Losing Your Job

I know I wrote a post like this a while ago, but the actual end date is now a reality since my contract was lost to another company. Simply put...we are losing our jobs.

It isn't that I haven't been looking either...I've been looking steadily for a year and a half. To no avail I have been offered four different positions after interviewing, which I would of took any of them. However, a hiring freeze, a lack of funds, not winning a contract, etc., has prevented me from getting any of these jobs. In short...its frustrating as hell.

I've needed to learn to breathe a little through this stress. If I don't find a job then all of my family lives changes a little. I am sure I can make ends meet through unemployment (though I really really really hate to go there). I just hate the uncertainty of everything. I am a planner by nature and the uncertainty of whats to come is daunting. I also feel the guilt of perhaps not providing for my family the way I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately for guidance and help. Perhaps there is a silver lining to this whole thing. I am just not sure what it is yet. I know at the end of the day as long as I have my family and we're healthy is all that matters. I just want to know that they are okay with Mommy changing their lives a little.