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Friday, February 20, 2009

Insecurities


Through my own research with blogs, baby boards, hearing others talk and my own thoughts I have found that even through the adult years we all have a lot of insecurities. Sure we may not have some of the same insecurities we had as a teenager, but as a kid I never thought that adults would have so many insecurities. I often wonder if my own parents had some of the same insecurities or worries in life.

So I will first break down the most common insecurities that I found throughout the parenting world and then will discuss it. Some of these insecurities are about being a parent in general and others insecurities have nothing to do with it.

1. Physical appearance (including weight)

2. Losing your Other Half By Death or Separation

3. Failure as a Parent

4. Failure in Faith (humbleness, pride, etc)

5. Miscarriages/Not Able to Conceive

6. What Others Think (fitting in, sounding stupid, accidentally offending someone)

7. Own Parents Are Not Proud of You

8. Self Confidence

9. Grown Children Not Needing You

10. Physically Attractive to Spouse

Do some of the listed items surprise you or does it not? Do you feel that you have a lot of the same insecurities that are listed? I for one have several of the same insecurities and although the insecurities to be frank "suck", I am glad that I know I am not the only one.

1. Physical appearance (including weight)

I do have my insecurities of not looking what I used to in caring both what I look like and in my weight. I look back at my old photos and wonder where did the cute girl go? I am not trying to sound egotistical, but looking back I thought I was quite cute and I wish I could tell that girl in those photos that I wasn't fat or ugly but really really cute. Maybe I'll be retelling myself in years to come about photos of me now, but please lord don't let my butt get any bigger! I just need to work on weight and take some extra time on myself that is all. Its easier said then done though.

2. Losing your Other Half By Death or Separation

I don't have the insecurity that my husband and I will ever separate. We love each other and don't believe in divorce but do believe that marriage is always something that needs to be worked on. I do admit I have a huge fear of anything happening to him. He is my rock, my best friend, my everything.

3. Failure as a Parent

I think we all have this insecurity. Not that we all won't try, but not fulfilling something or doing enough as a parent. I always strive to be better then I was the day before, especially on days you don't shine very well as a parent.

4. Failure in Faith (humbleness, pride, etc)

I will raise my hand and say "me" on this one. I constantly am at war with my insecurities and failure in this area. I do love God and believe in my faith, but do struggle with different aspects of my what my faith teaches.

5. Miscarriages/Not Able to Conceive

Another HUGE insecurity or perhaps even a fear of mine. I am so grateful to have a beautiful healthy son, but I also want more children in the future. My own Mother had five (yes five) heart wrenching miscarriages and one was at six month. She was never given a reason on why. My heart aches for any parent that goes through this and I am fearful of it. I can't imagine the loss. On not being able to conceive again is also another worry/insecurity. I love children and love being a Mom.

6. What Others Think (fitting in, sounding stupid, accidentally offending someone)

For the most part, I don't care what other people think of me. I do admit that I have the insecurities of sounding stupid and wish some times that I would fit in, but its not a major issue in my life.

7. Own Parents Are Not Proud of You

This is not really an issue in my life. I know my parents are proud of me. They wanted me to get a college education and be able to make it on my own in life. I have succeeded that.

8. Self Confidence

I have a huge problem in my own self confidence. My husband has great self confidence and I honestly wish I had that.

9. Grown Children Not Needing You

I am no where near this point, so this isn't a real insecurity for me. I do think my Mom is somewhat right when she says that daughters will cling to her own family and sons more or less stray a bit. My own family is walking proof because we do see my parents a lot more then we see my husbands. I do try to be a good daughter in law and call my mother in law from time to time or invite her over. I hope that my son some day has a good wife that will do the same.

10. Physically Attractive to Spouse

Okay so who doesn't want to be hot in the eyes of their spouse? I do! I think this goes along with my own insecurities about being physically attractive/weight. My husband never says that I am ugly (that would be the day) or leads me to think that I am unattractive to him. I just think that I am unattractive thus he may think the same. For any man reading this blog today, tell your wife she looks beautiful today. Its a great "pick me up" that every woman needs from time to time. Plus you may need those extra brownie points.

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