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Thursday, February 26, 2009

A New Way Of Thinking

I knew it would happen, but I am still surprised about how much my son has changed me. From looking at the world in a different perspective in wanting to be a better place, being more religious, and event he small little things he has changed in my daily life.

I used to never watch the news or care really whats going on in the world. I guess that was the teenager/young twenty something mind set of "if it doesn't effect me then I just don't care" attitude. Even if it did effect me in some way or another pre-baby, I would shrug it off and continue on. Having my son has really changed the outlook I have on the world around me. I want our streets to be safer, our economy to not be in such turmoil, and my kid to go to a good school. I guess perhaps I never REALLY thought about where I live or if I will have a good paying job tomorrow. Now I frequently (usually when we get a new neighbor) the National Sex Offender Registry to see where these "nasty" people live. I obviously can't do anything about if it one of them moved next door, but this would at least give me the heads up. I also choose a neighborhood to move into where I would want my son to eventually go to elementary school, middle and then high school. I wanted him to go to schools where I knew it would have other kids that had parents that actually cared and that the county was known for good test scores. I even changed my job because if I had to go to work, then I was damn well going to make more money to better support my family.

I also found myself to be even more religious after having my son. When you are a Mom or Dad and your child is just born, you look at him or her and just can't believe that this being exist. You see them as true miracles and that just really opened up my eyes to God's grace and his unending love he has for all of us. And when there are those less then positive times when your kid is sick with a bug or he/she won't stop crying through the night, prayer really helps. The faith in God to pull you through the circumstances with your child is unbelievable to me. Its not your soul anymore that you are responsible for, its another beings soul and I would do anything and everything for my little guy.

Finally the small little things that my guy has changed about me. He turned my world upside down and for the better. I once used to sing my little pop or rock songs to myself and now find myself singing the words to Elmo's World and making up cheesy songs with my little guy's name in it. I have never stopped eating for two. Not that I am eating double the amount, but usually there is a little guy next to me wanting a bite or two of whatever I have. I used to research and window shop for either myself or for things for the house and now I read everything about my baby's age group and window shop (often buy) for my little man now. It is simple things but its things I have never done before.

To have a baby, to love a baby will change you. There is no question about that. Its just amazing how much a little person can change you in an instant and even though you once resisted change; this change, this new way of thinking is done without hesitation.

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