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Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Night Out

At one point in my life I had all but one girlfriend. Not sure why, but thats how it played out to be. I was never comfortable in discussing relationships, sex, parents or anything deep. I had great guys friends, whom I considered best friends, but they never really fulfilled that need and couldn't compare my thoughts and feelings as a woman. After all, they were all men. Then the day came when I found an amazing group of women. Women who I could bond with, talk to and wouldn't judge me, but give me sincere advice.

I used to think when I heard that women need women, I thought it was full of crap. The few girlfriends I did have growing up usually stole my boyfriends, back stabbed me and spread rumors about me. Thus I was always friends with more men. Men were so less complex. What you saw was what you got and if there was an argument, it was upfront and done within a days time. There was no grudge or revenge taken at a later time. As I began work in the real world after college, I was amazed to see so many young women working at my new company. At the company I was before, I was the youngest person there and the only people that were even close to my age were military men. I was cautious in meeting each of these women, since the last several friendships I had with women in the past didn't turn out that well. Plus I wanted to maintain that professional outer shell and never let them look, let alone see the over sensitive, shy, insecure person that I was.

After several months and work drama that occurred, several of these women would confide in me. Confide in me so much that if I ever said anything to my supervisors what they said, they probably would be let go. I was honestly surprised and pleasantly relaxed by this new found trust they had in me. Obviously I would never "rat" them out. It was the fact they trusted me that was so wonderful. Slowly I let them in my little world too and before I knew it, I had a circle of girlfriends that I never had before.

My work girls and I sort of grew together out of that girl phase and into actual women. I cheered when a friend of mine got engaged, sat with her threw her wedding planning at work and even attended her wedding. They rejoiced in when I got engaged, after I confided in them that I never thought my husband would propose. They even surprised me with a work bridal shower, which I got several of my "much needed" household items. But we never actually hung out after work.

The day came when someone had a bright idea of not having husbands, boyfriends around and just have it be an all girl event. It was to be at a friends house, since none of us felt like going out and we just wanted to relax. We invited a friend's sister over and we all opened up to each other about whatever was going on in our lives. I think by the end of the night we all had a new appreciation of each other. After all we were all women that could relate, give advice and there was no judgment involved. We all decided that after that night, we would do our best to hold monthly girls night.

Over the months we all bonded closer and closer together. I would look forward to each and every girls night the minute to when it was planned to the night of. Each girls night was filled with something new, a problem tended to and news revealed. At one such girls night a pregnancy was announced. We were all elated with the beautiful news and the upcoming baby it would bring. It turned into something beautiful. Something wonderful. Something I never had before in my life time. I was truly grateful and blessed. I had someone to talk to other then my husband about my concerns, problems and joys. It isn't that my husband isn't wonderful to talk to, but men, even if they are your best friend can only compare and relate such much. I was finally fulfilled in my friendships. It isn't that I would not invite more people in, because I would, but I actually had something great and something that I would never let go. I have never loved women unless they were relative like I love these women. Not in a romantic way of course. I love them as if they were my sisters. They are my sisters to me.

I guess my final thoughts in this post is, be open to friendships. Be open to meeting wonderful people in your life. I had one hell of a protective shell around me, but having these relationships changed my life and for the better. After my nights out, I come home a better wife, a better Mommy and overall rejuvenated for lifes daily events once more. Its a blessing. My sisters are truly a blessing and I love them all very much. They have no idea how much they mean to me. Women truly need women.

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