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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Childhood

The journal post got me reflecting of the little memories and thoughts I had of the world when I was a kid. What I wanted to be. What I thought life was going to be like when I was older. What type of money I wanted to make. What type of man I was going to marry. I wish I could rewind back to my childhood and listen to my thoughts and see my own little experiences that have been long forgotten.

When I was a kid, my dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up was to be a Mom and a author. My first baby doll was named "baby" and then when I got a little older his name was "John". He had green eyes and brown hair. Although my baby's name isn't John, he does have green eyes and brown hair. I remember "taking care" of my baby and he would go with me everywhere; to the speech therapist, day care (tucked away in my cubby) and the doctors office. It didn't matter where I went, John in the early years was always with me. Then as I got a little older I had more "babies". I had favorites called Kori (named after a crush) and a few others. I remember playing house with my friends and while they would have just one baby that they wanted to take care of, I remember having at least three to five babies that I would play Mommy too. I always wanted kids and always wanted more then just one or two.

While I haven't fulfilled my dream of becoming a published author, I have fulfilled it somewhat with this blog. Here there are no rejection letters, editors or deadlines. I write what I want and when I want to. I still would love to write a childrens book of some sort someday. Put that on my bucket list if you will. As a kid I would write tons and tons of stories. My biggest story (which I have to get from my parents old computer) was called Stars and Stripes Forever. The story took place during the Victorian era and told a tale about a woman named Geraldine who was married to the Captain of a ship. During the voyage, the ship was overrun with pirates and the Captain died bravely defending his crew. Geraldine was obviously distraught but on the voyage home, she became comforted by a sailor and they fell in love with each other before reaching port. I was seven when I wrote the book and I remember my Nagymama (Grandmother in Hungarian) reading it thoughtfully and telling me what a wonderful writer I was. I'll always be thankful for that memory. It is one of my fondest with my Nagymama.

I thought life for everyone was easy. I remember thinking that everyone lived like middle class families and had single family homes. There weren't a lot of town homes/apartments where I was from or at least I can remember. You either lived in a house or a trailer. Everyone had a Mom and a Dad. Everyone had a sibling to fight with. Everyone went to church on Sundays. I guess my parents can pat themselves on the back as their kid had such a good outlook on everyone's life. Things like poverty, hunger and abuse were things that I never heard of and I am glad for that. As a child you should be educated in things to an extent, but being a bit naive is good too.

I also remember during an episode of The Cosby Show where Cliff Huxtable's salary was made to light. He made around $50,000 a year. I remember thinking that was a TON of money and how I wish I would make $50,000 a year some day. I laugh at that now because where I live and what people do around here, $50,000 these days just is not a "ton" of money.

As for marrying someone. I didn't have an ideal man really. I mean who does when they are a kid? My childhood dream men were Crocodile Dundee and Indiana Jones. Not really the marrying type or the settling down type. But I believed that once you got married that you could immediately move into a sprawling single family home. I remember I had picked out a home close to my church that was in a neighborhood where "rich people lived". I had no idea what things cost or what people could afford. I just figured I was going to live there and drive my kids around in my little tikes yellow top car.

Would I ever dream of marrying the man I am married to now? Not at all and to a Russian no less. When I was a kid, there was a fear of Russians. I had no idea why but they were the bad guy back then. I remember a neighborhood kid and I building a "bomb shelter" (aka a a 4x4 foot hole in the ground three foot deep). The bomb shelter was for when the Russians came and we would hide out there waiting for them (we waited a lot). I guess we were to protect the neighborhood? We collected all sorts of sticks, rocks, and pine cones to defend ourselves. Now I am married to "the enemy" I would of thrown sticks, rock and pine cones at as a kid. He really is the love of my life and I couldn't of dreamed of a better husband or Father for my son. I actually love his culture, love his language and love the little quirks that make him Russian. For instance, I love that he has made me sit down for a minute before we leave the house on a trip because Russians believe it is good luck. We have survived vacations together and come back in tact, so I guess it is working!

So while I viewed my adult years as a kid in much different way, it has also gave me wonderful memories to look back on. I am proud of the things that my youth has taught me and glad I overcame the whole "defend myself against the Russians" thing. Sometimes your childhood dreams do come true. I have my baby and will hopefully have more someday. I make more then Cliff Huxtable. Although I don't live in a rich neighborhood, I have a beautiful home and drive a car a bit better then the little tikes little yellow roof top car. I have a husband who treats me with the love and respect. He may not be Crocodile Dundee or Indiana Jones, but he is much cuter and a lot more down to Earth then those guys. And if he ever gets out of line, I just may throw a pine cone at him for good measure.

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