No! No Green Mama!

As I do every night before I go to work the next day, I lay out clothes for the following work day. This allows me to easily put on clothes sleepy eyed and I don't have to turn on the overhead light while my husband is half snoozing in bed for another 15 minutes. Since it was Friday, I decided on a pair of khaki's with a green polo shirt. It matched and it was suitable for work...plus I didn't have to iron either item. SCORE!

I put the outfit on in the morning and my three year old shot a look at me and whined while pointing to my green shirt, "No Mama. No green." I have no idea why he did not like the shirt. He wears plenty of green and there has been no traumatic experience while I wore this shirt in the past. I was not in the mood for a three year old to judge my outfit so early in the morning, so I told him that this is what I would be wearing and that is that. He said nothing more about but eyeballed me like I was making some sort of fashion faux pas.

I got to work and went the ladies bathroom. Now that I was awake, I looked at myself in the long mirror and instantly hated my outfit. The shirt really didn't go well with my slightly larger waistline. Bottom line: it was not as good of a match as I thought.

So how in the heck does a kid who does not know how to button his own pants, wears animals characters on his shirt and still poos in his diaper can judge my own outfit before I can? I guess I was just really off today. Either that or maybe I birthed the future Oscar de la Renta.

....Mommy apparently needs a stylist.

How Did He Know?

Yesterday we took Zaichik to his three year old well check up. His pediatrics office has great exam rooms themed out from Sesame Street to Superheroes. Each room is unique and this time we entered a room he hasn't been into since he was VERY little. It was the superheroes room. Zaichik was happy as it had plenty of toys in the room to play with (all still going with the theme) and yelled out "Spwider Man Mama" as he held up a Spider-Man action figure smiling gleefully.

How in the world does he know who Spider-Man is?

We have never watched Spider-Man at home, read books, or anything of the sort. He's probably heard of Superman from time to time, but not Spider-Man. My only guess is he somehow had another kid talk enough about Spider-Man and have some sort of picture of him at his school for Zaichik to easily recognize him so quickly and easily. Zaichik played with Spider-Man for almost the entire visit making little boy action noises and having him leap in the air from object to object. I just can't believe it. My baby has gone from playing with the Fisher Price Little People figurines to wanting to play with action figures. Not sure if Mama is ready for this one.

The Hungarian Revolution

My Dad sent me an article earlier this month which basically discussed that Washington D.C. is going to have a memorial for the fallen heroes of the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. Having Hungarian roots and actually meeting several Freedom Fighters (Hungarian Revolutionist) through my Nagypapa (Grandfather), I think this is pretty damn amazing.

For those who know nothing of the Hungarian Revolution, wikipedia link explains it as, "The Hungarian Revolution of 1956 was a spontaneous nationwide revolt against the government of the People's Republic of Hungary and its Soviet-imposed policies, lasting from 23 October until 10 November 1956." The site further went on to say, "Over 2,500 Hungarians and 700 Soviet troops were killed in the conflict, and 200,000 Hungarians fled as refugees. Mass arrests and denunciations continued for months thereafter."


Obviously the result was not what Hungary had intended it to be (at least for a while), but their sacrifices were great. They fought for their homeland because they saw a better tomorrow for their country. A better tomorrow, is something most Americans can easily identify with.

A Freedom Fighter once told us a story to my family of how a group of men were taking a bunch of women and children to the Austrian border. While they were walking, they saw a bunch of Soviet troops. Fearful the troops would open fire at them for whatever reason they deemed necessary, the men carefully moved themselves to the outer circle of the group essentially shielding the women and children. Much to the amazement of the Hungarians, the Soviet troop paid no attention and they were able to flee to safety.

I've only been to Hungary once and was a little girl when I went. Although I am proud of being an American, Hungary to me has a strange draw because of my roots. I know very little of the language, but know the cuisine and as a child frequented tons of Hungarian festivals dressed in my little folk costumes (it was customary 99% the people did this). My favorite dance was the Czardas, which is a dance where it would go slow to fast and then repeat back to slow again. I loved how my dress twirled out as we would almost get thrown going round and round!

Don't I Make A Cute Little Hungarian?

Close to the dance we would do...less uniformed though.

I kind of see the Hungary as a whole as part of home. Is that weird? I don't feel that way as much about being part German or Scandinavian. I suppose a big part of that is my upbringing. When I see things (however surprising it may be) like a Hungarian memorial, I can't help but be proud and think of my Great Grandfather Mikhail ("Michael" whom my son, Dad and I are named after). I just feel a connection and think how wonderful he would think this memorial was or how my Nagypapa and Nagymama would have found that to be real "swell".

Ég veled! (goodbye for now)

Fail

Today I had a minor fail as a parent...and I still feel about a inch tall for it. This morning it was raining cats and dogs just as I was about to leave for work. My husband was still upstairs watching the morning news as he didn't have to go into work until a bit later. My son loudly proclaimed he wanted to "stay here". I usually take him to day care and told him that Mommy had to go to work so he needed to come with me. He again exclaimed his distaste for the rain and that he didn't want to go outside. ....Neither did I.

Since my husband was still home I figured that Zaichik could stay home with him for a little while longer in hopes that the rain would let up some and at least he could play some more. I yelled up to my husband asking if that was fine and of course he agreed. I again told my son that I had to leave, kissed him goodbye at least three times and headed out the door. I saw his little face watch me leave from our kitchen window and if my boss wasn't out this week...Mommy might of just returned home to spend the day with him. It was just one of those mornings you feel torn about being a working Mom.

I called my husband as I got out of the neighborhood and got stuck in the morning rainy traffic mess of Northern Virginia. The phone went directly to voice mail. Mmmmm..... I called his cell phone. I just really wanted to know how Zaichik was doing and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt leaving him even though I obviously had to go. Eventually as I got caught in even more horrible traffic I got a phone call. My son had been crying his eyes out because I left and my husband wanted to know where I was. I wasn't going to be able to get to him any time soon even if I turned the car around. Thankfully Zaichik was calming down, but he did not want to talk to his Mom over the phone. ....today I just can't win, can I?

I know I did everything I could for my son this morning. I was trying to appease his hatred of the rain so he could stay home an extra half hour in hopes the rain would lighten up a little so he wouldn't scream and holler about going out into a major down pour. I just feel like I failed. Being a parent isn't easy....especially when your kid pulls on your heart strings. I can't wait until the work day is over so I can be the hero that rescues my son from day care. At least then he's usually quite delighted about whomever picks him up. Maybe he'll give me five seconds worth of a hug until he asks for his Dad...stinker

Quelf

This weekend, after the kids were sound asleep in their beds, I played a new board game with a few good friends called Quelf. Lets just say I can't remember laughing that much in a really long time and literally had to try to control my laughter because I was making myself sick.

Quelf is a fun game to play with your family or friends. It is not a kid game per say. Its not dirty or raunchy...its just no Candy Land (even though the pieces and the board looks otherwise). The game itself is unpredictable and each turn a person takes could make them say, do or act out hilarious things. Lets just say by the end of the night everyone went home smiling and we even played to having second and third place just to make the game last a little longer.

Try it...I doubt you'll be disappointed. Its one of the best games I have ever played. I give it an A+

Stop The Rain

Yesterday the DC metro area faced another huge down pour...and for some people it even happened twice in one day. There were areas without power, flash floods, tornado, etc., Thankfully we just had a whole lot of rain where I lived. The rain also happened to start just as I picked my son up from day care....

Before little Zaichik and I got home, it was pouring cats and dogs. I lacked having an umbrella in the car (not that it would of made much difference). We also don't have garage to our home, so to keep my baby as safe as possible I explained to him that Mommy was going to open the door first and then run back and get him so I am not holding him while fiddling with trying to open the door at the same time. Just as I opened the door, a HUGE CRACK KA-BOOM lit up the sky. It was so loud that is scared the tar out of me and made me jump. Thinking my baby is alone ten feet from me, I ran like a crazy woman to the car to open it up with a bawling three year old inside. I picked him up and he instantly calmed down and I scurried up to the front door as quickly as I could. He was still looking quite worried with little tears going down his face, so I said, "Wow God likes to play his musical instruments just as loud as you do sometimes!" He inquisitively looked at me and I explained to him that while God plays those loud musical instruments, we need to go inside and not play outside. He was okay with that explanation. I don't want my son to be scared of thunder or lightening unnecessarily, but I also want him to know a little safety. I remember being terrified of it being little and still can recall hiding behind the orange, 70's couch in my parents family room as a kid.

Once Zaichik was calmed down and the door was shut, he went to the family room and started playing. He looked up at me as I was getting ready to go upstairs to change out of my wet clothes when he questioned where his Dad was. I told him he was at work. Zaichik then exclaimed to me, "Dada make rain go away." I told him if he could he would, but thats not for him to decide. How awesome is it for a child to think his parents have the ability to do so many things...even change the weather? Dads do have special hero power, but not weather control. I was not asked if I could make the rain go away...the Daddy was.

It just brought back my own childhood revelation. That Moms (at least for me) were for nurture like kissing small (sometimes made up) boo boos, getting hugged if we were sad, and always played the constant referee. Dads were our heroes as kids (still are in some ways). They protect us, can kick any bad guy (or in my son's case any scary wolfs) butt, and can fix anything. As kids, I think we see our parents as if they have super hero powers. That each parent has their own unique abilities and talents. It just makes me smile to think that. That my son really thinks that we can do anything and everything to take care and provide for him. I'm even more proud to stand by and witness the adoring look in my son's eyes to think his Dad is his own personal super hero. How awesome is that?

Reminders

Yesterday's post was pretty bleak...and well todays is a tad better in terms of my own outlook. I got a reminder yesterday that while my loss of job is going to be a big change for my family if I don't find one soon....things could always be worse. Its a Russian way of thinking...but yeah...you get reminders of how lucky you really are sometimes.

I have been reading a blog now for a few years. I don't want to particularly advertise it because I just don't feel right doing it for some reason...and for this I'm following my gut. Essentially it is about a beautiful, Christian loving family that has three children, of which one is adopted. Their very young adopted daughter is nearing her last days on this earth due to a terrible, incurable, terminal illness. They had no clue about this when they adopted her...things came to light as she grew older and she retracted her in ability to do things even an infant could do. Even though they are going through the biggest emotional hardship of their lives, they are seemingly handling this as best as any parent could do. Explaining the upcoming sister's departure to their oldest daughter was gut wrenching and it made me burst into tears. How unimaginable. I was so moved by their grace, beauty and trust in their faith in God. I could do nothing but pray for them...sobbing like a baby. It is what no parent should ever go through.

I will continue to pray for this family in my own nightly prayers with my son. Sometimes you get a wake up call that things aren't so bad. I don't like knowing the unknown, but I am so blessed that my baby and my family is healthy. May this family find strength and encouragement through this inconceivable hard time.

Losing Your Job

I know I wrote a post like this a while ago, but the actual end date is now a reality since my contract was lost to another company. Simply put...we are losing our jobs.

It isn't that I haven't been looking either...I've been looking steadily for a year and a half. To no avail I have been offered four different positions after interviewing, which I would of took any of them. However, a hiring freeze, a lack of funds, not winning a contract, etc., has prevented me from getting any of these jobs. In short...its frustrating as hell.

I've needed to learn to breathe a little through this stress. If I don't find a job then all of my family lives changes a little. I am sure I can make ends meet through unemployment (though I really really really hate to go there). I just hate the uncertainty of everything. I am a planner by nature and the uncertainty of whats to come is daunting. I also feel the guilt of perhaps not providing for my family the way I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately for guidance and help. Perhaps there is a silver lining to this whole thing. I am just not sure what it is yet. I know at the end of the day as long as I have my family and we're healthy is all that matters. I just want to know that they are okay with Mommy changing their lives a little.