Fail

Today I had a minor fail as a parent...and I still feel about a inch tall for it. This morning it was raining cats and dogs just as I was about to leave for work. My husband was still upstairs watching the morning news as he didn't have to go into work until a bit later. My son loudly proclaimed he wanted to "stay here". I usually take him to day care and told him that Mommy had to go to work so he needed to come with me. He again exclaimed his distaste for the rain and that he didn't want to go outside. ....Neither did I.

Since my husband was still home I figured that Zaichik could stay home with him for a little while longer in hopes that the rain would let up some and at least he could play some more. I yelled up to my husband asking if that was fine and of course he agreed. I again told my son that I had to leave, kissed him goodbye at least three times and headed out the door. I saw his little face watch me leave from our kitchen window and if my boss wasn't out this week...Mommy might of just returned home to spend the day with him. It was just one of those mornings you feel torn about being a working Mom.

I called my husband as I got out of the neighborhood and got stuck in the morning rainy traffic mess of Northern Virginia. The phone went directly to voice mail. Mmmmm..... I called his cell phone. I just really wanted to know how Zaichik was doing and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt leaving him even though I obviously had to go. Eventually as I got caught in even more horrible traffic I got a phone call. My son had been crying his eyes out because I left and my husband wanted to know where I was. I wasn't going to be able to get to him any time soon even if I turned the car around. Thankfully Zaichik was calming down, but he did not want to talk to his Mom over the phone. ....today I just can't win, can I?

I know I did everything I could for my son this morning. I was trying to appease his hatred of the rain so he could stay home an extra half hour in hopes the rain would lighten up a little so he wouldn't scream and holler about going out into a major down pour. I just feel like I failed. Being a parent isn't easy....especially when your kid pulls on your heart strings. I can't wait until the work day is over so I can be the hero that rescues my son from day care. At least then he's usually quite delighted about whomever picks him up. Maybe he'll give me five seconds worth of a hug until he asks for his Dad...stinker