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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Don't Have Time To Be Sick!

As parents, I am sure at one time or another when we were down with some type of sickness, we all uttered the words of, "I don't have time for this." I am uttering those words as I am typing this, because honestly I don't have the time to be sick. Being sick means that I lose that delicate juggle of balancing being a energetic Mom, loving wife, dedicated employee and a decent house cleaner to my beautiful three bedroom, always messy town home. When I am sick, the juggling act ends in a disappointing folly of miscalculating the numerous things that I as a Mom have to do on a daily basis and it takes forever to "catch up" when I start feeling better.

I have learned early in life that family is number one. I don't put anyone or anything before that. Therefore most of my attention and energy is always focused on my son and then my husband. I say my son first because my husband can feed himself, is toilet trained and communicates rational thought. My son needs me more then ever and is quite demanding on those needs. I call him "the little emperor" because even if the house was on fire, if he wanted his apple jacks or a toy on a shelf, he would think Mommy has to tend to his wants first. At least I can say that he knows I'll do anything for him. I just wish I could reason with him that when Mommy is sick she would like to throw up by herself without hearing crying outside her door and feeling guilty for it.

My husband is one of the most thoughtful men I know. I don't say "people" because he does not have that obvious womanly instinct on knowing when something is not right that women can easily pick up on. He's a man, but a good man. My husband does pick up the slack when Mommy isn't feeling well with doing extras on taking care of our son, preparing meals and cleaning up here and there. He is a fantastic surface cleaner, which means that he will see dirty laundry that needs to be picked up, but probably would not clean a crusty bathroom (I know gross). I am appreciative that he sees what he does see and recognizes when I am sick, but my sickness takes away husband/wife time. He usually is busy taking care of something around the house, be it our son or otherwise, so this leaves little time for one on one time. He also works full time, so when he is done picking up my slack, he is tired. This leaves little time/energy for either of us in the bedroom. He commented on the day I got sick about how he would of made love to me, but he understood I was sick. It was a nice thought, but when my libido is ten times the amount of any normal man, I was frankly disappointed that I wasn't well enough. I missed my opportunity! Damn sickness.

As for my work life. I really wonder why my company hasn't fired me. In this economy I am sure glad they haven't. I feel fortunate to have a wonderful, understanding boss, but I am sure my calls of "I can't come into day" are becoming tiresome. In one month I had to call in for my son, who was sick for two days and I had to call in a few days because I wasn't having the case of the "cha chas" at work. Now again I am sick with yet another virus of some sort that I caught from either the plague gorillas at work or the plague monkeys at my son's day care. Can I call in yet again to take some time to get better? Nope, I don't think my boss would believe I am sick AGAIN. I am sure she probably thinks I am a hypochondriac, but I honestly am not.

Then there is the house. I have to laugh to myself a little bit because it resembles more like a war zone and not a house. There is three loads of cleaned laundry dumped on my bedroom floor asking to be folded and put away, toys cluttering all parts of the house, dishes left in the sink, bathrooms needing to cleaned so badly that perhaps a pressure washer of bleach and a face mask just might do the job, and a yard that needs to be cleared away of dog doo. Basically in my Mom's own words when she used to look at my room when I was a teenager "it looks like a war zone in here." I honestly am a clean person. I was a person that before I had children would clean her bathrooms thoroughly from top to bottom every Friday and a person that was so on top of her laundry that there were always clean socks folded and put away and pants were never worn twice in the week without being washed/dried first. I hate a dirty home and I am embarrassed of it. No matter how horrible I feel about the current condition of my home, its last on my list of things to do because I have to take care of my son the best I can AND work so I can bring in an income.

I know I will feel better soon, but I just don't have time in the present to be sick. I have so much to do and so little time as it is to finish everything that I want to finish in one day. I do set the bar high for myself (I think most Moms do) so I feel like a little bit of a failure when things don't get done the way I wanted or when I just don't have the energy for them. I am making strides on feeling better. I am desperate to feel better actually. As a Mom that would never take medicine for anything (perhaps its due to my pregnancy days when I couldn't take a damn thing), I now will take anything (within reason) to make me feel better. I will even down the insanely disgusting cough syrup that I previously refused during all of my childhood/adulthood. I decided (for now) to finish off the prenatal vitamins that I had left over when I was pregnant to boost the vitamins in my body and then get a multi-vitamin from the store to help once I am done with those. I also made a little bit of a late New Years resolution to stop biting my nails. Its a horrible habit I know. Despite the health factor, it is quite embarrassing at the age of 26 to still be biting my nails like a little girl lost in a grocery store. If was to attend a Nail Biters Anonymous meeting, I would say that I am three days clean of biting my nails. Whoo hoo! I am just a Mom on a mission to feel better. If anyone else has some great suggestions then throw them my way. I'll take what you have to say in consideration, but practicing voodoo, working out at the gym and eating organic just isn't going to happen. Remember, I am a Mom pressed for time.

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