overly pressured by people in your lives. I guess the best thing is try to ignore it as much as possible or say something clever to get these annoying people off your back. So ladies (and gentleman if you read this blog), be kind to your fellow Mommies or Daddies. You can give advice, but do so carefully and gently so you aren't one of "those Moms". Be supportive of other Moms, because at the end of the day we all want to do what we think is best for our own children.

Great Finds

Rated: A-

I have another great find for parents that use formula! This was a must have when my baby was still drinking formula from the bottle and it allowed me to easily go out and about without carting any extras. It is dishwasher safe and has three divided sections that can hold enough formula for an 8 oz. bottle. You can also take out the divided section when your child is older and use it for a snack container or keep the three sections in to divide smaller snacks. Its was probably my most useful and most used buy. I give it an A- only because although it is really durable, I broke at least two. I broke one when it fell off the kitchen counter to the tile floor and the other when I threw it down from the upstairs to the downstairs and my husband missed it. I really don't fault the product for the second time it broke though.

For a little back story on this item and why I am telling you all about it:

My sister and I had our children close in age and I remember on our first outings with our newborns. I remember seeing her wide eyed as I popped out the formula dispenser (shown above) with a pre-filled bottle of water. She never saw it and thought it was great. Beforehand, she would cart an extra bag that was basically a cooler with pre-made formula that she would have to warm up with warm water. It was problematic for her to go out (thus she really didn't want to go anywhere) AND it was a pain warming it up under hot water while your baby is hungry. So when she did see this formula dispenser and how easy it was, we went out the same day and purchased one for her. Because of this story, this is why I tell all Moms about this contraption.

PBS Sprout

While I don't let my toddler watch a lot of television, we will turn on the TV each morning (when I am not busy trying to get out the door for work), so he can have his time to hear the television in the morning and watch his favorite shows. When I first started looking for something for my son to watch in earlier months, I honestly skipped through a lot of programming on the Guide menu because I wanted my son to watch things that are age appropriate. I finally decided that whatever channel Sesame Street comes on, will be the one he watches. I admit I am a little biased because I watched Sesame Street as a little one and it was my favorite show.

I have come to find a new love for PBS Sprout. I love everything about that channel because it is age appropriate, has my favorite show that is now also my son's favorite show and I love the contents of the shows. On another channel they had some show called Grossology. Now I will admittingly say and immaturely say that farting and burping is funny to me as long as it isn't during church or another very inappropriate time. I just didn't think (for now) that I wanted my son exposed to that world of boogers, gas, and whatever else appears on that television show. While it may be fine for some, I think we'll stick to Sesame Street and my beloved PBS Sprout for a while.

What shows do you enjoy watching with your kids?

The Simple Things

When I had my son, I knew that I would love him, love being a parent and relish in the moments of seeing him grow. What I never expected was to be so humbled by his existence, become more spiritual because of the miracle that he is (all children are miracles), become closer to family and appreciate the more simple things in life.

My son is "all boy". He has an unprecedented amount of energy, tumbles and wrestles laughing hysterically and loves getting into things. I don't nor will I ever consider him to be a handful. Sure there are days when I wish he would just sit and just be, but he is a kid and he is a boy. It just surprises me what he does some days that are completely out of the blue.

Yesterday was an ice/snow day, so the family stayed in to keep themselves safe. As I do every day, I play with my son and took an opportunity to talk to him about the snow outside. He has no memory of seeing snow before so he was obviously curious about all that white stuff outside. While talking to him, I couldn't resist kissing him on his little rosy cheek as he looked innocently outside in curiosity. He in turn let out a little giggle, smiled and then kissed me on my cheek with the sound effects of a big smooch and then looked at me with another smile. It filled my heart with joy and it took me by surprise. My son has never kissed anyone without someone asking him to kiss them before. He did it because he wanted to.

That my friend is the simple things I am talking about. The things that you appreciate that are so little but so huge to a parent. Getting a simple kiss without asking just because. It just goes to show (for me) that its another indication that I am doing the right things. My son knows that kisses from Mommy are out of love and affection and he wanted to return the same to his Mom. God bless that little guy.