Pregnant!

Yesterday my husband and I decided to let the cat out of the bag so the rest of the world would know...we are PREGNANT! We told close family and friends initially, but decided it would be best to keep it a semi secret until around my second trimester.

Finding out was one of the BEST birthday presents ever. To be honest, we were trying for a while and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I charted. I knew my cycle. I just wasn't getting pregnant. There were a few (okay a lot) of teary months and I did keep that all in the shadows of my home after the baby would go to bed and I would be sad with my husband. He told me to keep faith and it would happen when the time was right. Being patient just isn't one of my virtues. Finally I confessed to one of my friends that I was trying and feeling quite heart broken, especially when it was so easy to get pregnant with my first. It was one of the HARDEST things for me to talk about. Its almost admitting that you're failing somehow as a woman. It may sound silly, but if you've been there...you know what I am talking about. We talked a bit, but she told me point blank (and it was something I needed to hear from a third party) to CHILL OUT. Next month, I did chill out. I knew the cycle, but we stopped looking at specific days, etc., We prayed and let whatever was to happen, happen. I finally breathed. Guess what? It took.

I found out the Saturday before my birthday. My husband and I just came home from a party and I decided...why not? Needless to say, I was shocked but ecstatic to see two VERY clear pink lines. I came downstairs and handed the test to my husband. He at that point was used to seeing one liners even though we would squint in hopes of seeing a second line. He didn't need to squint. I can remember his face clear as day...surprised, almost a bit shocked and asked me "REALLY?!!!!!" We told Zaichik, but he really had no reaction at that point, which is expected of a three year old.

That Sunday we told both of the parents. My parents picked me up for church, and unlike most days, I asked if they could come inside. My husband told them and they were so excited! I did let my Dad tell the priest. It was the Sunday that Zaichik thought Father John's name needed to be blessed like the sign of the cross, "Father, John, Holy Spirit" instead of "Father, Son, Holy, Spirit". Later that evening we told my husbands Mom and her boyfriend. The boyfriend got it when my husband said that Zaichik was going to have a brother or a sister. His Mom initially thought we were just telling her we were trying, and was so excited to hear that we were actually pregnant.

Zaichik is the sweetest little guy of them all about this pregnancy. In the past few months he has become accustomed to knowing that Mommy has a baby in her belly. He even thinks he has a baby in his belly too sometimes too. We talk about the baby. He tells me how he's going to be nice to the baby and share, although he did state that he would NOT share his bath toys. That is fine with me for a while since the two won't be sharing baths initially. He also told me he would share his old crib and points out that the nursery is the baby's room and his room is the one next to it. He even makes it a point now to say "hi" to other babies when we are out in public.

I will also say, that neither his Dad nor I care what sex the baby is. I think most people are a little surprised to hear that, but honestly we just want a healthy baby. If we have another boy, then great because we know boys and Zaichik will have a brother. If we have a girl, then great because we will get another type of experience raising a girl and Zaichik will have a sister. However, when we have asked Zaichik if he is going to have a brother or a sister, he always replies with "swister". He has never deviated from that. I have told him a sister means a girl and a brother is a boy, but he is adamant that it is a girl. So we will see if my little predictor is correct when we hopefully find out at the end of October.

Lastly, I thought maybe I would feel different when I got the sonogram (pictured above). I have already experienced sonograms with my first pregnancy and even though I obviously think this baby is a miracle and it is such a blessing, I almost thought I would be used to it. What a silly notion! The moment I saw my baby, my heart fluttered and I could not stop tearing up. Hearing the heart beat (a steady 170 bpm) was amazing. It was the first time I got a glimpse of my baby, my second child, my Zaichik's sibling. I was in complete awe and truly humbled.

Babies will come when they want to and honestly, even with all the stress and new beginnings going on in my life, it was the perfect timing. There are some hurdles to jump and new things to figure out, but life is forever changing and I'm so happy that God has blessed me with another child, a sibling for my son. This pregnancy has been hard with feeling nausea and having multiple migraines in my first trimester, but it has also humbled me too. I would rather feel healthy in some respect, but I almost am glad that I don't feel terribly well because for me its a sign the baby is fine. It certainly is a completely different pregnancy then what I experienced with my first, but it is still just as amazing and pretty awesome.

Thank you God. I could never thank you enough for all the blessings you have given me.