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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What To Choose

I have a tiny confession today, I told a white fib today. Actually, a Mom induced white fib because I weighed in for two seconds what was more important and obviously my kid prevailed.

I was asked to attend a meeting after my usual work hours today. It is a meeting that I could conference call into just like many other people would do(thank god for that), but I was asked if I could be present. Why I don't know. The meeting's agenda isn't something that really relates to my team. I think it is just so I could be another body in the room. I hate meetings like that. In any case, I quickly thought that of all days, today my son for the first time is having a parents assembly at his school where they are going to put on a show they have been practicing for weeks. I couldn't miss that and I wouldn't miss that. So quickly I put on my liars cap, my "I need to fib" Mom hat and told them that I could call in (the meeting would be the duration of my commute to the day care), but I have a scheduled appointment today that I can't reschedule any time soon. I did not say what for, so in part it is truth, just not probably what they are thinking of. So I got the free pass to call in and I got my way.

Looking back, I will never be sad I missed this meeting. A meeting that will mean zilch in about six months. My job is rocky at best with a rebid of the contract work up in the air. Even if it wasn't, do you actually think I will miss it? NOPE! Jobs these days come and go but families are number one. Obviously we all have to perform and be good employees to provide for our families, but in regards to a decision on what is more important in this matter, there is just no question.

I think I learned through some of my parents mistakes and some of their good doings on why my mind set is the way it is. My Mom always put my sister and I first. There was no question in our little heads on what she would choose. She is probably the least selfish human being in the world when it comes to that. I truly admire the sacrifices she made for my sister and I. I honestly think it helped shape the Mom I am today. I constantly try to be a better Mom every day and mirror what my Mom was to my sister and I.

My Dad on the other hand was more of the bread winner in the family, so he had to sacrifice some family time for his career. I have no qualms against that. He obviously had to do what he had to do. Usually it is like that where one parent has to focus more on their career while the other parent in some ways takes a back seat on their profession. How single parents do it, I don't know. Even so I honestly wonder if some times my Dad has regrets. He sacrificed so much for his career and was always traveling. However, at the end of twenty something years was let go due to a cut back and had to find a new job. It did not matter that he sacrificed hours upon hours of traveling, or late evenings at work and time away from his family. It just didn't mean two cents. I am not saying my Dad wasn't very active and present in my childhood. I can't say that I don't remember my Dad missing big events because he was always there. My Dad even was in Indian Princess (now called Adventure Guides) with both my sister and I. Despite all that, at the end of the day and maybe it is because my sister and I are girls, we are still closer to my Mom. We had that bond with her from spending so much time with her. We knew she was our rock and my Dad was the family's rock. It was just different that way.

I am not sure what I am getting at. I just think that if your kid has something special going on then at least one parent needs to be present to participate in that. I don't remember the material things in my childhood that my parents bought me so much as I remember the time they spent with me and all the wonderful outings we did together or playing games in the back yard as a family. Those things didn't cost anything. Will my son remember if I did not go to his assembly years down the road? Probably not. He is a bit too young to remember things. However, I will know I was there. I will remember the sweet smile on his face when he is proud that his Mom is there to give him a smile and hug just as the other parents are there with their kids. By being present at these little events that will eventually mean so much in a child's little world, my kid will know his Mom always will think of him as number one. There will be no doubt in his little mind that he will see his Mom walk through the door to cheer him on.

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