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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

You Think You Are Better Parent Than Me?

We have all been there and are guilty of it ourselves, judgment on other parents. Perhaps we judge a little less now, then before we have kids because some of us are wiser and know that melt downs, blow outs, and endless amounts of snot does happen. I still hear stories and some times get those judgmental stares or little pieces of unwanted advice from people. But really, do some of you think you are a better parent then me? Do you think your experiences with or without children surpasses your knowledge versus my own of being a parent? I am not saying that I am wiser then any of you. I just think we have the same playing field of learning, making mistakes, recovering from mistakes and above all loving our children with an unprecedented amount of love. My question is, what is the deal?

 Do you think you are you a better parent then me because I had medical help when I was going through labor? More power to the Moms that can and do go through natural child birth. I don’t like pain. I don’t like experiencing pain. I have no idea on a scale what your pain was like versus my own. My pain was excruciating horrible with back labor and pushing a child the size of a small water melon out of my body. Who are you to judge on what my body can withstand? Doesn’t everyone including doctors alike say that every pregnancy and labor different? Will I choose to have an epidural again in any of my next labors? HELL YES!

 Do you think you are you a better parent then me because I did not breastfeed my baby? Sure breastfeeding is a lot of times easier then carrying around formula and bottles around. However when you insinuate that I don’t love my child or don’t want to provide my child with nutrients, then you are just a nasty individual (yes I said it). It is not for you to know about my individual problem with trying to breastfeed. We are both trying to nourish our children the best way we possibly can. My boobs are no business of yours. I don’t ask about yours do I?

 Do you think you are you a better parent then me because one of you stays home with yours? I am a working Mom, a full time working Mom and I work hard. I obviously put my child first above my career, which is why I never have sick days for myself and 90% of the money I earn goes to my kid some how or another. I work because I have to, not because I choose to. It’s called paying a mortgage. I spend tons of times reading books, playing games, taking my kid to area events and doing little crafts at home. I am a professional juggler you know.

 Do you think you are you a better parent because my kid doesn’t do what your kids did at his age? My son is very smart. He understands much more then he lets on. He can analyze a situation and figure out how to get around it much of the time. I call that smarts even though it does not always work in my favor. He is also very much like his Dad. He talks only when it is necessary but other then that he lets everyone else babble away.

 Do you think you are a better parent because you can have kids while I can not? I got that criticism (I don’t know if I can even call it that) not to long ago about how one person said how lucky she is to get pregnant all the while looking at me knowing my hurt in not being able to at this point in time because of finances. Shame on you! And to the person reading this blog and wondering if it was you, it isn’t. She doesn’t read this blog.

I am not trying to sound angry, although perhaps I am about some of these things. I just want to point out that words and judgments are hurtful. Instead of judging a parent then why not help them or at least minimally give that smile of “I’ve been there girl and I know what you are going through.” We love our kids. We all want is best for our kids and we are all trying to get there. We as parents just need to stop stepping on each other’s toes and unite for the better good, for our precious children.

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